Okay first thing I have to announce to the world is on Wednesday I went to the hairdressers and I am officially blond again and straight. I was always blond and straight until about seven years ago. Then I changed to blond with an amber shade highlighted, then the amber changed to a red streaks which looked really good. Then I went through a traumatic break up and changed to a deep brown I called it my dark phase. Then I changed to a deep burgundy red. Then it was red with blond highlights. Then after my operation in 2010 and my trip to Cyprus I started wearing it curly, it looked good it was a mixture of colours, browns reds, and blonds and it took no managing I just left it to dry and then scrunched it with hair gel... no effort required it was brill. So I sold my GHD straighteners to my sister. Then I started chemo and slowly my curls began to disappear, I didn't loose my hair well not much of it, it thinned out but wasn't noticeable to anyone else, it just went straight. When I got my hair done for my wedding I wore it up, it was a mixture of colours blonds and browns and straight at the front then curly at the back and it looked really good. But the curls were man made with tongs and sadly now when I wash it, its straight no more curls. So I went to the hairdressers and came out blond and straight armed with a new pair of GHD's from the Peacock limited edition in Green, and I kid you not two hundred and fifteen pounds lighter. Ah well not every day you get to treat yourself to some decent straighteners is it?
On Thursday, Lee and I made a trip into Wakefield. Unfortunately I have a funeral to go to tomorrow and I have nothing to wear. Well, I do, I have a black dress which is fine I suppose but I'd rather wear trousers and a top. We stopped at Matalan first because they are always cheap for trousers. But straight away I saw the menswear department had expanded and I began having a look around. Lee still seems to have no clothes. I spotted a lovely shirt in there, a stripy one.
"Know what I love about shopping with you?"
"What?" I asked Lee.
"You always pick out stuff for me that I like and that's a first for me" he said smiling.
"Well I must have good taste then" I replied and gave him a kiss. I headed for womenswear next but it all seemed to be casual stuff, however Lee asked for me and one of the staff explained the store had been moved around and where to look for the smart stuff. I picked out four pairs of trousers two size 12 two size 14 in different styles. I can get into a size 12 no problem now but if they are a bit too tight at the waist they cause problems with my stoma so I tend to go for a 14 if the waistband is stiff. Next i saw a cream chiffon blouse with a black colour and buttons and showed it to Lee.
"Its pretty transparent" he pointed out.
"I could wear a Cami top underneath that will hide my stoma bag".
"Yep that would work, try it on" he suggested and I headed for the changing rooms. Anyone who's been fat like me will no how scary entering changing rooms can be. I, for one always used to pick up something I liked, take it home, try it on and bring it back if it didn't fit, because I was too scared to enter a changing room. It still took some encouraging getting me in there I can tell you.
"Maybe I should take the 14 and try them on at home.." I suggested to Lee. He raised an eyebrow.
"Go on I'll wait here" he encouraged. So I held my items up for the assistant to count and headed into a cubicle. The first pair of trousers were just a terrible fit generally and looked horrid on so I tried a 12 in a different style. They were a good fit, but as usual a little snug around the waist and showed the outline of my stoma bag off to perfection, not a good idea. So I tried the 14 on and the blouse and I was pleasantly surprised I headed to the entrance to show Lee.
"They're nice turn around" I did as I was told smiling.
"You look great they're a brilliant fit" Lee encouraged me.
"Thanks".
"So, where now?"
"Why don't we go bed shopping, there's a Benson beds just further up look" I pointed out the store to him as we came out of Matalan.
"Good idea sooner we get a new bed, sooner you get some sleep". So we entered the shop and headed to the bed section. We tried out quite a few when one of the assistants Carol came over.
"Any particular bed you're looking for?" she asked.
"Well I have a memory foam one but it has dips at both sides of the mattress now and raises in the middle" I told her.
"How long have you had it?"
"Not long to be honest only about five years" I told her. "But, I didn't pay a lot for it, I guess you get what you pay for. So I'm ready to spend on a decent bed".
"Loraine was wanting one of those divan beds that you lift up with the storage underneath" Lee told her.
"We have those"
"Okay I can show you a few of those, follow me" so Lee and I followed to the other side of the store where she pointed out some beds.
"Don't be afraid to lie down on them" she told us. So I lay down and encouraged Lee to get on and give it a try as well.
"How does that one feel?"
"Mm its nice" I told her.
"Right well that's bottom of the range, I'll take you to the next one up and you can try that one. This one is made up of micro coil springs then its topped with air pockets and then memory foam. The higher we go in the range the deeper the memory foam top and I'm told the more comfortable they are. So try this one out" I laid on the bed.
"Ooh yes this one is definitely comfier than that one" I agreed.
"Well try the next one then" she pointed to the bed next to the one I was laid on so I got up and laid on the next one. "This is the highest one in the range".
"And can you do this one with the divan base that lifts up?" I asked her.
"No that's what I was going to come too. You can't mix and match the divan bases and mattresses. With this mattress you need to have this base". I looked at the base it was brown with two drawers in. I didn't like the fact that it was brown.
"Mm, not keen on the colour" I told her.
"Well the other option is this mattress with this base" she pointed to another base which did lift up for the storage. "But that would cost you an extra two hundred pounds".
"Oh, that's a bit expensive".
"That's what I thought, the other option is the divan base that pulls up with the mattress that's on it. Why don't you try?" she suggested and I lay down on that bed. I shook my head it definitely wasn't as comfortable as the other one. "Yes I thought so, it depends on how much you want that base really".
"How much would it be with the mattress I want and the base it comes with?" I asked.
"I could do that one for Six hundred and fifty nine pounds including delivery".
"And if I took the mattress I want and the base that lifts up?"
"That would be Eight hundred and fifty nine pounds" she told me.
"And if I went for the lift up base and the not very comfy mattress?"
"That would be Six Hundred and twenty but obviously you might not be getting the comfort".
"What do you think?"
"You want one that's gonna be comfy darl".
"Yes I know".
"I know you had your heart set on a lift up one but do we really need all that storage? I mean the bedding in those top boxes above the bed will easily fit into those two drawers and that will free up all the top boxes above the bed then?"
"Yeah true" I agreed.
"You want to be comfy darl and the fact that the divan base is brown doesn't matter you can get a valance sheet to cover that up".
"You have a point" I smiled at him. "Right we will take the comfy mattress with the not so nice looking brown base and drawers I told her".
"Okay come sit down and I'll take some details". So half an hour later we walked out of Benson beds I'd paid a ten percent deposit now and the rest was due a week before delivery. Delivery was set for Thursday 5th April at last I would have a comfy bed to lie on.
When we got in I rang my friend Mandy to make arrangements for the funeral. Sadly a mutual friend had lost a daughter aged eighteen. Mandy wanted to go but had no transport and I had transport but no one to go with so it made sense we go together.
"I've arranged to pick Mandy up before the funeral tomorrow" I told Lee. "She lives in Wrenthorpe on Coronation Street, would you believe?" he chuckled. "The funerals at Wakefield Crematorium next to where Lisa's grave is but I'm not sure how long it will take us to get from one to the other. I can always have a coffee at Mandy's before we set off".
"Okay darl"
"Mum wants to meet up with me but I've told her I'm not sure what time we'll be done because Mandy will probably want to go to the wake after and I'm not sure where that is".
"Okay well I'll be in so don't worry". I text Lynne the mun of Jenny who died and told her we'd both be there tomorrow. I was secretly dreading it, it was horrid at Mary's the minute I saw the coffin I just though that could be me soon and its hard to get rid of those thoughts.
I woke up feeling sad at the thought of Jenny's funeral she was so young. No one should have to make funeral arrangements for their child, its not right. I knew there would be people there I hadn't seen for years. Lynne used to be a barmaid at the Cock and Bottle a local pub I frequented where I live. It shut down about four years ago now and remains empty. I haven't seen Lynne in about three years unknown to me she moved to Outwood which is why I hadn't seen her around Ossett for a while. Lynne's kids would often come up to the pub on a Saturday afternoon when they had karaoke on her kids, Mandy's kids and my kids used to hang around together. They were all various ages at the time Jenna is two year older than Jenny, and Jenny was three years older than Logan. Mandy has three kids, Patrick was ages with Jenna, Robin was ages with Logan and Sammy was ages with Jenny. But they would go on karaoke or play games outside on the precinct where we live it was always a lovely atmosphere in the summer. There's been a lot of publicity surrounding Jenny's death as she fell from a hotel window there was a lot of speculation and rumours going about as to did she jump, was she pushed, or had she fallen? But her body had been released so I presumed any investigation was now over. I followed the directions of the sat nav and pulled up outside a house twenty minutes later. I wasn't entirely sure if I had the right address so I took out my phone and rang Mandy's mobile. It was then I saw her at the window waving so I got out the car.
"Want a cuppa before we go?" she asked me.
"Yes that would be good"
"How long will it take us to get there?"
"Not sure I'm just going to put the postcode in the sat nav and I'll check" I told her. I've got a new Tom tom but I still haven't read the instructions. To be honest any gadgets I never do I fiddle about with them until I get it working. Eventually after a lot of beeps telling me I'd gone wrong I'd found my way onto the main menu of the Tom tom I put in the post code of the crematorium and waited.
"It says twenty minutes so we've got about half an hour to spare" I told her. Two cups of coffee later we got in the car and headed to the crematorium.
The first thing we noticed when we arrived was that the car park was full. So we had to come out of the car park and park on the side of the road outside. As we walked up I saw Rachel a girl that used to work behind the bar with Lynne who I did see quite regularly. She was standing with her son Chris. Jenny had been his first girlfriend and he was in bits. There was a huge crowd of people and no way we were all going to fit into the crematorium. As I looked around I realised what a tight squeeze this was going to be. The hearse and cars pulled up, and about twenty cars followed black flags hanging from their car aerials. I was glad to be around the corner of the building now as the coffin was unloaded and the family walked in. I didn't want to be near the coffin I knew if I was I'd cry. The music from one of Adele's hits flooded the crematorium and we heard it outside as we all walked inside. The benches in the crematorium and the back of the crematorium was packed with people. People stood in the aisles too so we were shown into the waiting room and a television screen was put on in there so we could see the service. Two of Jenny's friends did her eulogy he was lovely to listen too, then the vicar spoke a bit. Before long it was over and I hadn't shed a single tear. I was quite proud of myself that I'd held it together. But then as we excited the building Jason Jenny's brother came running back in shouting "She's still there isn't she? There's something I have to do, don't take her yet" as he shouted I began to cry. The poor kid certainly wasn't holding it together.
"He was like that when I went on Wednesday Loraine, he's loosing it big style".
"Poor bugger" I replied grabbing a tissue. "I hope no one looses it like that when I die. At least with mine we will all be prepared for it might even see if we can have a rehearsal" I commented and Mandy sniggered. "Well you have wedding rehearsals why not funeral ones, I can make sure everyone following my wishes then. One stipulation is everyone has to wear something Red. Lee will be spitting feathers you know what he's like about Red". Mandy laughed. She'd laughed when I'd told her via face book about Lee's aversion to red him being a Leeds united fan and all that. I'd threatened to wear red knickers on our wedding night. Lee, however had made it clear if I did there would be no honeymoon action so I'd given up on the idea. It was quite hysterical that the hotel room we'd stayed in had red accessories and that the wall in the en suite was bright red too. Lee had asked if I'd done it deliberately. I approached Lynne and gave her a hug.
"Are you coming back to the Queens?" she asked.
"Yes I will, haven't a clue where it is though"
"I know the way" Mandy told me.
"We will see you there then" I told Lynn. Then I spotted Rachel. "We're off to the Queens if you want to come I can give you a lift home from there" I told her.
"Its okay my friend is picking me up that dropped me off, but thanks anyway". I gave her a hug and Mandy and I walked towards the car.
"You sure you know where we're going?" I asked Mandy.
"Yep, no problem" she replied. She directed me back onto the M1 and I headed for Junction 41 as we came off the motorway I recognised the route to Outwood anyway it wasn't far from where my friend and hypnotist Jacqui lived. I wasn't sure where the Queens was until Mandy pointed it out. Its just past the traffic lights on the left there, not sure where you can park though" it was pretty busy but I knew there would be a lot of people parked up for the wake. It was a lovely service and there were hundreds of people in the pub celebrating Jenny's life it was just a shame that no one seemed to know how it had happened. Although Lynne remains convinced it was no accident and her daughter was pushed. Police are investigating but there were only two people in the hotel room the night Jenny died. Unfortunately they don't seem to be getting many answers.
R.I.P Jenny. If someone did this they have to live with the consequences of their actions.
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