20th April - CT confusion.

I slept quite well in the hospital bed it was surprising as I don't normally. This hospital bed was definitely different to those I've been in before though, a huge improvement.  I was woken by one of the nurses to take my temperature at five thirty, it was 39.8.  Unfortunately, it was going up instead of coming down not a good sign to be getting home. I reminded the nurse looking after me that I was due to have my CT scan that day.
"We'll get it sorted don't worry. They may change the time from the original one though".
"Okay". I settled back down to sleep for a while whilst awaiting breakfast it was far too early to be up.

Two doctors called in to see me around ten o'clock.
"We have looked at the x-ray that we took Mrs McEvoy and it looks like your bowel is blocked pretty high up so we want you to carry on having the Movical sachets that you have been prescribed but we want you to have these four times a day.  We also want you to have an Enema this will hopefully unblock your bowel along with a laxative that we would like you to have this morning, okay?"
"Can I wait until after I have my CT scan?"
"Why?"
"Well if I go down for my scan and I need to go to the toilet its going to be quite embarrassing" I told them.
"I'm sure they can arrange for you to go to the toilet" one of the doctors butted in.  Luckily my nurse  Amy stepped in. "There isn't any toilets near where the CT scan area is... I think Loraine would be better to wait and have these done when she gets back from CT".
"Well you could wait for the Enema but I think she should still have the laxative... how would you feel about that?" the doctor looked at me.
"Uncomfortable... I'd rather wait until after the CT scan" I replied.
"Okay, okay if that's how you feel we will let you wait until you come back from your CT scan".
"Thanks" I smiled.
"You are to go down for your CT scan at twelve fifteen, a porter will come and get you".
"Okay thanks. And when do you think I can go home?"
"Well obviously we need to get the blockage in your bowel sorted out so that your bowel is working properly before we let you go. Then we have to get your temperature down. We suspect this is high due to another urine infection. The high dose of IV antibiotics we are giving you through your drip should sort this out. As soon as your temperature is down and your bowel is normal we can let you go home".
"Okay thanks".  The doctors left and I gave Lee a ring.
"Hi"
"Morning, how did you sleep?"
"Not bad thanks. I've had some Weetabix this morning".
"That's great love".
"My CT scan is at twelve fifteen I will drink fluids up here and then when I go down I will go straight in for the scan so there's no need for you to be here for it. Just let mum and dad come for the visit at two o'clock and you come up tonight at six o'clock".
"Okay"..
 As I put down the phone Amy my nurse came in.
"Loraine, I'm due to change over your antibiotics now but before I do that do you want a shower or anything?"
"Oh I'd love one".
"Right well I'll take this one down and clamp it off then you can have a shower and we'll keep it down until you come back from your CT scan. They will have to take it down when you go for your scan anyway".
"Okay".
"Do you need anything for the shower?"
"Just a towel please I've got everything else with me".
"Okay I'll go get those for you".  Amy re-appeared with the towel five minutes later and I headed for the shower.  It was so nice to have a shower and wash my hair without any wires or anything it felt great. However, it was then I noticed through the steam in the bathroom mirror I was yellow!!  I mean I didn't look like Sponge bob or one of the Simpson's but I definitely had a yellowy tinge to my skin. That wasn't a good sign!!  I came out of the shower dried and dressed into my jogging bottoms and  a t-shirt a little worried, Amy brought me in a jug of water and I mentioned it to her.
"When you see the doctors again, mention it to them Loraine. But, honestly I can't see it Loraine".
"Okay".

The porter arrived for my CT scan just after twelve fifteen and took me down to the x-ray department and into the CT area.  From there I was shown straight in and asked to lie on the bed, which I did.
"I'm just going to flush your cannula and make sure its working Loraine, as you know we inject a small amount of dye for your CT scan so we just need to make sure the cannula you have in is working. When was it last used?"
"It was disconnected just before I had a shower at about ten this morning", I told him.
"I'm sorry Loraine but its not working, we're going to have to try and re site the cannula for you".
"Oh god" I whinged, knowing what trouble they would have doing that.
"Its either that or we can send you back up and they can try and re site it on the ward for you then send you back down when we have another slot free?"
"No its fine you can give it a go. I have bad veins that's the problem it hurt like hell getting that one in and took eight attempts".
"Well we'll get our doctor who's pretty good and get him to have a go". I lay there nervous as hell I just knew this was gonna hurt again. 'I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry' I kept repeating to myself.  Then the doctor appeared.  "So I hear you are pretty hard to get one of these into Loraine, is that right?" he asked me.
"Yep. It sometimes takes a while" i replied.
"Well I will do my best but if I'm hurting you tell me and I will stop and we'll send you back up to the ward and bring you back down once we have got another  cannula into you".
"Okay". I took a deep breath and waited for the ultimate statement.
"Right Loraine, sharp scratch", 'it hurt' I winced but took deep breaths to try and forget about the pain as he prodded and poked my arm trying to get the cannula in.  "Its in Loraine, you can relax" .
"Is it working?"
"Appears to be. Its in a bit of a tricky spot though so I'm going to make sure its secure so that they can use it back up on the ward for you as well".
"Thanks".  I looked and saw the cannula was in the crook of my right arm, a normal spot to take blood from but unusual to put a cannula in.  The doctor must have seen my look.
"I know its in a tricky spot but its the only one I could find I'm afraid Loraine so we have to go with it I'm afraid".
"That's fine at least they won't have to redo it when I get back up to the ward".
"Okay we're going to proceed with the scan but because of the spot the cannula is in we're going to inject the dye really slowly so it may take longer than it would normally, okay".
"Okay that's fine".  I closed my eyes ready to go into the huge polo mint, well that's what it looks like in my eyes anyway. Once it starts taking the pictures I imagine its pretty much like being in a washer on a spin cycle. It does feel a little claustrophobic, hence why I close my eyes during the procedure and keep them closed.  The CT scan was over within twenty minutes and I was wheeled back outside to the waiting area, however it was full so my wheelchair was taken to a totally different area and parked up, that was at one o'clock. At quarter to two I was still sat waiting. I went and checked with a nurse and was told there was just a back log. I checked with another and was told I hadn't been put down for collection and another who said I'd been marked as being collected already. So I headed to the reception desk. It was now nearly two and I was fuming I could have walked back up to the ward in this time. "I've been waiting over an hour for a porter to take me back to my ward can you ring up to the ward and see if they have any objection to me making my own way back please?"
"Well if a porter brought you down you really should wait" I got told.
"Yep I know I should but as I said I have been sitting there for over an hour waiting for a porter visiting starts at two o'clock and I have visitors coming and I would rather be up there than down here. So, please can you make the phone call?"
"OK I'll check?"
"Thanks" I was that mad I could feel tears brewing which was daft but I just wanted to be back up on the ward.
"Loraine, I've had a word and no they haven't any objection to you making your own way back up to the ward".
"Okay, thanks". I marched off in the direction of the lift, still fuming!!

"Hi mum, Hi dad," I gave them all a kiss.
"You okay?"
"I've been waiting for over an hour downstairs for a porter to bring me back up. I've never been so bloody angry!"
"Why?"
"Who knows, probably bloody forgot me, not bloody happy though. They had to put yet another cannula in hence the new decoration"  I said showing them my right arm. 
"Oh not again"
"Yep it had bent so they couldn't get the CT fluid to go through it so they had to put a new one in, AGAIN".
"You okay?"
"Yep I'm fine can't get any worse".
"You look tired" my mum added.
"Mm well its hard to get any sleep when they check you every two hours".
"Oh love" my mum came over in my direction.
"One cuddle!" I told her.  "No more just the one". I warned her and she laughed. I'm not a cuddly person and I really hate been slobbered all over but my mum can't seem to help it lately, then to my surprise my dad gave me a kiss as well. This was unheard of, well apart from on my wedding day, where I have a photograph of him doing just that. (Blackmail material lol).
"What are we going to do about Ross's birthday, do you think you'll still be in?" My dad asked.
"I think we'd better wait until I get the results of my CT scan dad, they should be back by Tuesday once we get those then we'll have more of an idea. But If I can be there I will be. I'd already bought my £70 dress after all and I'd never spent that much i my life".
"So what are they treating you for then?"
"Well the x-ray showed a blockage in my bowel, in other words I'm severely constipated and I'm on antibiotics to bring my temperature down as I've got some kind of infection. They do think I have a urine infection but that's nothing new is it? The CT scan results will tell us more when we get those back. But, until they get my temperature down they won't let me out of hospital".
"Hows the food?"
"How do you think?" I replied pulling a face my dad laughed. My mum sat just staring at me not really saying much I knew she was worried because I was back in hospital unfortunately I had a horrible feeling that the results of this CT scan would be different, lets hope I was wrong. 

It was quarter to four when Amy my nurse appeared. 
"Loraine we need to do your enema" she reminded me.
"Lovely, I am so looking forward to it" I smiled sarcastically
"Do you want me to come back after visiting?"
"Whens that?"
"It finishes at four o'clock and its quarter to now" I looked at mum and dad.
"We can go now its not a problem that way you can get it over with..."
"You don't mind?"
"No course we don't".
"Right I will leave you to say your goodbyes and then I'll come back with the stuff you need" Amy replied.
"Thanks Amy".  Mum came over first and gave me a hug.
"I love you"
"I love you too mum"
"I hope you get a good nights sleep"
"Yes me too". Dad came forward and gave me a cuddle, two kisses in one day certainly wasn't gong to happen lol,


Dinner arrived and looked positively disgusting I wasn't hungry anyway so therefore it didn't get eaten. I went on line to talk to Missy Moo whilst waiting for Lee to arrive.
"Hello, how are you?"
"I'm fine they're looking after me" I told her. "I'm so sorry I'm going to miss your charity night tomorrow" I apologised.
"Don't be daft, and lee could always come on your behalf"
"hey I never thought of that.... not sure if he would though",
"Well I can always ask him he's just logged on to facebook should I send him a message?"
"Yep do it that way if nothing else it gets him some guy time at the pub I think he needs it".
"Me too he's really worried about you"
"I know. He's due for visiting soon" I told her. "Its amazing how much you look forward to visits when you're staring at four walls all day".
"Have you got one of those tellies about your bed?"
"Yep they're bloody expensive though £20 gets you three days of TV, telephone, Internet and certain films too, not recent ones or anything but they're reasonable enough".
"Yeah dads was expensive when he was in he refused to pay it".
"I'd go stir crazy without it Sue in this room on my own with just the en suite for company".
"Yes I bet you would at least dad had the mad heads when he was in" she laughed. I laughed with her as I remembered back to when we had gone to visit him. (When her dad John, had gone into hospital we'd gone to visit him at the Bradford Royal Infirmary.  He was in a six bed ward with an empty bed and five occupied ones. One of the guys was an alcoholic  who had an infection in his leg. They'd put leeches on his leg and bandaged over the top of them he was supposed to be on bed rest.  However, that wasn't the case John told us the tale as we sat round his bed at visiting time. "Him in the end bed" he told us. "He's supposed to be on bed rest, cos he has blood poisoning and they have leeches on his leg eating away at the infection. He waits til the doctors have been and says he's off for a walk in the grounds, he goes down the bloody pub and doesn't come back til meal times. Then last night at visiting he waited until the nurses were in the middle of a shift change and said he was off for a ciggy cos he knew they wouldn't remember. He only pissed off down the pub and came back with some tinnys, and a bird on his arm. He pulled the curtains round said he didn't want to be disturbed. Got her to climb in through the window and she spent the bloody night with the, curtains pulled round and the lot. Didn't give a toss about us out here and believe me they were making some noise" John laughed. Tears rolled down our cheeks as he'd told the tale. We'd seen it with our own eyes during the visit later on when she'd appeared with the guy in the end bed they were both half cut and she did indeed go into his cubicle and pull the curtains round and then she got into bed with him. Sue and I couldn't believe our eyes). St James's certainly wasn't as interesting."

"Hi," Lee walked into my room and lent over and gave me a kiss.
"Hiya love. I was talking to Sue earlier"
"Yes she's asked me about the pie and peas thing?"
"Yes please will you go and give them the charity money. I can give you my card and you can draw it out and put it in an envelope for them and after all she's already paid for the tickets".
"It doesn't seem right with you in here darl. Well Jenna and Sam are coming to visit tomorrow night about seven anyway so they could come and visit me and you could go there. It will do you good to have some time with the lads and chill out for a bit. There's only so much we can talk about on a night and this way you can take the money for me and we will have something to talk about tomorrow night".
"Okay, are you sure?"
"I'm positive get her rang and tell her you'll be there" I insisted. So, Lee got on his mobile and rang Sue telling her he would be going for the Pie and Peas quiz night and that he would be taking the charity donation I was making. In case I haven't explained Sue works for Harden Pre-school in Harden its a nursery for two to five year old and its not government but actually charity funded. So they rely on charity fundraisers to get new toys equipment etc for the kids. When Sue had told me about how they needed to raise £300 and they were doing a pie and peas quiz night in order to do it. I'd told her I would give her the £300 out of my pension I'd received and then they could try and use the rest of the money they raised for something else. ... So Lee was taking along my £300 donation and they would hopefully raise some money on the quiz night which was £5 a ticket to get more things for the school.  She had been overjoyed and I'd been so looking forward to going and doing the quiz but instead I was stuck here. At least Lee would enjoy it though.
"Darl, here Sue wants a quick word?" Lee handed me his mobile.
"Hi Sue".
"I meant to tell you earlier on if we raise enough money, we're going to get a buddy bench for the garden made from wood, where the kids can sit and talk if they've had an argument or something. So they can work out their differences".
"Oh that's a good idea".
"Yep I thought so, I'll let you get back to your visit with Lee and talk to you later on, okay?"
"Okay Sue night love".  I'd just put the phone down when the registrar came in to the room.
"Hi Loraine, is it okay to have a word, we have your CT results back?"
"Yep of course it is please take a seat this is my husband Lee" I introduced her.
"I'm one of the registrars working with Dr Jagdevs team" she explained.  "What your scan results have shown is that the tumour that was near to your bowel is perhaps blocking your bowel and that's why you are having these pains. Has the pain settled down?" 
"It seems to have just now yes"
"Good. We need to get some more bloods off you later on but we'll probably do that after you've moved"
"Am I moving?"
"Oh haven't they told you?"
"Yes you're moving to ward 97 later today we're just waiting for a bed. You're going into a four bay room so you'll have company and Dr Jagdev should be round to discuss the results in more detail with you tomorrow".
"Okay".
"Do either of you have any questions?"
"No that's fine explains a lot though" I told her. "With regards to the pain and the vomiting".
Yes obviously if the bowel is blocked and you are eating then it has to find some way out and that's why you've been vomiting so much".
"Right okay". I smiled at her and she left the room.  I looked over at Lee "Well at least we know why I've been in pain".
"Yep you're in the right place now darl and they'll sort you out" Lee kissed my forehead.
"Yeah I hope so. Just my luck though getting moved, whats betting whoever they move me in with snores?" I laughed just what I need. "Listen you get off its half seven I'm knackered and I bet you've not eaten all day have you?"
"No I've not had much" he told me.
"Well you look knackered so go home get something to eat and have a bath".
"You don't mind?"
"No course I don't off you go" I gave him a big hug and we said our goodbyes.  I was flicking through the TV channels when a woman  came into my room. I'd seen her before when Dr Jagdev had done her rounds. "Mrs McEvoy?"
"Yes, that's me" I replied.
"Can I have a chat with you?"
"Yes course you can. Have your visitors gone?"
"Yes my husbands just left" I told her. 
"Oh right... let me explain first of all i work with Dr Jagdev and my colleague I believe came in earlier and gave you the results from your CT scan results. Is that right?"
"Yes she came in whilst Lee was here"
"And what did you understand from what she told you?"
"Well that, the tumour I have has moved and has nicked the bowel slightly and its possible that's whats causing the blockage in my bowel".
"Ah, right"  I took in the expression on her face then and I think at that point it hit me we hadn't taken in the full extent of what the other doctor had said.  "Can I get a chair?"
"Yes please" I nodded.
"With regards to the blockage whats actually happened is that the tumour that we thought had liquefied has,.... well its.... grown into a mass its left a tear at the top of your bowel".  I swallowed hard.  "Right".
"Now we also think part of the tumour is blocking your bowel causing it not to empty properly which is obviously an issue.  If the bowel gets blocked further there is a chance that the bowel could tear causing peritonitis, which could obviously kill you." That's when I began to cry silent tears streamed down my face.
"Are you okay?" I nodded. 
"So two general surgeons have been shown your ct scan and they are going to look at these now to see if there is an urgency with regards to operating tonight or this weekend or whether they want to take their time before a decision is made".
"Okay"
"I didn't want them to just turn up to see you without you knowing this information first that's why I've came to tell you. Is there anything I can do?" She asked me as the tears continued to fall.
"They were on about moving me into a four bed room on a different ward can I please request to stay I just... well... I don't want to be in a ward with more people at the moment?"
"I believe they are working on that now to try and keep you here Loraine"
"And, Can I get my husband to come back... I need to tell him... I don't want to do it over the phone?"
"Of course you can and I'll be at the nurses station in case you need to talk or ask any questions".
"Okay thanks", she left the room and I shakily dialled Lee's mobile number.  He answered on the forth ring.
"I'm on the motorway love I'll ring you back when I get home" he sounded flustered and I knew it was because he didn't like answering the phone whilst driving.
"I need you to come back" I told him between my tears.
"I can't hear you love, are you okay?"
"I need you to turn around, I need you to come back to the hospital please," and then I began to cry not able to hold it in any longer.
"I'm turning round now darl I'll be there in twenty minutes!"
"Okay thanks".  I put the phone down and as I did the phone above my bed began ringing I'd given my mum the number earlier and sure enough it was her on the phone. I couldn't speak to her I just couldn't" so I rejected the call and switched off the TV and hugging my knees to my chest I began to cry again. It was then Antonietta popped her head around the door"
"Loraine? I wasn't sure if it was you or not" Antonetta had looked after me on my previous hospital visits the last time being before we had gotten married.  "How did the wedding go?" she asked smiling and I began to cry again she came over and gave me a hug.  "Oh love, I take it wasn't good news?"
"No it wasn't".
"I was just coming in to tell you I'd be your named nurse for the evening. I take it you are the patient they were discussing as I came on duty and you're waiting for the general surgeons to come and see you?"
"That's right"
"Oh honey I'm so sorry. Does Lee know?"
"He's on his way back now. I have to tell him" I sobbed.
"Oh love I'm so, so sorry" just as she finished her sentence the door opened and there stood Lee.
"Loraine, whats wrong?" I held my arms out and onetta got up from the bed and said "if there's anything you guys need just let us know?" Lee rushed towards me. "What is it? Whats happened?"
"The CT results its worse than we thought" I began, "you'd better sit down.."