The vomiting continued as i lay on the sofa. I felt terrible hot and sweaty too. "I think I need to take my temperature Lee" I told him, and he went on search of the thermometer. My temp was high above 38.8, Lee looked at it.
"Want me to call the doctor?"
"Yep I think we should it hurts" I replied. The pain was getting unbearable I had a drink and the vomiting started again. Lee had rang the doctor under the new system you have to wait for a call back. I began to vomit again it was then Lee said "Shall we call oncology get some advice?"
"Yep probably a good idea" I replied. So Lee got the number for the hospital off the fridge and began dialling eventually they asked to speak to me so they could do an assessment. An assessment takes about seven minutes over the phone but at the time when you're on the other end in pain trust me it feels like an eternity as the nurse spoke I paced the floor explaining how I was feeling and answering yes or no to the questions. I had just put the phone down when it rang again and this time it was Dr Langton. I explained to him that I hadn't had chemo since 4th April and how I'd been feeling since the chemo and then I told him how the hospital had done a full blood count the day before. "Right well your results aren't here yet but they should have them Loraine, ideally I want those results before I make a decision as to what to do with you. Do you have a telephone number for the oncology unit that did your bloods?"
"Yes I do, I have rang them as well just because we've since done my temperature and it says on all my advice things that if my temp goes above 38 I've to ring"
"Okay you've done the right thing that's fine so what are they doing?"
"Well they are gonna refer my symptoms to their doctor and then ring me back".
"Right well give me that number and I will ring them for the results and I will make a decision as to what to do with you before I ring you back".
"Okay thanks Dr Langton"
"No problem Loraine you take it easy I'll get back to you as soon as I can".
"Thanks Dr Langton". I laid back on the settee feeling rough and Lee gave me a cuddle. Lee got up and got me a wheat bag putting it in the microwave and handing it to me "here put this on your stomach it might ease the pain slightly"
"Thanks. Can you get the hospital bag out of the boot I think I better check everything is there and be prepared to go in" I told him.
"Okay I'll go get it now" Mum appeared about ten minutes later and helped me sort out my bag for the hospital. We had just finished it when the phone rang.
"Loraine?"
"Yes"
"This is the oncology day case unit. I've had a word with the doctor we do want you to come in to ward 96, however at the minute we're waiting for a bed for you. What I've done is ask Ward 96 to ring you direct as soon as a bed becomes free, okay?"
"Okay yes that's fine. Is my blood count down then?"
"Yes your white cell count is really low and because your temperature is high we think its best we bring you in and get you on antibiotics, okay?"
"Okay, thanks". No sooner had I put the phone down then it rung again.
"Loraine its Doctor Langton here, I've been in touch with the hospital your white cell count is really low and what with that and your temperature we've made the decision that you should be admitted. Have they been in touch at all?"
"Yes about two seconds ago" I replied. "I'm sorry if you think I've messed you about what with ringing the hospital as well.."
"Loraine it is fine that is what we are here for I am just glad we have got you sorted out".
"Okay well thank you very much for sorting it out for me".
"You are welcome and I hope you're not waiting too long for a bed".
"Thank you Doctor Langton". The sickness seemed to settle but I popped another tablet as the pain was growing steadily worse.
Lee had just left to take my mum home around quarter past four when the phone rang. "Hello is Loraine there please?"
"Loraine speaking" I replied.
"Hi Loraine its Emily from ward 96 I'm just ringing to tell you there is a bed available on Ward 96 if you would like to make your way in and come to the desk you are in Room 15".
"Okay thank you"
"Do you need transport?"
"No my husband will be bringing me in its fine" I replied. I put the phone down and ran upstairs and got dressed. I was back downstairs and dressed just as Lee walked through the door. "The beds ready Lee" I told him as he came through the front door.
"Okay you best ring your mum she wanted to come with you"
"Yes but she's only just gone home she needs some tea first. I'll tell her to come up tomorrow".
"Okay I'll just get your bag in the car" I dialled my mums number.
"Mum they've rung its ready now,"
"Do you want me to come?"
"No you've only just got in leave it and come up tomorrow Lee can take me in".
"Okay love if you're sure"
"Yes I'm sure. I better go Lee's waiting"
"Okay love I'll speak to you later".
"Bye mum".
"Bye love take care".
"Right Lee I'm ready lets go".
We arrived on Ward 96 around five pm.
"Can we help?" One of the nurses looked up from behind the desk.
"Loraine McEvoy checking in" I replied.
"You're in room 15 Loraine, follow me!" So we trundled after the nurse to room 15. "If you want to make yourself comfortable Loraine the doctor should be in to see you shortly". I lay down on the bed waiting for the doctor to arrive and Lee examined the TV screen above my bed.
"You can buy bundles by the look of it so you can get telephone, TV, and films to watch its £20 for 3 days".
"That's a bit expensive if you're on a pension and you have no income" I frowned. Just as I said that a nurse came to do my blood pressure, temperature and heart rate.
"Mm your temperature is still high"
"What is it?"
"39.8" she replied. "Is your blood pressure normally low?" she queried.
"Yes its never gone high".
"Dr Jagdev is here to see you". Dr Jagdev gowned up and walked into the room.
"Hi Loraine"
"Hi"
"Sorry to see you back in under these conditions. How are you feeling?"
"The pain in my stomach and groin is pretty horrific but the sickness seems to have stopped, I've been very tired though and I'm still really hot".
"Well your temperature is up fairly high Loraine. When did the sickness start Loraine?"
"Last night about eleven"
"And when was the last time you opened your bowels?"
"The day before, it was really like water with lumps in though".
"Okay, can you lie down so I can feel your tummy?" I lay back but it hurt to move and I winced.
"Even lying down is sore?"
"Yes" She began to feel my stomach quite gently but it was like stroking a really sore bruise and every movement hurt and I winced".
"Your stomach is really tender Loraine so I'm going to send you for an x-ray"
"Okay".
"You definitely have some kind of infection so I'm gonna start you on a really strong IV anti-biotic Loraine that will go up as soon as you've been for your x-ray".
"Okay fine".
"Once we get a better picture of what's going on inside we'll know what we are dealing with. Your blood count did show that your white cells are low again, that probably happened after your last lot of chemotherapy so that will account for your tiredness. Have you had your CT scan yet?"
"No its actually tomorrow"
"Okay well we will make sure that you still have that CT scan tomorrow. I will see you later".
"Okay thanks".
The nurse came in next and tried to flush my PICC line so that she could put up the IV antibiotics.
"It can be a bit tricky" I forewarned her.
"In what way?"
"Well it flushes but sometimes it doesn't bleed back. The district nurses couldn't get it to flush on Wednesday but then I came into the day case unit on Oncology yesterday and they got it to work straight away". I told her.
"Ah okay, well lets just put a pillow under your arm and lift it up and we'll try again." So I did as i was told but again the line would not work. "I'm really sorry Loraine but we need to get these antibiotics into you as soon as possible so we're going to have to try and cannulate you so that we can get these working quickly, okay".
"This is going to hurt" I mumbled.
"I'll get Angie to do it for you she's really good" the nurse told me.
"With the greatest respect all of the oncology day case unit nurses tried to have a go and they're really good and they couldn't manage it. That's why I had to have a PICC line put in".
"Oh love I'm sorry but we have to give it a go".
"I know its fine". Angie appeared with a bowl of water in front of me and sat down. I looked across at Lee and mouthed "this is gonna hurt". (When you go onto the Oncology day case unit for treatment you are faced with walls lined with recliner chairs, at the side of each chair is a drip stand. Each patient who doesn't have a permanent line in, sits whilst a nurse carries through a bowl of steaming hot water your hands are placed in the water. This is supposed to get your veins to rise to the surface of the skin and make them easier to find. Then if they are lucky they find a vein insert a needle which leaves behind a cannula and hey presto you're hooked up to a drip with whatever treatment you are due). I placed my hands in the water and we waited.
"Don't look so worried" Angie told me. "I'm good at finding veins".
"That's what all the nurses on Oncology said until they had a dabble" I told her. "Either, you won't find one. Or you will find one and it will collapse in a few hours then I'll have to go through it all over again".
"Well all I can do is my best" Angie smiled. "Right take your hands on and put them on the towel". I did as I was told and she dried them gently looking at the left one first, then the right. "Ooh that looks like a good one" she said pointing to a vein in at the side of my wrist. "I'll give it a go".
"Okay" I took a deep breath and looked across at Lee maintaining eye contact as Angie entered with a needle "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" I chanted quietly.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine" I replied through gritted teeth. God it hurt, I think over time your veins must become more sensitive because every prod with that needle hurt like hell. I winced then the tears started.
"Sorry Loraine, that vein moved".
"You okay?" Lee asked and sat at the side of me.
"Sorry" I apologised, tears flowing. "It hurts".
"I know love" Lee gave me a cuddle. "Is this going to take long, you can see its hurting her?" Lee asked Angie.
"No, there we go its in, sorry Loraine" Angie apologised and began moping up the blood around my fingers then she dressed it to keep the cannula in place. "Right Loraine Amy will be in with your Antibiotics and some fluids in a minute okay?" I nodded still wincing from the pain. "Sorry I hurt you love". I managed a smile as Angie left the room then dissolved into tears in Lee's arms. The antibiotics and fluids were put up about half an hour later followed by some pain relief. When it got to quarter to eight Lee looked tired. I had the TV sorted above my bed and it was all operational.
"Why don't you get off?"
"I was hoping they'd have done the x-ray by now.."
"It'll happen probably later. You look knackered, and you haven't had anything to eat. Go home and get some sleep".
"Okay, okay", Lee replied. "You get some sleep as well".
"I will, I'll give you a ring before I go to sleep".
"Okay love you, bye xx" Lee left and I pulled the TV monitor closer and logged on to facebook but nothing was happening. So I switched on the TV Coronation Street was on, so I settled down to watch it. It was about ten minutes in when a porter turned up to take me for an x-ray.
"Mrs McEvoy?"
"That's me" I replied. "I can walk okay you know" I told the porter looking at the trolley he had with him.
"I couldn't find a chair love" He replied.
"Ah well I get to ride in comfort then and I'm just about ready for a nap. I just need to nip to the loo first though, is that okay?"
"Yes no problem love", I quickly jumped down off my bed and headed for the toilet and emptied my bag then I pulled on the dressing gown hanging up inside the bathroom door.
I lay on the trolley in the x-ray area waiting for my name to be called. It was bloody cold down here and I'd been put in a cubicle on my own, away from other people obviously awaiting x-rays as well. This worried me slightly had anyone been told I was here? I didn't have a watch and there was no clock to speak of but I was pretty sure I'd been sat there a good twenty minutes before I heard my name being called along the other end of the corridor.
"I'm down here" I called out.
"Mrs McEvoy?"
"Down here on a trolley" I called again. God I was frustrated I wanted to jump off the trolley and get out of the cubicle but my drip was attached to the trolley I lay on so I couldn't. It was then a dark haired man wearing a white uniform appeared at the bottom of the trolley. "Mrs McEvoy?" he enquired.
"That's right" I replied. "I didn't think you'd heard me".
"Yes sorry about that. I was expecting someone in a wheelchair not on a trolley".
"Apparently the porter couldn't find a wheelchair" I told him.
"Ah right, lets get you into x-ray". He pushed the trolley and manoeuvred me into the large x-ray room. "Can you get off the trolley okay on your own?"
"Yes no problem".
"Okay so I'll get the drip if you can just follow me over to the x-ray couch".
"Right" I walked slowly over to the x-ray couch and lay down putting my head on the pillow.
"So your consultant has asked for an x-ray of your abdomen including your bowel, okay?"
"Yes that's fine"
"Sorry Loraine I have to ask this, is there any chance you could be pregnant?"
"I've been sterilised and I had a hysterectomy when I had a cystectomy last year".
"Wow you've been through it then?"
"Just a bit" I replied.
"Right Loraine, I'm going to go behind the screen over there I'll ask you to breathe in, hold your breath and then breathe away, okay?"
"Okay".
"Loraine breathe in, hold your breath" I did as I was told but I always found this to be the hardest part because I felt like I was turning blue... "Breathe away" 'Phew' I let go and I felt so much better.
"Okay Loraine, you're all done just stay there and I'll come move the x-ray machine so you can sit up". As the machine was moved from above my head I pulled myself into a sitting position and waited.
The guy with the dark hair picked up the drip and carried it beside me over to the trolley. I climbed back onto the trolley and pulled the blanket back up over myself. It was definitely cold in here. He wheeled me back outside and put me back in the corridor. "I'll call for a porter but don't worry I'll let them know you're on a trolley and what cubicle you are in" he told me.
I don't know how long I'd been waiting but I know I was nodding off when I heard my name called.
"Over here!" I replied.
"Mrs McEvoy?"
"Over here!" I replied again, then to my relief I heard footsteps and saw a grey haired porter appear at the bottom of the trolley I lay on.
"Mrs McEvoy?" he enquired.
"Yes that's right" I replied.
"Lets get you back up to 96," he smiled. "You look tired".
"I am I feel like I've been down here for hours". I told him. I must have fallen asleep during the trip back up to the ward because I don't remember it at all.
"Do you know which room you're in?" the porter enquired.
"Yes room 15".
"Can you get off the trolley okay?"
"Yes no problem" I hopped off the trolley and onto my bed. "Thanks".
"No problem, you get a good nights sleep".
"Thanks". I pressed my buzzer and waited for a nurse to come, it was a ball ache not being allowed out my room it would be so much quicker to go and get a nurse myself.
"Hi Loraine, what can I do for you?"
"I want to go to sleep but I need a night bag stand for my urostomy is it possible you could find me one? I forgot to pack mine".
"Yes I'll go get you one. Your fluids need changing too so we'll get those sorted at the same time".
"Thanks". It was then I turned on the TV above the bed and noticed the time it was ten thirty, I'd been down in x-ray for ages, no wonder i was tired. I gave Lee a quick ring said goodnight and settled down to sleep whilst I waited for my night stand to arrive. My night bag and fluids arrived around midnight they woke me up to do my blood pressure and temperature at the same time. They were so considerate. NOT!.
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