I woke early Monday ready for the nurses coming to change my syringe driver. They finally appeared at eleven thirty and told me the syringe driver was going to be removed. I was happy elated it meant I could have a shower etc and I was looking forward to that. The problem with the syringe driver is that you're not allowed to get it wet and with that in one arm and the picc line in the other it pretty much makes it impossible to shower or bath so its a strip wash every morning.
The nurses came and removed it and I felt fine and jumped straight in the shower. I had some lunch, just tomato soup but hey ho better than nothing. It wasn't until around two thirty when I was sick the first time, but I'd just knocked my arm so put it down to that. By four thirty I was hanging over the loo vomiting water and that's when we gave in and Lee rang the district nurses. They were in the middle of changeover and advised that the on call team would call and see me, later that day. It was after six by the time they showed and they advised me as the prescription said it had to end that day they couldn't put the syringe driver back up they would need to call my on call GP and get him to come out and put it up for me. This was done and the on call GP was called. Meantime I was still being sick, nothing would stay down I was in agony cos my morphine was coming back so I wasn't getting any pain relief whatsoever. It was around nine thirty before the on call GP turned up. He advised he couldn't put the syringe driver back up and instead would give me an anti sickness injection of Cyclizine which had been in the syringe driver. He advised this would do me overnight and I could ring the hospital if it started again the following morning. He was with us all of ten minutes and disappeared and then it hit me!!
What had he done? Bloody hell I felt like I was dying.
"Lee, lee whats he done to me?"
"He gave you an anti sickness injection"
"No you don't understand bloody hell i feel like I'm hitting the ceiling.... and I did my heart was racing I couldn't keep still my arms and legs felt like they were on some sort of overdrive... I'm having a heart attack.. I must be... there's something not right I don't know what he's done..."
"Are you on something? Loraine you're not making any sense" Lee looked at me with a weird stare and I couldn't understand what he was staring at.
"He's done something to me... there's something wrong " I cried.
"Explain how you're feeling" he asked.
"My hearts beating too fast I can't catch my breath my arms and legs won't stay still I just feel like I'm on overdrive.... its not right. I'm on a high but its horrible".
Lee stood and stared "I'm ringing the doctor back" by this time it was after eleven. I spoke to the doctor explained how i was feeling and he told me I was having a panic attack and I needed to calm down take slow deep breaths and if things didn't get better to call an ambulance. Lee gave me a bag and I blew into it slow deep breaths. But he kept telling me I was doing it wrong I couldn't do it as slow as he wanted and I got irritated that he wasn't listening to me and I began to cry. I felt horrid I didn't understand this it wasn't normal. Eventually Lee rang the doctor again and they said they would send someone else but it would be about an hour. He begged me to go to bed and try and sleep and I went upstairs but my feet wouldn't stay still they thrashed around the bed my arms were the same my heart was still going far too fast so he rang an ambulance.
When the ambulance men arrived... three of them, a rapid response car and an ambulance I had nodded off and the symptoms had subsided slightly but i still felt like my heart was jumping. They got me in the back of the ambulance just as the doctor arrived at the same time. He looked at my heart trace and told me it had been a massive panic attack too and he thought I should not go to the hospital. He took me in calmed me down and left. Lee cuddled me and I apologised and headed to bed eventually I must have fallen asleep.
The following morning however the sickness began again... everything I ate or drank I brought it back... I rang the district nurses and spoke to Theresa.
"Hiya"
"Oh Loraine I've heard all about last night you've had a shit time of it haven't you? Hows the sickness?"
"Back again" I groaned.
"Right we're gonna come out and put the syringe driver back up and I'll make a call to Julie Wood too and let her know"
"Okay"
"We'll be there by ten thirty"
"Fine talk to you then" I sunk back onto the sofa. "They said they will be here by ten thirty"
"Thank god for that you look shocking"
"I feel shocking" then the phone rang again.
"Loraine its Theresa I've spoken to Julie she doesn't want us to put the syringe driver up she wants you to ring the hospital instead"
"I would but I haven't got the number I've lost them" I told her.
"I have one here hang on" she read the number out to me. "Speak to them and ring me back let me know what they say"
"Okay thanks".
So I rang the hospital and spoke to Mindy the first nurse who had done my chemotherapy. I explained my circumstances and how I'd been since treatment and she asked me a series of questions and advised me to come in to the pre-assessment unit. So I rang Theresa and advised her that's what i was doing and off we headed in the car. My bag packed ready for a hospital stay.
We arrived in the pre-assessment unit around eleven thirty and a lovely nurse showed me to the bay where I would stay until a decision was made whether to admit me or send me home. The bed was just like the hospital trolleys in a and e not the most comfortable and I was really hurting by now so not in the best place to be.
The nurse came and took my blood pressure temperature etc then asked how i was feeling I explained i still felt nausea and that I was in a lot of pain and I'd forgotten my Oramorph she promised the doctor wouldn't be long and they'd get me sorted out.... so we waited. One of the nurses offered us a drink I asked for water and Lee chose tea. It wasn't long before I was throwing it up again. The doctor turned up and I told him about the previous night and how bad the sickness had been. One of the nurses took some blood from the PICC line in my arm and it was sent of for analysing. Lee had disappeared for a cuppa downstairs when the nurse came and told me due to the fact I'd had diarrhoea they had to move me to an isolation room. I was shown into a small room with no windows at the side of the nurses station it had a medical couch in there a chair and a table. The couch was rock solid and like lying on a brick. "It won't be for long" the nurse told me. Lee still wasn't back when a wheelchair turned up "there's someone here to take you for an x-ray Loraine, you're down as urgent you won't be long." I still hadn't had any morphine I was uncomfortable as hell. Off we went in this over sized wheelchair down to x-ray on the ground floor. I was sat next to an old lady and a wheelchair and left.
"I hope you're not in a rush sweetie" she said to me in her Irish accent. "I've been sitting here since two 0'clock"
"What time is it now?" A lady with dark hair standing by the wall answered me "nearly three o'clock".
"Bloody hell" I moaned "just what I need". I was dry as hell and desperate for a drink. I sat and waited and waited. Another two wheelchairs turned up and another two trolleys one with an old man who appeared to be asleep, the other with an old lady on.
"Hello Annie, I thought you'd be home by now" she said to the old lady in the wheelchair at the side of me.
"No such luck" she grumbled. "I'm here for my x-ray to hopefully go home but I've been sat here since nigh on two o'clock and still I'm waiting. Hope you're not in a rush Clarice".
"Have you asked them why you've been waiting so long?"
"No. I don't like" she replied.
"I'll ask for you, you shouldn't have to wait this long" a radiographer walked past me. "Excuse me is there any chance you could get me some water I'm gasping"
"Sure I'll get you some" the fact that I looked like the walking dead must have helped. When she came back I thanked her and said "Annie's been waiting over an hour do you know when she's having her xray she's cold out here" I added. The woman looked sympathetically at Annie then at me "I'll find out what's going on but she's not on my list", she disappeared into one of the other x-ray rooms then another woman came out.
"Annie, I'm going to find out where your card is I'll be right back" the young woman told her. Meantime the woman on the trolley went in along with another woman sat behind me. the pain was getting really bad. "Annie your card wasn't brought with you that's why we've been waiting so long. But its here now so I'm going to take you through and we have a porter on his way so hopefully you'll be picked up as soon as we're done".
"Oh at last" she smiled. "And whens this poor girl going to go in then, she's waited almost as long as me you know?" I heard her ask as she was taken in, I smiled to myself but unfortunately I didn't hear the answer. A woman arrived and was parked next to me in a wheelchair.
"I hope you're not in a rush" I moaned. "I've been here since around half two, quarter to three".
"You're joking?"
"Nope I wish I was" I sighed. "I've got terminal bloody cancer and they think I have time to waste sitting here for bloody hours" I whinged.
"You okay love? You don't look good" She commented "You've gone really white".
"I'm dehydrated they were about to put fluids up when they brought me down here at quarter to three so they're not doing me any favours put it that way".
"Oh love they shouldn't make you wait not in your condition".
"Tell me about it... all my life seems to be full of is this hospital since I was diagnosed I want to enjoy what I have left instead I've spent the last three months here".
"Don't give up love" a voice came from behind me and I turned to see an oldish man sitting there, probably in his late sixties. "I was diagnosed with prostrate cancer in 1993. In 1996 they gave me six months to live. I'm still here" he smiled.
"Really?"
"Yes really," he replied. "Do you mind me asking what type of cancer you have?"
"Well it started with bladder cancer last August so they removed my bladder and gave me a Urostomy bag, then in August I got the news it was back again this time in the tissues around my bowel about two centimetres. In October my CT scan showed it had doubled to four centimetres and I had a new tumour in my pelvis which is two centimetres, its not looking good in all honesty but they're blasting me with chemotherapy so you never know. I think I pretty much need a miracle" I smiled. "And a drink of water I'm gasping" I added.
Patient after patient were taken in and still I sat there like an idiot looking as rough as a bag lady in my wheel chair. I was cold and desperate for a drink by the time it got to four twenty. Then I "heard my name mentioned. A guy came out of of the xray rooms.
"Beth?" he called as a plump lady came out of one of the x-ray rooms.
"Yes" she looked up. I take it he must have been her boss.
"Loraine Mooney? She was brought down as an urgent case the doctors are waiting to see her on the ward" Beth looked at him puzzled.
"That's me" I said. "I've been here since quarter to three" I added. Beth looked slightly pale the guy looked at me then a little sterner at her.
"I'll take her in now"
"You do that and I'll get a porter to take her straight back". From then everything pretty much jumped into gear I was wheeled in. x-rays were taken of my abdomen and pelvis and then just as quickly I was wheeled back out. Straight into the arms of a waiting porter who proceeded to practically run to the lift with me. Its amazing ... a doctor says jump and they jump... if I'd of said jump I'd still have been sat outside that x-ray room waiting to go in, dying of thirst.
"I bet you thought I'd got lost?"
"You've been a while" Lee replied.
"Tell me about it, I felt like I'd been sat there all week. Talk about uncomfortable..and now to lie on a brick cos boy do I need to lie down".
"Have any doctors been yet?"
"No the nurse, Helen popped her head round the door about half an hour ago and said to someone else she's not back yet"
"Well I was still waiting when a phone call came through downstairs to say the doctors were waiting to see me and could they hurry up. So Dr Jagdev must be on her way".
"What do you want to do?"
"Well its a bit late to go home isn't it?"
"We're back here for pre-assessment anyway at 9.50 so you'd be better staying anyway".
"Yeah true lets see what she says".
Dr Jagdev appeared about ten minutes later. "Loraine, you've not been too well I hear?"
"No, I was fine until they took the syringe driver down then the sickness came back and an on call GP decided to give me an injection of Cyclizine and I hit the ceiling." I told her. "And I've got really bad diarrhoea".
"Okay well I think firstly we should get the syringe driver up and get your sickness back under control. Your bloods are back and you are a little dehydrated too, what do you want to do?"
"Well in all honesty I'm back early tomorrow for pre-assessment anyway, and with the sickness and everything I'd rather stay until it settles if that's okay".
"I think its a good choice Loraine. We can get your sickness settled and you'll be here for pre-assessment tomorrow. So Helen, can we get Loraine a room sorted?"
"Yes there should be one free shortly on 96" Helen replied.
"Can I have some pain relief too only I haven't had any because it keeps coming back" I asked Dr Jagdev.
"Yes we'll get you written up for some".
"Thanks".
It was just after six when I was shown to room 14 on ward 96. A single bed room with a nice en-suite, a lovely view and a TV on a stand at the bottom of the bed. The TV wasn't the best but I could get ITV on it at least after a bit of messing with the aerial. Lee stayed until around seven and then I told him to go home he looked shattered. I was shattered too the nurse came in to introduce herself and it was Antonetta whom I'd had when I'd been admitted to 96 last time.
"Hi, we've met I'm Loraine. I was here last round of Chemotherapy" I told her.
"I thought I recognised the name, you're the one getting married in January?"
"Thats right yes"
"Hows the wedding plans going?"
"Well they'd be a lot better if I could stay out of this place" I told her. She laughed.
"You're having a rough time of it aren't you?"
"Couldn't get much worse" I replied.
"Right I'll get the syringe driver put up for you now and some saline, would you like a drink?"
"Can I have some water? I don't know if I'll keep it down but I'm willing to give it a go".
"Sure, i'll go get you the syringe driver and morphine now and get one of the other staff to bring you some water whilst I'm sorting it out".
"Thanks".
"No problem".
Around nine I settled down for the night. Drip hooked up, I'd had morphine and the syringe driver was fitted. I rang Lee to say good night and settled down to sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment