Tuesday 27th - Fingers crossed.

Third night now with little to no sleep. Laid awake til three am. Woke at seven when Lee got up and tried in vain to get back to sleep. At eight I heard Logan come in to drop his bag off and leave again. I snuggled under the duvet and tried to get back to sleep. At nine, I thought what the hell and got up to wash my hair and have some breakfast. However, Lee was asleep under the throw on the sofa so I backed out of the lounge and headed into the kitchen. I got myself some cereal and took it upstairs with me. After eating my way through a bowl of crunchy nut cornflakes I got in the shower and washed my hair. I'd blow dried it and straightened it before I heard Lee move downstairs. I'd said if I was up in the morning I would meet mum at the market. There's a small market in Ossett on a Tuesday and Friday Lee likes to look round the second hand part for action men to add to his collection... I kid you not. I rang mums number but dad answered.
"Is mum still at Carols having her hair done?" I asked.
"Yes she is why?"
"Well can you ask her to give me a ring when she gets in and I'll arrange to meet her up at the market?"
"Why what are you doing today?"
"Meeting mum at the market then I have the hospital fro pre-assessment at two" I told him puzzled by the question when I'd just told him what I was intending to do.
"Okay so she's to give you a ring?"
"Yes" I replied. "I need to get my passport changed so I have to go up there anyway".
"Okay love bye".
"Bye" I put the phone down not entirely sure he'd been listening lol.
"Morning" I gave Lee a kiss as he walked in.
"Morning love"
"Mums at the hairdressers next door getting her hair done I've asked dad to get her to ring  when she gets in then we'll go meet her okay?"
"Yes that's fine darl."
"I've got all the stuff I need for my passport so I'll get that sorted. I need to get photos done first so I'll go to the photo shop and get those done first."  My mobile phone beeped (or rather knocked, mine has a woodpecker ring tone lol)" oh, this message says mums on her way are we there now? I told dad to ask mum to ring first. Shall we go then?" Just then the house phone began ringing. I picked it up seeing mum on display "We're not there yet mum I told dad to ask you to ring when you got in" I told her hurriedly worried she was waiting. "I've just got home now" she told me. "Oh, I got your text saying you were on your way are you there now I presumed you'd set off" I explained.
"No, no we'll set off now though if you're ready"
"Yes we're on our way" I put the phone down shaking my head puzzled that mum had sent a message saying she was on her way whereas in fact she was at home... ah well never mind.
"Ready?" I asked Lee, and he nodded. It was lovely and sunny outside Lee wore a pair of three quarter shorts and I had on jeans and a t-shirt.
Parking the car we headed for the photographers first don't you just hate the fact you can't smile on passport photos? I looked a right miserable bugger lol. Photos done we headed towards the town hall to look for mum and dad where we had arranged to meet.  Not seeing them outside we headed inside and Lee made his way to his usual toy stall where he got most of his action men from.  He bought two more and as he was waiting to pay my dad walked past in the other direction. "Dad, Dad" I called but he obviously hadn't heard me although nearly everyone else did and turned round as I called. Dad definitely needs a hearing aid! "I'll go see if mums outside" I told Lee. However there was no need as i made my way through the doorway there was mum standing squinting at her mobile phone, without her glasses on.
"Hiya"
"Oh hi," she looked up and smiled "you look good today"
"Thanks I've just been for passport photos" I pulled them out and showed her. "I look a right miserable bugger don't I?"
"No they're nice" mum said and I smiled. "I'm gonna go over to the post office and get the passport sorted before I do anything else"
"Okay well I'll come with you, that okay"
"Yes fine. Lee just nipping to the post office with mum we'll come back here when we're done"
"okay". There were only five in the queue when we got in the Post Office and only one at the Passport window. I wasn't sure if we could just go straight to the passport window or if we had to queue still so mum asked a woman sitting at a desk.
"No you're fine love you can go straight to the counter when she's done with that customer you don't have to queue for the passport check and send service".
"Okay thanks".
"Whats the quickest service you offer is it a week?"
"No we don't offer a week" she replied. "It normally takes two weeks".
"Ah right I checked online and it said normal timescales were six to eight weeks or you could pay extra and have it done in one week".

"Yep end of April" I told her next she'd be selling me insurance and a credit card I thought waiting for it.
"Well we've got Easter so that might delay it a bit" she told me.
"But I should have it back before end of April though?"
"Well I would have thought so but its not guaranteed"
"I'll risk it" I replied and handed over the application my photos, old passport and marriage certificate.
"Where you going?"
"Cyprus"  I told her.
"Larnaca or Paphos?"
"Larnaca" I told her "flight only because my husbands parents live out there."
"My daughters in Paphos, its getting warmer now they've had their worst winter though"
"Yes I know Lee's mum was telling me".
"Have you booked your flights?"
"Yes" here we go I thought now she'll try selling me insurance.
"What have you got them for?"
"I've got insurance" I said interrupting.
"Oh I didn't mean insurance just wondered who you had booked with and what you got your flights for? I go out to Paphos to see my daughter quite a lot of the time".
"Oh, I got a good deal" I couldn't tell her now I hadn't actually booked the flights I had looked at them though and knew how much they were "Flying out its seventy five quid and coming back is eighty five" I told her that's for end of April til end of May though?"
"Really that's a good deal. I've never got flights under two hundred quid for one travelling" she told me.
"Oh no you can get cheaper than that I went out in April, June, August and September last year and the most I paid for a flight was one hundred and sixty quid".
"Really?"
"Yes. But I always fly to Larnaca but I don't see why it should be more expensive to go to Paphos. In fact lee's mum always books her flights from Cyprus to us with Cyprus airways and flying from UK to Cyprus she either uses Thomas cook or monarch if you split them like that apparently its even cheaper".
"Oh right. I'll have a look at that then"
"Yes make sure you do it'll be cheaper" as we'd been talking Maggie had been doing everything necessary for the check and send service. She gave me a piece of paper with a phone number on it. Then circled a date on it, the date being fourteen working days from today which takes us to the seventeenth of April. If you haven't heard anything by this date, ring this number and give them this reference and they will chase the passport for you, okay?"
"Okay thanks"
"No problem bye"
"Bye" that was the first time I'd been in the post office and no one had tried to sell me something I was impressed. "All done" I smiled at mum. "Lets go look for them" I suggested.
"What else do you need to do?"
"Nothing really, oh apart from I want to go to beauticians I had my nails done last week with that shellac nail polish it normally lasts two weeks but its only been a week and they've all chipped"
"Oh that's not right"
"I know so I'm gonna go ask for a repair this time. I wouldn't normally but we're off to that Colin fry show on Thursday and i want them to look good for that".
"Oh yes that's Thursday isn't it. Hope you get a reading"
"Me too" I replied as we rounded the corner I could see dad and Lee I met Lee at the slipper stall and proceeded to buy a pair of slippers for five pounds.
"Are you going to go get that walking stick Marlene?" dad asked her.
"What stick?"
"There's one in that mobility shop its a fold up one and its on sale for eight pounds. I thought I'd get one then I can fold it up when I don't need it." she explained.
"Oh right well we can go there next" so we headed up to the mobility shop where I spotted two walking sticks in the window one was a standard black one and the other one was called glitzy walking stick it was a metallic green with a silver spiral around the stick. I tried to persuade my mum to get the glitzy one but she was having none of it. She bought her stick and we headed for a coffee and a chat. Then I booked a repair at the beauticians and we headed for the car.
"Let me know how you get on?"
"There's nothing to tell mum its only bloods and getting weighed" I told her.
"Well give us a ring when you get in anyway" she told me.
"Okay".

"Hi appointments not until two o'clock we came early to get parked" I told the receptionist at the pre-assessment clinic. "Okay Loraine, take a seat in waiting area one".
"Okay thanks" we headed up to the waiting room and sat down. It was empty!! When I say empty there was only one other person there. "God this is unusual Lee" I said sitting down. Normally it was packed and we were struggling for seats.
"Wow it is quiet isn't it?" I pulled out my magazine and Lee pulled out his paper to read it we were experienced at the waiting game now and knew you had to bring reading material with you. At these clinics you could be waiting a couple of hours at a time. We hadn't been waiting long when a Chinese nurse called my name and we followed her down to the pre-assessment room.
"Its quiet isn't it?" I said to her. "Is everyone on holiday or something? I've never seen it so empty"
"Yes its seems to have been a quiet afternoon it was manic this morning though" she told me. "We'll weigh you first" I put my bag down and walked over to the scales.  I'd put some weight on back up to Eleven stone one, I'd been steadily loosing three pounds a week until now. I wasn't happy that I'd put weight on I knew everyone else would be though. Just shows my appetite must be getting better. I sat down and the nurse went through her pre-assessment check list.
"So you're having day eight tomorrow aren't you?"
"No day one cycle six, day eight was cancelled due to a low white cell count. Day one was supposed to be last week but I had a urine infection so it was put back and i was given antibiotics for a week" I explained.
"Oh right let me just check something" she checked on computer and saw that I was right I was booked in for day one of cycle six although they had it down as cycle three. But that was due to the first three cycles being Gemcitabine and Cisplatin and now I was on Gemcitabine and Carboplatin. Then I forewarned her, when I came to have bloods taken last Tuesday Liz couldn't get the end of my PICC line off to change it. So you may need forceps the district nurses tried when they came out to do my flush on Thursday but they couldn't get it off either".
"They may want to take it out then" another nurse piped up who'd been sitting nearby.
"What the line?" I asked. "I'm on my last cycle though" I told her.
"Well if it hasn't been flushed..."
"Oh it has, it was flushed and dressed and everything else they just couldn't get this end off it seems to be stuck fast"
"Oh right I thought you meant it hadn't been flushed".
"No I just meant the end it always gets flushed" I repeated. "However it does sometimes struggle to bleed back" I told her. At that point Liz walked into the room.
"Oh hello you" I showed her the end of the PICC line. She pulled a face "couldn't they get it off then?"
"Nope it flushed okay and everything but the district nurses couldn't get the end off"
"Didn't you come for chemo then last?"
"No Dr Jagdev had to cancel it cos I had a urine infection" I explained so district nurses came out to flush it but couldn't get the end off to change it.
"Oh hell, you'll need forceps then Kam cos I couldn't get it off last week"
"Okay I'll do the dressing and flush and bloods first and then I'll tackle changing that last" she told me and laughed.  Looking down at my PICC line I said....
"Now behave yourself and bleed back this time no funny business" Lee looked at me and laughed.
"Those drugs they have you on are turning you funny!"
"Hey you laugh it worked last time I had a little talk with it and it behaved itself" I replied. However, it didn't work, some twenty minutes later Kam decided to clean my arm and change the dressing then try again. That didn't work either, so she went to retrieve some forceps and I swung my arms around a bit to try and get the blood flowing so she could try again. Ten minutes later she returned with the forceps and the end was unscrewed easily and dumped a new one put in its place. Then syringe in hand she flushed my line again, it worked, then it bled back very very slowly I might add. When I say slowly I mean it dripped its way into first one vial then the other. Forty minutes after my original appointment time... I was done... finished and ready to go home....whey hey. Miracles do happen. Temp fine, bloods fine, everything fine... Chemo at two fifteen tomorrow. Homeward stretch now Loraine nearly finished.
I took myself up for a nap when I got in exhausted from just walking round the town centre and going to the hospital... I feel about sixty not forty.  In less than ten days I could have my PICC line removed and my life back. I can't bloody wait!!!