Sunday morning arrived and I had some weetabix and a cup of tea for breakfast and went back to sleep again.
"Loraine, we're gonna be moving you in the next half an hour to a two bed room on ward 97, so if you want to start packing your stuff up for us?" Amy asked as she came into my room an hour later.
"Okay yes no problem it shouldn't take long. Do you know what I do with the TV thingy because I've prepaid for three nights?" I asked her.
"Oh yes if you go onto the home screen there's an option on there for moving beds so you need to select that you're moving beds, when you get into your new ward you go onto the home screen again and select new bed and it should let you just carry on with your subscription."
"Okay thanks Amy".
Ward 97 looked okay it was a large ward but only had two beds opposite each other. One bed was occupied by a lady called Marjorie. Marjorie is scary to look at she resembles the witch I remember seeing in a book about Hansel and Gretel she has a long crooked nose and hairs on her chin. To top it off half an hour later she was snoring loudly. I tried making conversation that afternoon but it was like talking to a stone so I gave up in the end and put the telly on. After a couple of phonecalls visiting was re-arranged so mum and dad came up in the afternoon to see me. I've already spoken to Lee and he's knackered after the beer and quiz night so he's setting off from Sue's later on and going to pick Lorna up and bring her with him for evening visiting. Mum and dad appeared and once again mum came armed with food cheese and crackers this time, along with some apples. Lunch was vile.
"I'll try an apple" I took one of them off her.
"They're nice aren't they?" she asked smiling. To be fair she was right the apple was really juicy and quite nice. But it didn't feel like I was swallowing it properly.
"Sorry mum I just feel like its getting stuck in my throat. I'm gonna have to leave it?"
"Well is there anything else we can get you?"
"No I'm fine honestly. I feel a bit sick so I best leave it" I poured myself a drink of juice and swallowed it back. It still feels like the apples stuck though and its giving me heartburn. Dad asked me what the ladies name was opposite.
"Oh the witch thats Marjorie. She has a thing for rice krispies" I told him.
"What do you mean?"
"Well she sleeps, stares right through me, never utters a word and then goes to sleep, snores loudly and shouts about Rice Krispies.. whether she wants some or she's had some for breakfast I have no idea. Soon find out tomorrow morning". Dad laughed and mum looked puzzled. Their visit was cut short when dad realised he would have to pay an extra hours car parking if they stayed until four cos it had taken them a while to find a space so he wanted to leave in time to get back to the car before an extra hours parking was added on. I wasn't best impressed that he begrudged paying for carparking to visit me. However just after they left I vomitted what I'd eaten of the apple so it was probably just as well they left when they did. Vomitting bits of apple is not a nice process trust me it hurts like hell! I'm struggling with visits when it comes to Lee and Mum and Dad coming to be honest I see them every day so there's no conversation really cos I haven't done anything apart from lie on this bloody bed.
Lorna and Lee came tonight, Lee told me all about the quiz night and it showed that he'd had a good time and had relaxed a bit, exactly what I wanted him to get out of it. Sue had apparently made a speech about my donation but had broken down halfway through. He said one of the comittee members from the school charity had gotten up and finished the speech for her. I felt so sorry for her that must have been pretty hard. My illness had hit Sue hard we hadn't been friends for more than two years but we were close to each other. Lee told me that Sue was gonna come visit me on Monday night and I was really looking forward to seeing her. I squirmed as a pain shot through me and Lorna sat there with a worried expression on her face when she saw my face.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine the pains a bit bad though"
"Well we'll get a doctor for you then" Lorna suggested.
"Its sunday they don't come round on a sunday" I told her.
"Well let me have a word with one of the nurses and see if they can give you anything extra" she suggested.
"Okay if it makes you feel useful knock yourself out" I replied and managed a smile. Lee gave me a hug.
"I hate all this waiting around"
"I know. Me too at least you can go home at night. I'm sick of being stuck in here just sitting in limbo waiting for something to happen".
"Loraine, how bad is the pain at the minute if you were to score it between one and ten?"
"About an eight"
"And where abouts is it?" The nurse asked me.
"Abdomen and round my back in my kidneys. Do you have a heat pad at all?"
"I can get you one. Do you think it will help?"
"Well it has before I'd like to give it a try"
"I'll go get you one".
"Thanks".
The heatpad was brought over and I put it behind my back the heat helped more or less straight away.
"I've had a word with the doctors again Loraine, they want you to have a think again about a syringe driver. But meantime we're going to increase your pain medication so you can have a booster injection to take the pain away four hourly if you need one. okay?"
"Okay thanks".
"All you need to do is give us a buzz when you think you need one and we'll give you an injection and it should help you okay?"
"Okay thanks". Lorna and Lee were the last ones to leave the ward that night. Marjorie had begun the snoring and Rice krispies shouting out just before they left. They were both laughing and Lee told me to make sure she ordered them for breakfast the next morning.
Monday morning, and I've been told I'm moving again.... although pretty much in agreement with this move. Marjorie kept me awake all night snoring and calling out about bloody rice krispies again. I wasn't surprised when she ordered them for breakfast this morning.
"I'm still on ward 97 but I'm in the next room down on your left its a four bed room" I told Lee when I rang him to let him know where I was.
"So do you want me there ready for the doctors coming round?"
"Yes if you can I'd rather you be with me so I've got another pair of ears" I told him.
"What time then?"
"Best thing to do is ring them ask them what time they're expected and say you want to be here for a chat see what response you get?"
"Okay I'll give them a ring darl and then I'll ring you back".
"Okay thanks". All the beds in the room where I am are occupied I'll give you a brief run down. In bed one is Sadie, she's probably late seventies. She has cancer and its in her spine but its affecting her arms and she can't use them so she needs feeding, washing etc. She seems quite chirpy considering. In bed two we have Muriel I think she's probably early seventies she seems able to get up and about but again has some form of cancer. She's talked about her son so I guess thats her only visitor and she watches her TV a lot. She's not very talktative though. I'm in bed three and in bed four we have Jean she has told me she has terminal cancer too but they're making arrangements to discharge her home hopefully tomorrow. She's really looking forward to it I'm not sure how long she's been in. I've told them all today that i'm waiting to see surgeons regarding an operation, they all seemed surprised.
The phone above my bed rang and i answered it, it was Lee "It took me ages to get through darl, they said they're not sure if the surgical team are doing rounds today. But she says Dr Jagdev should be coming round so I'm going to get there for about ten thirty. That okay with you?"
"Yes thats fine love".
"Your mum and dad are going to come up and take over at two o'clock and then Sue will be coming to see you at nightime. I think I'll be coming back then as well".
"Thats great. Thanks Lee".
"Don't thank me. I'll see you soon, love you".
"Love you too".
Jean looked over at me "Was that your husband?"
"Yes he's coming in early in the hope we can get a date sorted out for my operation" I told her. "We've only been married since January".
"Aw thats nice. My husband died ten years ago, it was cancer took him as well" she told me.
"Sorry to hear that Jean" I sympathised.
"Its a long time ago now at least I know he'll be waiting for me when I go" she shed a tear and I got off my bed and gave her a hug.
"Its a shitty disease, isn't it Jean? I'm lucky Lee knew I was terminal when he proposed to me and still wanted to take me on".
"You must have a good one there".
"Yeah I think so. I met him on holiday you know it was a holiday romance and instead of bringing back a stick of rock I brought back Lee".
"Oh thats lovely a real mills and boon story" she smiled.
"Yep. I got a good one" I smiled. "Right, I'm off to get a wash and make myself look gorgeous before he turns up... well as gorgeous as I can look with hair that needs washing and pyjamas on that are too big" I laughed. "See you in a bit".
"Hi darl, hows you?"
"Nervous. I just want them to give me a date now, then we know whats happening and when I hate all this waiting around".
"Hows your pain?"
"Not great" just as I said that the house doctor on the ward I forget her name and my named nurse for the day turned up.
"So you didn't have a good night Loraine did you?" I looked at Lee and he scowled cos I hadn't told him.
"Nope not really the abdominal pain and pain in my back is pretty excruciating and seems to get worse on a night when i lie down to go to sleep".
"Loraine, we want to put a syringe driver up, just until we know we have your pain under control. It will give you a constant release. You've had one before you know how they work" she tried to persuade me.
"I'd rather not. You don't understand a syringe driver limits my independance. I have to hold it so only have on hand free. That means I can't go to the loo alone because I can't undo my stoma bag to empty it. I can't change my stoma bag on my own and I can't have a bloody shower or a bath cos its not allowed to get wet. No, no and final answer no".
"No its not like that. There is a bag you can put it in that goes over your shoulder freeing up your hands". She added again.
"I think you will find that there isn't one single syringe driver bag in this hospital I've had enough of them to know. You couldn't provide me with one before and unless a miracles happened nothings changed" I told her.
"Well I'm pretty sure" she frowned now and looked at the nurse.
"I'll check" the nurse said and she turned back to me again.
"If we could get you a bag would you let us put you on a syringe driver just until the pains under control?" she asked me.
"If you can get a bag fine I'll give it a go. But the minute I ask for it to be taken down... i want it down, okay?"
"Okay deal".
"You okay?" Lee asked.
"Just give me a hug!" I ordered and he squeezed me tightly. "If I get pissed off with it it comes down and you have to back me on this okay?"
"Okay love no problem you know I'll support you no matter what your decision is".
"Thanks". Half an hour later they turned up with a syringe driver and a makeshift bag made from some tubigrip... weird to look at and not quite long enough but it did the trick and freed my hands so I agreed to let them put some drugs in it and set it up. Once loaded it lasts twelve hours at a time before it needs loading up again. (Knowing my luck it would go off just during a change over on shift. The alarm on it drives you crackers!) "Okay all done we're gonna carry on with your fluids for now but we will know more later". the nurse told me as she set up the syringe driver.
"When are the surgical team coming about the operation?" I asked her.
"Mm we're not sure but we will chase it for you again now" she promised me.
"Well Lee's been here since ten its not fair we need to know sooner rather than later cos he needs some rest".
"I'll chase it for you now. You should find the pain gets easier but if it kicks in again let us know and we can give you a booster and rejig things okay?"
"Okay".
At two o'clock just as visting began the little doctor appeared at my the bottom of my bed.
"Um I'm afraid there's been a delay with the meeting there was an emergency the meeting was postponed it looks like its going to be tomorrow now" the house doctor told us.
"You're joking?" Lee looked at her not happy.
"Erm no I'm afraid not".
"Do you realise we've been waiting for a decision since Friday its not fair" he explained to her. "Loraine has enough going on without being stressed with delays and you lot again. The same thing happened when she was awaiting her first operation in 2010 and in the time it took them to make the decision it spread meaning she needed a hysterectomy as well as a partial bowel disection. We know its aggresive and we know Loraine's terminal but that shouldn't give you the oportunity to allow this cancer to grow and shorten her life even more".
"I do apologise but I can only go by what I've been told" She said looking at her feet. I felt a tad sorry for her as she was only the go between.
"Well I don't suppose its your fault" Lee said and sat down "Its just annoying all this waiting around. Will they definitely be round tomorrow?"
"As far as I'm aware it won't be delayed again". The doctor walked away and Lee gave me a hug. "Sorry but this is pathetic all this waiting about and then swapping and changing. "Are you okay if I get off for a bit get something to eat and I'll be back up tonight to see you?"
"No thats fine you get yourself off. You look knackered" I replied and gave him a hug. "If anything changes I'll ring you if not I'll see you at six. I love you".
"I love you too", Lee replied and gave me a hug.
Six o'clock visiting arrived and in with it came Sue copeman and her dad John it was so good to see them both. John gave me a grin and a big hug I hadn't expected him to come so it was nice surprise. I call John daddy number three. Number one is obviously my dad, number two is Lee's dad Barry and number three is John he looks out for me.
"I wasn't expecting you" I grinned
"Well you visited me I wanted to see what nutters you were in with?"
"Well yesterday you would have met Marjorie, snores loudly looks like a witch and kept shouting out Rice Krispies but this lot are just like having your grannies around its great. Not as entertaining as your ward was" I reminded him. Just as John sat down Lee appeared.
"Hiya darl sorry I'm late"
"Don't worry you've been here more than you've been away" I reminded him.
"Hiya sis" Lee greeted Sue with a hug and then shook hands with John, "Hi John".
"So are you alright?" Sue asked and I smiled.
"Yeah I'm fine just sick of all this waiting around waiting for them to make a bloody decision about this operation. I feel like i'm in limbo"
"You look rough" she said smiling.
"Cheers I can always count on you to cheer me up fatty" I said grinning and she grinned back.
"Oi skinny no need for the attitude" we laughed we were always poking fun at one another.
"I was just telling John that the most entertaining thing I've had all week is Marjorie with her rice krispies shouting thats as good as it gets not like when Sue and I visited John in Bradford General now that was entertainment". Lee hadn't heard the story of Johns in hospital stay and he was in stitches as he listened about the goings on.
John had needed surgery on his veins in his leg due to this diabetes and he'd been in hospital for about a week when Sue and I had gone to visit him during one of my weekend visits over to her house. It had been rather funny as he was in a four bed room and one of the fellas in with him was an alchoholic who had an infection in his leg and was having treatment via leeches being placed on his leg and bandaged around it. He was there on a morning and then would disappear either to the off licence for some beer or to the pub for the afternoon. Without the nursing staff even noticing then he'd come back intoxicated and snored loudly on his bed til teatime. He would go walkabout when the nightshift changed over so that none of them really noticed him disappearing then he would come back in pissed as a fart and open the window for his girfriend to climb in then she'd get in bed with him after he'd pulled the curtains round and winked at his fellow patients. This would be followed by very noisy sexy again that none of the staff noticed. Although John and his three comrades had to put up with. One of the mornings he'd been caught and she'd been barred from visiting but the following night she was back again. John and his fellow comrades were totally gobsmacked at his cheek. They appeared whilst we were visiting both pissed and him holding a carrier with some special brew in. She asked one of the lads to use his mobile and he willingly handed it over to her, she was on it ranting and raving down the phone at some poor bugger for over half an hour. Sue and I sat their in stitches who needed TV this was great. Oh to live in Bradford! Visiting was definitely a more cheerful episode that night. Sue was really quiet though and kept on glancing at me with a concerned expression every time she thought I wasn't looking. Lee and John chatted away and I stared at her.
"You're quiet"
"Are you eating?"
"Nope, no appetite and the grub in here is terrible".
"Well I brought you chocolate" she grinned. "Put it in your locker maybe you'll fancy it later".
"Okay I will thanks Sue".
"You will take care won't you?"
"Yes I will. I am. Just wish they'd come tell me when the operations gonna be then I can focus on the future I feel like I'm in limbo. But I should know tomorrow for definate. They've promised me this time. I'm putting a complaint in if they don't show tomorrow".
"I don't blame you and if you don't I will" she assured me.
"Thanks Sue".
"You're welcome. Give us a hug and when you get out of here you can come to mine to recuperate I'd love to have you".
"Sounds lovely. You know I love your place its so peaceful". I can't believe that visit passed as fast as it did but it perhaps had something to do with having something to talk about finally. John had kept us all entertained with tales of his hospital stay. I hadn't laughed so much in ages. It has concerned me how quiet Sue was though. Lee stayed while Sue and John left.
"You're smiling"
"I know, it was good to see them both. Maybe I'd be better off in Bradford General, more entertaining".
"I can't believe all that was true" Lee said looking at me.
"It is believe me I couldn't believe how rough they were" I grinned.
"Well at least you won't have Marjorie shouting about Rice Krispies tonight".
"Yes I suppose you're right".
"Hows the syringe driver doing for you?"
"Bloody in the way" I replied smiling.
"Hows your pain?"
"Better, so I guess its working" I replied.
"Right I will see you tomorrow. I'll aim on coming for two o'clock at normal visiting unless I get a phonecall otherwise to come earlier. So speak to whatever nurse you have tomorrow. Explain we want to be there to talk to the surgical team about the operation and ask if we have to come in early can someone give us a ring?"
"Yes okay I will".
"Night then sleep well"
"Night Lee" I gave him a kiss and watched him walk off the ward.
"He seems nice your husband"
"He is" I told Jean. "A lovely man".
"Enjoy whatever you have left together" Jean told me smiling.
"I intend to Jean. If they don't come and see me about this operation tomorrow I'm bloody discharging myself sick to death of waiting".
"You still haven't heard anything?"
"Nope but I guess no news is good news?"
"Aye perhaps you're right love" she replied and I lay down in my bed waiting to fall asleep.
Saturday 23 June 2012
20th April - 21st April - Operation oh god!
"Its getting late" I wiped my tears looking up at Lee.
"Yes but I think we should wait to I can see the surgeons with you.".
"I know that love but it could be the early hours of the morning before they turn up and that multi-storey car park shuts early. You don't want to get stranded and not be able to get out".
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"I might have another wobble but I'll manage, go on you look knackered go. Can you call in and tell my mum and dad for me. I'd rather they heard it face to face.
"Okay I'll call in at the club to see your dad and then we can both go tell your mum".
"Thanks".
Antonietta called in to see me as Lee left. "Do you want me to give you something to perhaps help you sleep tonight Loraine?"
"Yes I'd like that I think I'll need something" as soon as the words left my mouth I began to cry again.
"Aw Loraine, come here" Antonietta put her arms round me and pulled me into a hug. "I don't know what to say love, Cancer just stinks doesn't it?" I nodded through my tears. "Do you think there is any way they would let me stay on this ward tonight Antonietta there's no way I can face sharing a room at the minute."
" Don't worry I've been on to the bed manager and I've explained you're really distressed and that i think we should keep you here tonight. She's not an ogre and understands why, she's doing her best to make it so you can stay here as well."
"Thank you so much."
"Hey its okay hows Lee handling the fact that its back"
"Well outwardly he's just saying don't worry love its just more chemo or surgery you'll get through this. Problem is Antonietta I don't think I could cope with more surgery and possibly another bag.."
"Lets just take one step at a time and see what the surgeons say". There was a knock on the door at that point and two men wearing scrubs stood in the doorway.
"Loraine McEvoy?"
"That's me!" I replied.
"We haven't met before. But we've been asked to take a look at your CT scan and the options of surgery." My eyes filled with tears I couldn't help it the thought of another op scared me more than dying. Antonietta made her excuses and left the room to leave us to talk.
"Can I just stop you there," The man stopped speaking and looked at me.
"If I said game over and that I didn't want any surgery what would you say?"
"I would say think again. The surgery will give you longer and to be honest we don't have any option. This isn't optional surgery..."
"I don't understand"
"Okay what do you know of the spread and how the tumour stands just now?"
"I've been told that its grown into a mass and has blocked off part of my bowel causing and obstruction and has also torn it slightly leaving me with the chance of contracting peritonitis which will mean game over anyway?"
"Ah right" he cast a look at his colleague and then looked back at me. "That's not entirely the whole story. It hasn't just stopped at your bowel you see its grown behind your bowel Loraine its made contact with your stoma, if I'm right you've been getting lots of pain when you change your bags and press on the site where your stoma is situated, is that right?"
"Yes"
"And the reason why you've been getting so many urine infections is that we suspect you right urethra tube has also become involved with the cancer and possibly the right kidney too." Tears began to fall again. "I hear you are newly married so we need to get you well again so we can give you a little longer with your husband, okay?" I nodded and listened.
"And when will that be?"
"Well if you were at deaths door we would have been talking taking you into theatre tonight. But, you're not so we're possibly looking at next week. We need to reconstruct your stoma again, who did your original surgery?"
"It was at Pinderfields hospital in Wakefield by Mr Chalhal"
"Right so we need to find you a Urologist from here or see if Mr Chalhal is willing to come here to do the surgery. It will be pretty much the same as your last operation I imagine there will be two surgeons from general surgery and two surgeons from the urology side to do the stoma reconstruction it will be a long complicated operation but I'm sure it can be done" he assured me. "There will be a big meeting held tomorrow at which point your case will be discussed and decisions will me made and then we will come back to you with the dates of your surgery."
"Okay thanks". And that was it he was really reassuring and I felt quite upbeat about it all when he left. I rang Lee to ask about how it had gone with mum and dad and briefly spoke to them then I told him what the surgeons had said.
"As much as I'm dreading it, it gives us hope and possibly the chance of a little bit longer with each other although I'll probably be off my feet for a few months afterwards".
"Well its better than nothing. We'll come in tomorrow for Dr Jagdev's rounds in the morning I had a word and the registrar said it wouldn't be a problem and understood we would have questions she said to come in around ten o'clock but if anything changes let me know".
"Okay love I will night and sleep well". I'd just put the phone down when Antonietta re-appeared to do my new fluids.
"Where they nice what did they have to say?" she asked me.
"Well it looks like I'm having surgery from what they've said I don't have any options left but its not an emergency yet unless peritonitis kicks in. They can't give me an exact date just yet but will know more after a meeting that should be happening tomorrow morning. Will Dr Jagdev be able to tell me more tomorrow on rounds?"
"I Imagine so she will be at the meeting so may know more".
"The registrar said it would be okay for Lee and my parents to come in during rounds tomorrow so they could put any questions to Dr Jagdev, so I just wanted to check if this was okay with you?"
"Of course they can, that will be fine I'll square it with ward sister in the morning."
"Great thanks".
"Right I'll go get your fluids and your antibiotics and I'll be right back".
"There may be a problem" I told her.
"Whats that?"
"I appear to have sprung a leak" I showed her my hand.
"Yes you have your cannula needs re-siting so I best find a doctor first."
"Could we delay it by ten minutes so I can have a shower beforehand and get ready for bed?"
"Yes, two minutes" she disappeared and brought back some towels. "You're not moving beds I just found out so you're here for the night as soon as you get out the shower though I need you to beep me and I'll get a doctor to redo the cannula".
"Can't you do it?"
"Well I can give it a go if that's what you want. I just don't want to hurt you."
"Trust me you can't be any worse than some of the idiots I've had."
"Okay i will give it a go you go have your shower". She said disconnecting me from the drip stand. I took my time in the shower contemplating the thought of yet another operation and them redoing my stoma. It was a scary thought. My time in Pinderfields in 2010 hadn't been plain sailing and I'd hated being in hospital away from everyone. But, I guess they knew best and it needed to be done. At least Lee and Mum and dad would be here for ward rounds in the morning maybe seeing Dr Jagdev and her team would give me more information.
Antonietta actually re sited my cannula without too much pain I was pleasantly surprised she brought with her two sleeping tablets and I took them in the hope they would knock me out. The last thing I needed was time to think.
Lee turned up the next morning with Mum and Dad in tow ready for the medical team coming round. There were quite a few tears shed from my mum, and my dads eyes filled up a few times. I was examined when Dr Jagdev came round then she asked me what the surgeons had said the night before.
"Well they said I have no choice that they will have to carry out an operation as my stoma is blocked and it needs to be re-sited away from the cancer in order for it to drain as normal" I told her.
"Well what's going to happen is there will be a meeting regarding your case involving all the surgical teams needed on Monday morning a decision will then be made with regards to surgery and when it takes place and what it will involve. We will then come and see you and advise you what has been decided. Do you have any questions?" she asked my mum and dad.
"I thought the meeting was taking place today?" My mum and dad asked.
"The general surgeons aren't in today. The on call team that saw Loraine yesterday had forgotten it was Friday and that the meeting wouldn't happen on a Saturday, I'm sorry".
"Is there a risk with the surgery that we could loose Loraine?" Dad asked.
"Yes there's a risk with any surgery and obviously with the spread of the cancer and the fact that Loraine's cancer has proven to be so aggressive gives a bigger risk to life. But if we don't operate we don't have any other options. We gave Loraine the strongest chemotherapy that we had and unfortunately instead of helping Loraine's tumours and shrinking them they have metastasised and exploded into a greater mass."
"Can I have this PICC line taken out and a new one putting in? They're having to canulate me because its blocked and its been re sited ten times since Thursday and trust me when you don't have any veins it bloody hurts" I moaned.
"Yes we can arrange for that to be done later this afternoon for you Loraine. Then we will look at putting a new one in prior to surgery".
"Okay thanks".
"Right we will be back to see you on Monday, okay?"
"Okay thanks".
Well we had all the answers the only option was surgery and even that wasn't guaranteed. Lee gave me a cuddle when Dr Jagdev left and mum sat on the bed.
"You'll get through this"
"I know" I smiled at her. "Don't worry. But, you best be making tracks if you're coming back to visit later, otherwise you'll have no time".
"Yes okay."
"And so you know, Lee is going to the charity quiz thing that Sue has arranged tonight and he's stopping over. He needs to go because Sue needs the money I'm donating to the kids and I'm glad he's going so he needs a break".
"Oh okay", mum looked unsure.
"So no giving him a hard time because I've asked him to go. You and dad are coming this afternoon which means Lee can get off and Jenna's coming up later with Sam so visits are sorted out".
"Okay, anything you fancy us bringing later?"
"No mum I'm fine. oh actually maybe some more magazines or puzzle things would be good I'm getting a tad bored again".
"Okay love" she gave me a kiss and walked to the door.
"You have a good time" I told Lee "and tell everyone I wish I could be there and I'm sorry I wasn't okay?" My eyes filled with tears cos I really did envy him being able to go. Lee looked at me concerned and cupped my face.
"I won't go if its going to upset you not being there..."
"You bloody will Sue's relying on that money. Which reminds me I'll walk you down to the cash point and draw out the money I haven't given you it yet".
"Well I was gonna get you to write a cheque cos I brought the cheque book for you"
"No I promised cash and cash it will be, come on help me into my dressing gown".
"Okay love". I walked them all to the lift drip stand in tow and headed to the cashpoint. Lee handed me my bank cards and I handed him the cash. Stupid cashpoint would only let me take £250 though so I had to take the money out of two seperate bank accounts. I gave Lee an extra £50.
"Whats that for?"
"To make sure you have a good time and buy a few drinks for Sue and Nick etc" I owe them big style. Lee gave me a hug and a kiss. I said bye to mum and dad and headed to the shop to see if I could tempt myself with anything. I bought a bar of dairy milk and headed back to the lift and back to my room. I rang Sue when I got back to the room and told her I'd given Lee the money for the charity auction and told her how sorry I was not to be going.
"You just get better Mrs McEvoy and I'll come see you real soon. Thanks again for the donation they are overwhelmed at the school especially since they know what you're going through".
"Tell them I'm still human and know a good cause when I see one and to spend it wisely".
"I will".
"And make sure Lee lets his hair down and enjoys himself".
"I will Nick and dad will be there to look after him along with Simon and Kim".
"Okay I will say goodbye cos I fancy a nap before visiting starts again".
"Alright bye friend"
"Bye".
"Loraine? Loraine?" The Scottish voice woke me up and I half expected seeing one of my relatives at the bottom of my hospital bed. Instead it was one of the doctors I'd seen on rounds with Dr Jagdev on Saturday.
"I've been assigned to remove your PICC line for you. Its not working anymore is that right?"
"Um yes that's right".
"Okay well I'll just go and get some bits and pieces then I'll be back"
"Okay thanks".
He looked quite nervous as he began pulling on the wire, I felt a tugging sensation and looked away but it didn't hurt it just felt really weird. Within seconds it was done, I couldn't believe the length of the wire that had been sitting inside me since October it was double my arm length almost. The doctor taking it out told me his name and I'm sure it was something Scottish but for the life in me I cannot remember his name.
"Right all done Loraine, just press on there for me a minute you're bleeding slightly I'll just stick the gauze over it and when it stops you can take it off".
"Okay thanks".
"They are gonna schedule for a new one putting in either Monday or Tuesday next week and that should make things easier for you then. I take it you have no veins?"
"Nope they've had to re site the cannula about ten times so far cos my veins keep collapsing. Its bloody painful when you don't have any".
"I bet. Right I better get on see you later". My arm felt a bit tender but it was okay I curled up on my bed and went back for another snooze still feeling tired.
I was surprised when Leona and Jo turned up this afternoon along with my mum and dad I hadn't known Jo was coming but it was nice to see her. We had a good catch up and I told her all about the forthcoming operation and how I wasn't entirely happy about the idea.
"You're bound to be scared Loraine, but if its your only chance, you have to take it love"
"I know. Just dreading it especially if its as bad as it was last time. At least I know what to expect though right?" Mum and dad sat looking lost at the corner of the room. Leona tried to engage them in conversation but I could see she was having a hard time.
"We're gonna go down for a coffee can I get you anything?" Mum asked us all.
"No I'm fine. Are you bored?" I asked her, she looked at me.
"No I just thought we should let you talk with your friends and we'll come back up for the second hour of visiting".
"Oh right. Well yes if you don't mind?"
"Well your dad wants a coffee so I'll go with him. Shall I bring you back anything?"
"No I'm fine honestly".
"Okay give us a kiss and we'll see you soon" Mum said leaning over and giving me a kiss. Dad bent over as far as his belly would allow and gave me a hug.
"Bye Leona, bye Jo see you in a bit" they waved and left.
"Sorry I didn't know you were coming" I apologised to Leona and Jo if I had I'd have re-arranged my mum and dads visit".
"Its okay don't worry about it. We could have gone for a walk though I should have thought"
"No its fine honestly".
"So how are the kids?"
"I haven't seen them yet but apparently Logan's really worried and wants to see me. I just want to get a good day before he comes up. So perhaps Tuesday he'll come with Lee. Jenna's coming to see me with Sam later on tonight".
"Oh is this the new boyfriend then?"
"Yep he's not her type, very shy and reserved and well just not her type. If you have a look on face book you will recognise him he was in CSC whilst you and I were there on Jo Jeffries team I definitely know the face".
"Oh right I'll have a nosey when I get a minute on Ashleigh's face book"
"I forgot you don't have an account. I'll pull it up now" I went onto the Internet opened my face book page and looked up Sam and then showed Jo the picture.
"Yep I know who you mean. Definitely not Jenna's type"
"Exactly" I agreed. I won't give it long though. Don't get me wrong he's really good to her I just think Jenna will get bored cos he's nice".
"You never know he might settle her down" Leona chipped in.
"God I can but hope Leona, but I doubt it". It was nice to see them again I hadn't seen them since our wedding in January. I missed Jo we didn't see so much of each other now cos she was always working stupid shift times. We'd had a really good natter and catch up when mum and dad re-appeared.
"I bought you some muffins" Mum handed me over a pack of five mini muffins from Costa coffee.
"I said I didn't want anything" I told her.
"Well I thought I might be able to tempt you. Save them for later if you don't want them now".
"Okay thanks mum".
"The rains really bad outside love and I'm not keen on driving when its so heavy so we might get off earlier if that's okay with you?" Dad said just after Jo and Leona had said their goodbyes and left.
"Yes okay".
"We can stay if you want?" Mum chipped in scowling at my dad.
"No its fine. I know dads not keen on driving when its raining its fine seriously you get yourselves off. I'm sure I'll find something to amuse myself with".
"If you're sure?"
"Yes I'm sure we can talk later".
"Okay bye then" she lent over and hugged me followed by my dad and then they were gone.
"Hiya did you arrive okay?" I asked Lee as he answered the phone it was just after seven and he'd promised he would ring when he got to Sue's as we had a habit of getting lost on the way there. Although we could find our way home no problem lol.
"Oh shit I didn't call you, sorry love"
"I'll let you off I was worried though as we always get lost going to Sue's and you promised you'd call".
"Sorry I was late getting to Sue's and then I got hooked up talking to John when I walked in I completely forgot".
"Hmm out of sight out of mind" there was silence on the other end. "I'm only joking" I laughed. "Just say hi make sure you give Sue the money and have a bloody good time. I'll ring you about ten to say night if that's okay".
"Of course it is. I'll make sure Sue's available to talk to you then as well her and Nick are running round like headless chickens trying to sort the quiz out it should have started fifteen minutes ago but some of the teams haven't turned up yet."
"Well you better get yourself sat down and try hard then" I laughed.
"I'll do my best. I'm on the team with Celia, John, Nick, Kim and Simon so we should do okay between us".
"Good luck then talk to you later" we blew each other a kiss and hung up.
"Sorry about that" I apologised to Jenna and Sam who had walked in during my phone call to Lee. "He said he'd call and he didn't I was worried he'd got lost again".
"Its fine I got you these, gran said you mentioned you fancied some" she handed me over a box of Liquorice Allsorts.
"Aw thanks love" I gave her a kiss and a hug.
"So are you okay Sam?" I asked him. He looked like a little nervous kitten sitting on the chair at the side of my bed.
"Yes I'm fine Loraine thanks".
"So whats the news?" Jenna asked me. "Gran said they're gonna operate?"
"Yep just waiting for a date. The tumours behind my stoma so they need to unblock it otherwise I could go into renal failure". she looked puzzled.
"My kidneys could pack up" I re-phrased it for her.
"Oh right, that's not good".
"No, which is why they have to operate. So I'm just waiting for a date. They should be coming back to me on Monday with a date then we will know more. By this time I was munching my way through the box of sweets. It was then I remembered my manners and offered some to Jenna and Sam. Jenna took some but Sam didn't.
"Was there anything else we could have brought you?"
"No honestly I'm fine. Its just boring sitting here in these four walls. If it wasn't for this TV and Internet thing above my bed I'd go crazy. It costs a bloody fortune to use it though".
"Why how much is it?"
"Twenty quid for three days. So its already cost me forty quid".
"Bloody hell that's a bit steep"
"I know".
"Have you seen what Sam's bought me?" Jenna pulled out a laptop.
"You are joking?" it was gorgeous and not cheap. "Sam you need to stop spoiling her" I warned him. "She will walk all over you if you let her" I added.
"MUM" Jenna chastised me smiling.
"Its true. And all this going for McDonald's at stupid times of day and night cos her ladyship wants one has got to stop. You tell her no".
"I don't mind" Sam told me. "And her laptop was broken she needed a new one and I could afford it".
"Well get her to do all your washing and clean your flat and make you some meals to compensate" I told him. Jenna frowned at me "Don't take advantage of this poor defenceless man" I warned her and she smiled. "One day he will tell you where to go if you do and you will loose the best thing that's happened to you for a long time".
"I won't" she promised but she smiled and looked at me from under her long eyelashes with a knowing glint in her eye. Both she and I knew if she clicked her fingers Sam would go running. She just had the gift for making blokes fall at her feet. I didn't agree with it but there was nothing I could do to change her unfortunately. It was Sam I felt sorry for he was inexperienced with women Jenna was his first girlfriend and he was smitten. There wasn't a chance of him growing a backbone and dumping her but unfortunately I could see it happening the other way round and sooner rather than later because if Jenna gets what she wants she gets bored eventually and moves on. I have no idea where she gets it from. I was never that confident with guys and certainly never got what I wanted. In one way I admire my daughter because of her confidence with the opposite sex in another way I worry about her getting a reputation for being a bit of a man eater. Sam hardly said a word through the visit just smiled and chuckled a bit now and then. He was definitely nervous around me maybe cos I said it how it was with regards to Jenna. Unfortunately I didn't see the relationship lasting he was too nice, too reliable, and had no bad habits... not Jenna's type she went for bad boys a bit like I did at her age and Sam fit none of that criteria. It was after eight before they both left I'd been glad of their company but I was a bit tired now. I went in search of a nurse to unhook me from my drip so I could get ready for bed. It was just after nine when I got into bed in my pyjamas and settled down for the night. I completely forgot about ringing Lee at ten.
"Yes but I think we should wait to I can see the surgeons with you.".
"I know that love but it could be the early hours of the morning before they turn up and that multi-storey car park shuts early. You don't want to get stranded and not be able to get out".
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"I might have another wobble but I'll manage, go on you look knackered go. Can you call in and tell my mum and dad for me. I'd rather they heard it face to face.
"Okay I'll call in at the club to see your dad and then we can both go tell your mum".
"Thanks".
Antonietta called in to see me as Lee left. "Do you want me to give you something to perhaps help you sleep tonight Loraine?"
"Yes I'd like that I think I'll need something" as soon as the words left my mouth I began to cry again.
"Aw Loraine, come here" Antonietta put her arms round me and pulled me into a hug. "I don't know what to say love, Cancer just stinks doesn't it?" I nodded through my tears. "Do you think there is any way they would let me stay on this ward tonight Antonietta there's no way I can face sharing a room at the minute."
" Don't worry I've been on to the bed manager and I've explained you're really distressed and that i think we should keep you here tonight. She's not an ogre and understands why, she's doing her best to make it so you can stay here as well."
"Thank you so much."
"Hey its okay hows Lee handling the fact that its back"
"Well outwardly he's just saying don't worry love its just more chemo or surgery you'll get through this. Problem is Antonietta I don't think I could cope with more surgery and possibly another bag.."
"Lets just take one step at a time and see what the surgeons say". There was a knock on the door at that point and two men wearing scrubs stood in the doorway.
"Loraine McEvoy?"
"That's me!" I replied.
"We haven't met before. But we've been asked to take a look at your CT scan and the options of surgery." My eyes filled with tears I couldn't help it the thought of another op scared me more than dying. Antonietta made her excuses and left the room to leave us to talk.
"Can I just stop you there," The man stopped speaking and looked at me.
"If I said game over and that I didn't want any surgery what would you say?"
"I would say think again. The surgery will give you longer and to be honest we don't have any option. This isn't optional surgery..."
"I don't understand"
"Okay what do you know of the spread and how the tumour stands just now?"
"I've been told that its grown into a mass and has blocked off part of my bowel causing and obstruction and has also torn it slightly leaving me with the chance of contracting peritonitis which will mean game over anyway?"
"Ah right" he cast a look at his colleague and then looked back at me. "That's not entirely the whole story. It hasn't just stopped at your bowel you see its grown behind your bowel Loraine its made contact with your stoma, if I'm right you've been getting lots of pain when you change your bags and press on the site where your stoma is situated, is that right?"
"Yes"
"And the reason why you've been getting so many urine infections is that we suspect you right urethra tube has also become involved with the cancer and possibly the right kidney too." Tears began to fall again. "I hear you are newly married so we need to get you well again so we can give you a little longer with your husband, okay?" I nodded and listened.
"And when will that be?"
"Well if you were at deaths door we would have been talking taking you into theatre tonight. But, you're not so we're possibly looking at next week. We need to reconstruct your stoma again, who did your original surgery?"
"It was at Pinderfields hospital in Wakefield by Mr Chalhal"
"Right so we need to find you a Urologist from here or see if Mr Chalhal is willing to come here to do the surgery. It will be pretty much the same as your last operation I imagine there will be two surgeons from general surgery and two surgeons from the urology side to do the stoma reconstruction it will be a long complicated operation but I'm sure it can be done" he assured me. "There will be a big meeting held tomorrow at which point your case will be discussed and decisions will me made and then we will come back to you with the dates of your surgery."
"Okay thanks". And that was it he was really reassuring and I felt quite upbeat about it all when he left. I rang Lee to ask about how it had gone with mum and dad and briefly spoke to them then I told him what the surgeons had said.
"As much as I'm dreading it, it gives us hope and possibly the chance of a little bit longer with each other although I'll probably be off my feet for a few months afterwards".
"Well its better than nothing. We'll come in tomorrow for Dr Jagdev's rounds in the morning I had a word and the registrar said it wouldn't be a problem and understood we would have questions she said to come in around ten o'clock but if anything changes let me know".
"Okay love I will night and sleep well". I'd just put the phone down when Antonietta re-appeared to do my new fluids.
"Where they nice what did they have to say?" she asked me.
"Well it looks like I'm having surgery from what they've said I don't have any options left but its not an emergency yet unless peritonitis kicks in. They can't give me an exact date just yet but will know more after a meeting that should be happening tomorrow morning. Will Dr Jagdev be able to tell me more tomorrow on rounds?"
"I Imagine so she will be at the meeting so may know more".
"The registrar said it would be okay for Lee and my parents to come in during rounds tomorrow so they could put any questions to Dr Jagdev, so I just wanted to check if this was okay with you?"
"Of course they can, that will be fine I'll square it with ward sister in the morning."
"Great thanks".
"Right I'll go get your fluids and your antibiotics and I'll be right back".
"There may be a problem" I told her.
"Whats that?"
"I appear to have sprung a leak" I showed her my hand.
"Yes you have your cannula needs re-siting so I best find a doctor first."
"Could we delay it by ten minutes so I can have a shower beforehand and get ready for bed?"
"Yes, two minutes" she disappeared and brought back some towels. "You're not moving beds I just found out so you're here for the night as soon as you get out the shower though I need you to beep me and I'll get a doctor to redo the cannula".
"Can't you do it?"
"Well I can give it a go if that's what you want. I just don't want to hurt you."
"Trust me you can't be any worse than some of the idiots I've had."
"Okay i will give it a go you go have your shower". She said disconnecting me from the drip stand. I took my time in the shower contemplating the thought of yet another operation and them redoing my stoma. It was a scary thought. My time in Pinderfields in 2010 hadn't been plain sailing and I'd hated being in hospital away from everyone. But, I guess they knew best and it needed to be done. At least Lee and Mum and dad would be here for ward rounds in the morning maybe seeing Dr Jagdev and her team would give me more information.
Antonietta actually re sited my cannula without too much pain I was pleasantly surprised she brought with her two sleeping tablets and I took them in the hope they would knock me out. The last thing I needed was time to think.
Lee turned up the next morning with Mum and Dad in tow ready for the medical team coming round. There were quite a few tears shed from my mum, and my dads eyes filled up a few times. I was examined when Dr Jagdev came round then she asked me what the surgeons had said the night before.
"Well they said I have no choice that they will have to carry out an operation as my stoma is blocked and it needs to be re-sited away from the cancer in order for it to drain as normal" I told her.
"Well what's going to happen is there will be a meeting regarding your case involving all the surgical teams needed on Monday morning a decision will then be made with regards to surgery and when it takes place and what it will involve. We will then come and see you and advise you what has been decided. Do you have any questions?" she asked my mum and dad.
"I thought the meeting was taking place today?" My mum and dad asked.
"The general surgeons aren't in today. The on call team that saw Loraine yesterday had forgotten it was Friday and that the meeting wouldn't happen on a Saturday, I'm sorry".
"Is there a risk with the surgery that we could loose Loraine?" Dad asked.
"Yes there's a risk with any surgery and obviously with the spread of the cancer and the fact that Loraine's cancer has proven to be so aggressive gives a bigger risk to life. But if we don't operate we don't have any other options. We gave Loraine the strongest chemotherapy that we had and unfortunately instead of helping Loraine's tumours and shrinking them they have metastasised and exploded into a greater mass."
"Can I have this PICC line taken out and a new one putting in? They're having to canulate me because its blocked and its been re sited ten times since Thursday and trust me when you don't have any veins it bloody hurts" I moaned.
"Yes we can arrange for that to be done later this afternoon for you Loraine. Then we will look at putting a new one in prior to surgery".
"Okay thanks".
"Right we will be back to see you on Monday, okay?"
"Okay thanks".
Well we had all the answers the only option was surgery and even that wasn't guaranteed. Lee gave me a cuddle when Dr Jagdev left and mum sat on the bed.
"You'll get through this"
"I know" I smiled at her. "Don't worry. But, you best be making tracks if you're coming back to visit later, otherwise you'll have no time".
"Yes okay."
"And so you know, Lee is going to the charity quiz thing that Sue has arranged tonight and he's stopping over. He needs to go because Sue needs the money I'm donating to the kids and I'm glad he's going so he needs a break".
"Oh okay", mum looked unsure.
"So no giving him a hard time because I've asked him to go. You and dad are coming this afternoon which means Lee can get off and Jenna's coming up later with Sam so visits are sorted out".
"Okay, anything you fancy us bringing later?"
"No mum I'm fine. oh actually maybe some more magazines or puzzle things would be good I'm getting a tad bored again".
"Okay love" she gave me a kiss and walked to the door.
"You have a good time" I told Lee "and tell everyone I wish I could be there and I'm sorry I wasn't okay?" My eyes filled with tears cos I really did envy him being able to go. Lee looked at me concerned and cupped my face.
"I won't go if its going to upset you not being there..."
"You bloody will Sue's relying on that money. Which reminds me I'll walk you down to the cash point and draw out the money I haven't given you it yet".
"Well I was gonna get you to write a cheque cos I brought the cheque book for you"
"No I promised cash and cash it will be, come on help me into my dressing gown".
"Okay love". I walked them all to the lift drip stand in tow and headed to the cashpoint. Lee handed me my bank cards and I handed him the cash. Stupid cashpoint would only let me take £250 though so I had to take the money out of two seperate bank accounts. I gave Lee an extra £50.
"Whats that for?"
"To make sure you have a good time and buy a few drinks for Sue and Nick etc" I owe them big style. Lee gave me a hug and a kiss. I said bye to mum and dad and headed to the shop to see if I could tempt myself with anything. I bought a bar of dairy milk and headed back to the lift and back to my room. I rang Sue when I got back to the room and told her I'd given Lee the money for the charity auction and told her how sorry I was not to be going.
"You just get better Mrs McEvoy and I'll come see you real soon. Thanks again for the donation they are overwhelmed at the school especially since they know what you're going through".
"Tell them I'm still human and know a good cause when I see one and to spend it wisely".
"I will".
"And make sure Lee lets his hair down and enjoys himself".
"I will Nick and dad will be there to look after him along with Simon and Kim".
"Okay I will say goodbye cos I fancy a nap before visiting starts again".
"Alright bye friend"
"Bye".
"Loraine? Loraine?" The Scottish voice woke me up and I half expected seeing one of my relatives at the bottom of my hospital bed. Instead it was one of the doctors I'd seen on rounds with Dr Jagdev on Saturday.
"I've been assigned to remove your PICC line for you. Its not working anymore is that right?"
"Um yes that's right".
"Okay well I'll just go and get some bits and pieces then I'll be back"
"Okay thanks".
He looked quite nervous as he began pulling on the wire, I felt a tugging sensation and looked away but it didn't hurt it just felt really weird. Within seconds it was done, I couldn't believe the length of the wire that had been sitting inside me since October it was double my arm length almost. The doctor taking it out told me his name and I'm sure it was something Scottish but for the life in me I cannot remember his name.
"Right all done Loraine, just press on there for me a minute you're bleeding slightly I'll just stick the gauze over it and when it stops you can take it off".
"Okay thanks".
"They are gonna schedule for a new one putting in either Monday or Tuesday next week and that should make things easier for you then. I take it you have no veins?"
"Nope they've had to re site the cannula about ten times so far cos my veins keep collapsing. Its bloody painful when you don't have any".
"I bet. Right I better get on see you later". My arm felt a bit tender but it was okay I curled up on my bed and went back for another snooze still feeling tired.
I was surprised when Leona and Jo turned up this afternoon along with my mum and dad I hadn't known Jo was coming but it was nice to see her. We had a good catch up and I told her all about the forthcoming operation and how I wasn't entirely happy about the idea.
"You're bound to be scared Loraine, but if its your only chance, you have to take it love"
"I know. Just dreading it especially if its as bad as it was last time. At least I know what to expect though right?" Mum and dad sat looking lost at the corner of the room. Leona tried to engage them in conversation but I could see she was having a hard time.
"We're gonna go down for a coffee can I get you anything?" Mum asked us all.
"No I'm fine. Are you bored?" I asked her, she looked at me.
"No I just thought we should let you talk with your friends and we'll come back up for the second hour of visiting".
"Oh right. Well yes if you don't mind?"
"Well your dad wants a coffee so I'll go with him. Shall I bring you back anything?"
"No I'm fine honestly".
"Okay give us a kiss and we'll see you soon" Mum said leaning over and giving me a kiss. Dad bent over as far as his belly would allow and gave me a hug.
"Bye Leona, bye Jo see you in a bit" they waved and left.
"Sorry I didn't know you were coming" I apologised to Leona and Jo if I had I'd have re-arranged my mum and dads visit".
"Its okay don't worry about it. We could have gone for a walk though I should have thought"
"No its fine honestly".
"So how are the kids?"
"I haven't seen them yet but apparently Logan's really worried and wants to see me. I just want to get a good day before he comes up. So perhaps Tuesday he'll come with Lee. Jenna's coming to see me with Sam later on tonight".
"Oh is this the new boyfriend then?"
"Yep he's not her type, very shy and reserved and well just not her type. If you have a look on face book you will recognise him he was in CSC whilst you and I were there on Jo Jeffries team I definitely know the face".
"Oh right I'll have a nosey when I get a minute on Ashleigh's face book"
"I forgot you don't have an account. I'll pull it up now" I went onto the Internet opened my face book page and looked up Sam and then showed Jo the picture.
"Yep I know who you mean. Definitely not Jenna's type"
"Exactly" I agreed. I won't give it long though. Don't get me wrong he's really good to her I just think Jenna will get bored cos he's nice".
"You never know he might settle her down" Leona chipped in.
"God I can but hope Leona, but I doubt it". It was nice to see them again I hadn't seen them since our wedding in January. I missed Jo we didn't see so much of each other now cos she was always working stupid shift times. We'd had a really good natter and catch up when mum and dad re-appeared.
"I bought you some muffins" Mum handed me over a pack of five mini muffins from Costa coffee.
"I said I didn't want anything" I told her.
"Well I thought I might be able to tempt you. Save them for later if you don't want them now".
"Okay thanks mum".
"The rains really bad outside love and I'm not keen on driving when its so heavy so we might get off earlier if that's okay with you?" Dad said just after Jo and Leona had said their goodbyes and left.
"Yes okay".
"We can stay if you want?" Mum chipped in scowling at my dad.
"No its fine. I know dads not keen on driving when its raining its fine seriously you get yourselves off. I'm sure I'll find something to amuse myself with".
"If you're sure?"
"Yes I'm sure we can talk later".
"Okay bye then" she lent over and hugged me followed by my dad and then they were gone.
"Hiya did you arrive okay?" I asked Lee as he answered the phone it was just after seven and he'd promised he would ring when he got to Sue's as we had a habit of getting lost on the way there. Although we could find our way home no problem lol.
"Oh shit I didn't call you, sorry love"
"I'll let you off I was worried though as we always get lost going to Sue's and you promised you'd call".
"Sorry I was late getting to Sue's and then I got hooked up talking to John when I walked in I completely forgot".
"Hmm out of sight out of mind" there was silence on the other end. "I'm only joking" I laughed. "Just say hi make sure you give Sue the money and have a bloody good time. I'll ring you about ten to say night if that's okay".
"Of course it is. I'll make sure Sue's available to talk to you then as well her and Nick are running round like headless chickens trying to sort the quiz out it should have started fifteen minutes ago but some of the teams haven't turned up yet."
"Well you better get yourself sat down and try hard then" I laughed.
"I'll do my best. I'm on the team with Celia, John, Nick, Kim and Simon so we should do okay between us".
"Good luck then talk to you later" we blew each other a kiss and hung up.
"Sorry about that" I apologised to Jenna and Sam who had walked in during my phone call to Lee. "He said he'd call and he didn't I was worried he'd got lost again".
"Its fine I got you these, gran said you mentioned you fancied some" she handed me over a box of Liquorice Allsorts.
"Aw thanks love" I gave her a kiss and a hug.
"So are you okay Sam?" I asked him. He looked like a little nervous kitten sitting on the chair at the side of my bed.
"Yes I'm fine Loraine thanks".
"So whats the news?" Jenna asked me. "Gran said they're gonna operate?"
"Yep just waiting for a date. The tumours behind my stoma so they need to unblock it otherwise I could go into renal failure". she looked puzzled.
"My kidneys could pack up" I re-phrased it for her.
"Oh right, that's not good".
"No, which is why they have to operate. So I'm just waiting for a date. They should be coming back to me on Monday with a date then we will know more. By this time I was munching my way through the box of sweets. It was then I remembered my manners and offered some to Jenna and Sam. Jenna took some but Sam didn't.
"Was there anything else we could have brought you?"
"No honestly I'm fine. Its just boring sitting here in these four walls. If it wasn't for this TV and Internet thing above my bed I'd go crazy. It costs a bloody fortune to use it though".
"Why how much is it?"
"Twenty quid for three days. So its already cost me forty quid".
"Bloody hell that's a bit steep"
"I know".
"Have you seen what Sam's bought me?" Jenna pulled out a laptop.
"You are joking?" it was gorgeous and not cheap. "Sam you need to stop spoiling her" I warned him. "She will walk all over you if you let her" I added.
"MUM" Jenna chastised me smiling.
"Its true. And all this going for McDonald's at stupid times of day and night cos her ladyship wants one has got to stop. You tell her no".
"I don't mind" Sam told me. "And her laptop was broken she needed a new one and I could afford it".
"Well get her to do all your washing and clean your flat and make you some meals to compensate" I told him. Jenna frowned at me "Don't take advantage of this poor defenceless man" I warned her and she smiled. "One day he will tell you where to go if you do and you will loose the best thing that's happened to you for a long time".
"I won't" she promised but she smiled and looked at me from under her long eyelashes with a knowing glint in her eye. Both she and I knew if she clicked her fingers Sam would go running. She just had the gift for making blokes fall at her feet. I didn't agree with it but there was nothing I could do to change her unfortunately. It was Sam I felt sorry for he was inexperienced with women Jenna was his first girlfriend and he was smitten. There wasn't a chance of him growing a backbone and dumping her but unfortunately I could see it happening the other way round and sooner rather than later because if Jenna gets what she wants she gets bored eventually and moves on. I have no idea where she gets it from. I was never that confident with guys and certainly never got what I wanted. In one way I admire my daughter because of her confidence with the opposite sex in another way I worry about her getting a reputation for being a bit of a man eater. Sam hardly said a word through the visit just smiled and chuckled a bit now and then. He was definitely nervous around me maybe cos I said it how it was with regards to Jenna. Unfortunately I didn't see the relationship lasting he was too nice, too reliable, and had no bad habits... not Jenna's type she went for bad boys a bit like I did at her age and Sam fit none of that criteria. It was after eight before they both left I'd been glad of their company but I was a bit tired now. I went in search of a nurse to unhook me from my drip so I could get ready for bed. It was just after nine when I got into bed in my pyjamas and settled down for the night. I completely forgot about ringing Lee at ten.
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