I am Loraine Mooney.... where do i start?
On 19th August 2010 I went into hospital for a routine operation...(well ... when I say routine.... I had been waiting for the op for about four months... delayed due to appendicitis in June and my partner at the time leaving to be with another woman.... less said the better about that particular tool!!) was under anesthetic for twenty minutes only to be woken up and told I had an extremely larger tumour in my bladder more likely to be cancerous than not cancerous and as a result the operation had been cancelled.... bombshell or what?? To add insult to injury I was sent home the day after with a catheter bag strapped to my leg... not exactly the best look for any woman who wanted to be out on the pull to forget about the plank and his bimbo lol. After a series of blocked pipes, which let me tell you was bloody agony. I was released from the catheter a week later in clinic only to be told my bladder had to be removed..... My reaction
"What do you mean you're gonna take my bladder out... how do i pee?" Followed by...
"No... you can't give me a bag I've been loosing weight to get in a bikini this year..." Anyway, I was sent away and told i would need another ct scan and the oncology team would see me.. that was it... no support ... no sod all really....
So for the whole weekend.... I got trollied... and when I say trollied I mean totally and utterly wasted for a whole weekend.... on the 9th of september I went for my ct scan ... by sunday the 12th I was rushed in by ambulance really really ill...the cancer had moved into my bowel and caused a hole... the doctors came did a lot of whispering and I was told I had a 30% survival rate and it would take three teams of doctors to sort me out!! Not the best news in the world but I guess those are the breaks.
Surgery was finally scheduled for 28th september after three weeks in hospital a team of six surgeons and a whole operating theatre.. At 8.30am I went down for surgery and was fitted with an epidural for pain relief after the operation and it was 8pm before I finally made my way up to HDU... I don't remember much of that day apart from being in lots of pain and in and out of sleep. After another twenty four hours of agony and trying to resite the epidural twice I was given morphine... 24 hours later that had to be stopped due to an uncontrable itching.... and eventually i was given tramadol and codine...I got to grips with the bag over the next week and on my 40th Birthday I was allowed day release for my birthday the most exciting part of which was lying on my mums sofa with a glass of champagne watching x factor live lol not exactly the 40th birthday I had in mind. I was supposed to be in New York with Dave... On the 15th October 6 weeks after being taken in .... I was finally released from hospital into the care of the stoma nurses and the district nurses.... and life continued....
and i coped... I had good days and bad days... my first ct scan was my biggest hurdle I remember being shit scared as i waited for my results... but I passed with flying colours no more cancer.....My second one april.... again I passed with flying colours... no more cancer. I returned to work in February and in April me and my neighbour Sue booked a holiday to Cyprus... I was ecstatic... my first holiday without children or partners I couldn't wait.... and on the 27th April we jetted off to Protaras, Cyprus!!
It was bliss...... sun sea and sand absolutely fantastic... the first night I drank a bottle of wine and fell under a table... not cos I was drunk because my leg had a funny turn again... it had been doing this since surgery I took it a bit more careful after that I can tell you. On the 29th the evening of William and Kates wedding... I met Lee. Traditionally we had developed a routine beach during the day followed by a stroll from one end of the strip to the other. This particular night we started at the opposite end and came across Rives bar. There he was stood at the door..."Evening ladies" he grinned and something about his eyes just had me hooked then and there. He bought me a drink we talked and danced and I suddenly realised that maybe the attraction was mutual.... Lee Mcevoy from Grimsby aged 45 and in my eyes the best thing since sliced bread lol. I saw Lee every night after that and on my last night I went to the bar alone and we talked and talked and talked and he told me I had to come back and see him.... Holiday romance.. you may say those of you who know me ... know different. I returned to the UK and we continued to talk via internet and phone and text messages. However my leg had got worse and I was referred for a ct scan of my spine which flagged yet another issue... one of the discs in my back was resting against a nerve... I needed to be referred to Neuro surgery at the LGI in leeds for a further operation.... crap news. I left the hospital rung Lee and bawled my eyes out. As usual Lee was reassuring told me it would be okay and told me I had to go back over and see him.
You know what on the 8th June I bloody did it I landed at Larnaca airport on my own with one of Lee's mates picking me up... crapping myself I was... in a strange country meeting a guy I hardly new... but the minute I laid eyes on him I knew I'd made the right decision. Being in |Cyprus felt like being home.
It was five short days but they were the most fantastic ones I'd had. I was in love and it felt fantastic. I left and arranged to go back in October with the kids.....
Then I found cheaper flights for August Jenna couldn't make it due to her job but logan could we could go for ten days flying out on the 16th and coming home on the 26th so I booked it and waited.
Another Ct scan in July and it went without a hitch... I wasn't worried... I felt great.
On the 9th August the day before my results i got a feeling... i was worried sick and in constant touch with Lee panicky and dreading my hospital visit on the 10th.
Missy moo sue my other mate was coming with me for the results cos i was too scared to go on my own.... gut instinct .... funny feeling... whatever it was I had it.... and unfortunately I was right.
"There's a 3cm tumour around your bowel we're referring you to st james's its either gonna be chemotherapy and surgery or just chemotherapy". I was devestated... chemo means no hair.... "We should be able to get you to see them next week..."
"No you can't I'm in cyprus from tuesday for ten days it needs to be after that...." I practically yelled at them.
"Okay thats fine a holiday is probably what you need before your treatment" I left the hospital in tears again.
I'd nearly made a year and the cancer was back. I rang lee... he was gutted. "God i feel like such a tool I said it would be fine... I'm so sorry..." I cried and I think he cried too. But I had to get it out of my head a holiday in cyprus was just what I needed....
Cyprus with Logan was fantastic, don't get me wrong I was disappointed at first no sign of Lee at the airport flat was a bit untidy but he'd been working hard, he probably didn't have the time.
I got to the bar with Logan, fell into lees arms and gave him the biggest kiss ever, it was so great to be back. His smile said it all he was happy to see me.
Ten days went really quickly the only time Lee had off was the weekend and the Tuesday and Wednesday day time prior to us leaving... every night he was at the bar working. But the days we had together however short were very special. I got a letter from st James's whilst I was in cyprus with Lee it was for tuesday 30th august at 10am. I was crapping myself, Lee kept reassuring me up until i left. My last night was my hardest night there. I cried buckets even on Marios (Lee's boss) no one could understand why I was so weepy ... but why would they? They didn't know what I was going home too.
