I got into trouble today with my family. I received feedback that some people were upset with the comments in my blog with regards to my daughter Jenna. I edited it to make those people concerned happy. However, I regret that decision as far as I'm concerned I never should have felt pressured into re-writing what is in effect my diary because re-writing it turns it into fiction its not doing what I started out to do by writing it in the first place.
My blog is a diary about me, my life, my family and how I perceive things. How I deal with my illness and my family and the trials and tribulations I am going through from day to day. Not everyone will agree with how open I am in my blog about my thoughts and feelings and some of the content included. Writing my blog is what stops me from cracking up and what helps me get through the shit in my life. My kids understand this and Lee understands this and so should everyone else. None of my blog is fictional and if I wanted to write fiction I would write a novel. It is all the truth and some of you may not like what I write, and if you don't then please just stop reading it. From now on it will stay truthful and to the point. If you are in my life and do something to make me happy, or do something that sticks in my memory, or if you upset me you will probably end up in it too, whether its good or bad. Because that is what a diary is its a way of releasing your feelings and that's precisely why I'm writing it in the first place. The fact that its on the Internet bears no consequences whatsoever as far as I'm concerned its still my diary and anyone and everyone can read it.
My car had its MOT on Monday and we were both dreading it, and were pretty sure it was going to fail and not surprisingly it did. Headlights, as one of them had water in it and had dropped, indicators were flashing different colours, brakes needed sorting out the list was endless. However, it didn't cost the full amount that my dad had very kindly given us to sort it out. I rang him on Monday evening to let him know the full cost and offer him the change back. However, he was happy for us to keep the rest so today, Tuesday we went food shopping. Its not that we've been starving, don't get me wrong but we have been cutting down living on breakfast and one meal a day to try and get by and in all honesty it hasn't been hard. My stomach has shrunk since the chemotherapy anyway and my appetite is somewhat depleted. Lee, well Lee, doesn't eat a lot never has so he hasn't found it hard either. But to go to the supermarket and buy stuff that we'd gone without such as some bottles of wine for me and lager for lee and lots of meat and some fresh fruit and veg, well it was lovely. We came home and unpacked and my fridge and freezer are now full for the first time since about October. I can honestly say I'm looking forward to spaghetti bolognese and a glass of wine tonight. Tomorrow the direct debits go out and we are clear of bills for another month. There won't be much money left in the account but we have a full tank of petrol and I'm sure we will get by we always do.
There is some light at the end of the tunnel as we received a letter from the House of Commons yesterday from Mary Creagh (we emailed her about the problems trying to get benefits in particular Employment Support Allowance and Lee's claim for Carer's Allowance). Anyway it stated in the letter that she has written to both departments in respect of our claims and is awaiting a reply. The same day I received a call from the department who deal with the claim for Employment Support Allowance, the lady explained she needed to know the full amount received for my final wage (I hadn't included it as I submitted the claim before pay day). Anyway, I informed her that it was the grand total of One hundred and seventeen pounds. She advised me she was sorting out my claim that it would be backdated to the sixth of January and she would be dealing with it until the claim went through. I then asked her whether there would be a problem with it going through with regards to the lack of evidence I submitted in respect of Lee. It went quiet at the other end whilst she checked the details.
"No, it looks like its fine we can see from the copy of Lee's passport that he's a British citizen so we don't need that evidence anyway".
"WHAT?" I was mad, livid in fact, I had rang them on several occasions to advise we didn't have the information required I had argued with them explaining Lee was a British citizen and they had said the evidence was still required and then suddenly its simply not required anymore.
"Well as I said we can see Lee's a British citizen so we don't need that information" she repeated.
"Sorry, I'm just so flabbergasted that suddenly its not needed if you knew how many arguments I have had with people from your department on this phone, stressing me out, saying I had to find this information and send it and suddenly its simply not needed".
"I'm sorry if we've done anything to upset you or put you under any unnecessary stress Mrs McEvoy
"Okay, thank you".
"Bye". I explained the conversation to Lee when I got off the phone and he was as shocked as me but after putting two and two together I think I am right in thinking that this is probably down to a letter received from the House of Commons. So we are both hoping our next piece of good luck will be Lee's carers allowance going through as that is backdated to October of last year so it should be some serious cash. Things are finally looking up for both of us, its nearly seven o'clock and I'm having a lovely glass of Rosey and I have a smile on my face. I'm just going to kiss my hubby before he goes in the bath and then sit and watch Emmerdale. Night all x
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
Monday, 30 January 2012
28th January - The weekend is here.
Lee woke up earlier than me I didn't sleep very well due to the pain in my stomach. The painkillers are definitely not taking the edge off. He'd taken Logan home before I'd gotten out of bed so unfortunately I didn't get to say goodbye, sorry Logan.
When I did eventually get myself into gear I decided it was time to show Lee some of the nice scenery where we live. I opted for a drive to Newmillerdam I knew he'd love it. As we drove around the corner and he saw the trees and the water his eyes lit up.
"The car parks the next turning left I'm pretty sure we can park for free with the disabled badge" I told him. "Afterwards we could go to the pub over the road for some lunch if you feel like it we have enough for that".
"Okay, you sure your up for this?" He asked me and I smiled.
"I'll hold onto your arm I should be fine" I told him and we began to walk.
"When my mum and dad come back we will have to bring them here".
"I would've brought them last time but the weather was so shitty" I laughed. "Not like today its gorgeous today" and it was the sun was shining it was a little cold but the sky was blue and it was a lovely day.
We walked and talked looking at the benches with the little memory plaques on them it was just so peaceful and I loved it.
Two hours later we walked into the Fox and Hounds, Lee ordered a pint of Blond something or other and I ordered a medium white wine. We sat on a red leather seat to the side of the restaurant.
"Its nice here I like it"
"I've never been here before the last time I came for something to eat was with Jo and we went to the Dam Inn but the staff there are a little rude and snotty".
"Really?"
"Yes" I nodded. "Shall we get some menus?" Lee handed me a menu and I read through it there was some lovely stuff on there but I wasn't hungry enough for a large meal and opted for a steak filled baguette. Lee wanted the prawn in Marie rose sauce baguette and i ordered a side portion of chips.
When they came I was surprised at how big the sandwiches were, and realised the side portion of chips weren't necessary as the baguettes came with a side salad and some crisps. I will say it is the best steak baguette I have had in ages and I highly recommend the Fox and Hounds pub at Newmillerdam for a fantastic lunch.
All in all it was a pretty good weekend we joined blockbusters and I have a DVD Player in my room now. So when my Chemotherapy starts again I can lie in bed and watch movies if I'm too tired to come downstairs. Shame I don't have Sky in the bedroom though Free view is a little limiting as to what you can watch on TV. The battles with Jenna over her finances and keeping her room tidy continue daily but I'm learning to not stress about it anymore.
We continue to buy scratch cards and lottery tickets in the hope that we will win the lottery before my house is signed over and I continue to hope that when I got back for my CT scan results the Chemotherapy will have worked and that maybe by some miracle I won't be dying any more.
When I did eventually get myself into gear I decided it was time to show Lee some of the nice scenery where we live. I opted for a drive to Newmillerdam I knew he'd love it. As we drove around the corner and he saw the trees and the water his eyes lit up.
"The car parks the next turning left I'm pretty sure we can park for free with the disabled badge" I told him. "Afterwards we could go to the pub over the road for some lunch if you feel like it we have enough for that".
"Okay, you sure your up for this?" He asked me and I smiled.
"I'll hold onto your arm I should be fine" I told him and we began to walk.
"When my mum and dad come back we will have to bring them here".
"I would've brought them last time but the weather was so shitty" I laughed. "Not like today its gorgeous today" and it was the sun was shining it was a little cold but the sky was blue and it was a lovely day.
We walked and talked looking at the benches with the little memory plaques on them it was just so peaceful and I loved it.
Two hours later we walked into the Fox and Hounds, Lee ordered a pint of Blond something or other and I ordered a medium white wine. We sat on a red leather seat to the side of the restaurant.
"Its nice here I like it"
"I've never been here before the last time I came for something to eat was with Jo and we went to the Dam Inn but the staff there are a little rude and snotty".
"Really?"
"Yes" I nodded. "Shall we get some menus?" Lee handed me a menu and I read through it there was some lovely stuff on there but I wasn't hungry enough for a large meal and opted for a steak filled baguette. Lee wanted the prawn in Marie rose sauce baguette and i ordered a side portion of chips.
When they came I was surprised at how big the sandwiches were, and realised the side portion of chips weren't necessary as the baguettes came with a side salad and some crisps. I will say it is the best steak baguette I have had in ages and I highly recommend the Fox and Hounds pub at Newmillerdam for a fantastic lunch.
All in all it was a pretty good weekend we joined blockbusters and I have a DVD Player in my room now. So when my Chemotherapy starts again I can lie in bed and watch movies if I'm too tired to come downstairs. Shame I don't have Sky in the bedroom though Free view is a little limiting as to what you can watch on TV. The battles with Jenna over her finances and keeping her room tidy continue daily but I'm learning to not stress about it anymore.
We continue to buy scratch cards and lottery tickets in the hope that we will win the lottery before my house is signed over and I continue to hope that when I got back for my CT scan results the Chemotherapy will have worked and that maybe by some miracle I won't be dying any more.
27th January - CT Scan time again.
My life seems to be full of going to the doctors and hospitals and after a while it gets tedious and boring at the moment it seems to be the only time we get out of the house. I rang the doctors before we were due to leave for the Leeds General Infirmary this morning, (I'm going there for my CT scan as St James's can't fit me in), I've been in a lot of pain over the past week. Before Christmas I was taking Oramorph a morphine based liquid every four hours and 60mg of Zomorph, which is a morphine tablet, however I discovered a lot of my sickness was down to these so I stopped taking them and started taking the highest dose of co-codomol that I had in the cupboard and putting up with the pain. But, the pain has got unbearable now I'm not sleeping I have constant stomach cramps and pain in my back, and typically, it seems to intensify when its time for bed, so I'm going to try and get an appointment at the doctors. I rang, I was told as I needed an afternoon appointment I had to ring back after one... why is nothing simple? I am starving too... I've never had to starve for a CT scan before but that's what the LGI want me to do. Its amazing for the same procedure how many hospitals do it differently. For instance, Pinderfields hospital, you have to get in a gown and drink an Aniseed liquid over the course of an hour and then you have a Cannula put in and x-rays are taken whilst you go in and out of a polo mint that sounds like a washing machine on a spin cycle, but you don't have to starve. At Dewsbury you have to starve for eight hours before and drink the Aniseed liquid and have a Cannula put in, but you don't get into a gown you just have to take off anything with metal in, for instance an underwire bra and anything with zips so I tend to wear leggings and a jumper when i go there, it saves time. St James's no starvation, no Aniseed liquid, you do have to have a Cannula put in, but you only drink water over the course of an hour and again anything metal has to be removed. So who knows what procedure the LGI will have but for starters I've had to starve since seven so naturally I'm starving!! I haven't been to the LGI for years and I've never driven there so I was a bit apprehensive about us finding the way this morning. We don't have our sat nav at the minute its a Sue's house so we've printed off instructions from the LGI website and I'm hoping we will get there okay. Fingers are crossed along with toes.
We set off at nine o'clock as my appointment isn't until ten should be plenty of time. According to instructions we were to leave the motorway at junction two our first mistake was leaving at junction 2A. We realised straight away it was the wrong exit and rejoined the motorway to carry on, unfortunately this delayed us by about fifteen minutes due to traffic. This time we came off at junction two followed the directions and they were spot on. I was impressed, my sat nav normally gets me lost this was straight forward. We arrived at the hospital and the next job was to find a parking space we drove into the hospital where the Jubilee wing just as someone exited one of the disabled bays... we had a parking space yippee. One plus point about having cancer I now have a disabled badge lol. So we parked up and headed inside. We were fifteen minutes early I was given the usual form to fill in by the receptionist and told to take a seat. Next came the jug filled with a clear liquid and a cup I pulled a face.
"Its only water" the radiologist told me.
"What no aniseed?"
"No aniseed" she laughed.
"Oh thank god" I laughed with her.
"You need to drink it slow over the course of an hour but keep your last cup til we call for you"
"Yes fine" I nodded.
"Shall I go get some magazines then?" Lee asked.
"Yes please" I gave Lee my bank card and off he went.
At around quarter to eleven I was called through by a nurse to have my Cannula put in this enables the xray day to be put into you whilst you're having the scan and helps them highlight the tumours to see if they have shrunk any. I have a PICC line in my left arm as you probably all know by now I think I've mentioned it before that only leaves them one arm to use to get the Cannula in. Unfortunately my right arm is the worst one for veins. After the fourth attempt at the inside of my right elbow it was getting painful I do have a good vein there but it moves, tricky little beggar it is. Eventually the nurse gave up and went for a doctor.. its like this every three months (I had such good veins before my operation in 2010 now they've gone into hiding). The doctor came in and had a good look at my arm for a good ten minutes eventually she went for the vein in the bend of my wrist, it was painful but it was in. I just had to be careful not to bend my wrist before the x-ray. I got back out to the waiting room and Lee.
"You okay?" I showed him my wrist.
"It hurts like hell" I told him.
"It was a last resort trust me" I replied and sat down. I hadn't been sitting long when I was called in for the x-ray.
"Mrs McEvoy" ooh someone got it right my surname is pronounced Mac-a-voy, the most popular one I've had so for is Ma-key-voy I sound foreign and I'm not lol. I got up from my seat leaving my stuff with Lee.
"I hear we had some difficulty getting your cannula in?"
"Yes its the same every three months" I told him.
"So you've had CT scans before then?"
"Yes I'm used to them" I told him. When I got into the scanning room the radiographer asked me if I had an underwire bra on and the answer was yes I knew there was something I'd meant to do.
"If you just bob behind the curtain and take it off"
"That may be tricky with one arm" I told him and he looked at my wrist.
"I'll get a female nurse to help you" he told me. A woman appeared at my side.
"I've undone it I just need help getting this right arm out it hurts when I bend my wrist" she looked at the Cannula in my arm.
"That's a tricky spot isn't it?"
"Yes it was last resort" I explained. Bra removed the male radiographer came back into the room.
"Right Loraine only difference with us to St James's is that we get you to go in feet first. I just need you to finish your drink and lay down with your head on the pillow. So I take it you know to expect it to be noisy don't you?"
"Yes, washing machine on a spin cycle" I replied and he laughed.
"It won't be long. I'll inject the dye slowly because I think it may hurt if I don't. Is that a PICC line you have in?" He asked.
"Yes"
"Its a shame we can't use it but the dye we inject can cause the line to break which is why we're not allowed" he told me.
It was time to go in the washing machine and a series of someone telling me to "hold your breath" then "breath normally" this went on for around twenty minutes until all the dye had gone. Then that was it I was finished and time to go home. I found a toilet to put my bra back on and then headed out to meet Lee.
"Finished?"
"Yep free to go, the washing machine spin cycle is over" I chuckled. We headed back to the car now to find our way out of Leeds on the one way loop system this would be interesting... It took us half an hour and we ended up at St James's but we knew our way home from there so it wasn't too bad. We called at the doctors on the way home and I made an appointment for five o'clock. Unfortunately it was with a Doctor that I didn't like.
"Hi" I called as I walked back in from the doctors. Logan and Lee's voices greeted me. "I've done your tea it just needs warming through, do you want it now?"
"Yes please." I replied. "He's changed my pain medication to Oxycodone but its only 5mg I can take up to 10mg but its only every twelve hours I can use the Oxynorm liquid as a top up if its needed but only every four hours. Lets hope it works. Have you had tea?" I asked Lee and Logan.
"I had a fry up" Logan replied "It was very nice" he added.
"What about you?" I'll have some bolognese later Lee replied as he handed me a plate. Lee did that regularly, skipping meals I hoped he would have some later. Logan wanted to watch a film so we agreed we would wait until Jenna came home to see if she wanted to watch it as well.
We set off at nine o'clock as my appointment isn't until ten should be plenty of time. According to instructions we were to leave the motorway at junction two our first mistake was leaving at junction 2A. We realised straight away it was the wrong exit and rejoined the motorway to carry on, unfortunately this delayed us by about fifteen minutes due to traffic. This time we came off at junction two followed the directions and they were spot on. I was impressed, my sat nav normally gets me lost this was straight forward. We arrived at the hospital and the next job was to find a parking space we drove into the hospital where the Jubilee wing just as someone exited one of the disabled bays... we had a parking space yippee. One plus point about having cancer I now have a disabled badge lol. So we parked up and headed inside. We were fifteen minutes early I was given the usual form to fill in by the receptionist and told to take a seat. Next came the jug filled with a clear liquid and a cup I pulled a face.
"Its only water" the radiologist told me.
"What no aniseed?"
"No aniseed" she laughed.
"Oh thank god" I laughed with her.
"You need to drink it slow over the course of an hour but keep your last cup til we call for you"
"Yes fine" I nodded.
"Shall I go get some magazines then?" Lee asked.
"Yes please" I gave Lee my bank card and off he went.
At around quarter to eleven I was called through by a nurse to have my Cannula put in this enables the xray day to be put into you whilst you're having the scan and helps them highlight the tumours to see if they have shrunk any. I have a PICC line in my left arm as you probably all know by now I think I've mentioned it before that only leaves them one arm to use to get the Cannula in. Unfortunately my right arm is the worst one for veins. After the fourth attempt at the inside of my right elbow it was getting painful I do have a good vein there but it moves, tricky little beggar it is. Eventually the nurse gave up and went for a doctor.. its like this every three months (I had such good veins before my operation in 2010 now they've gone into hiding). The doctor came in and had a good look at my arm for a good ten minutes eventually she went for the vein in the bend of my wrist, it was painful but it was in. I just had to be careful not to bend my wrist before the x-ray. I got back out to the waiting room and Lee.
"You okay?" I showed him my wrist.
"It hurts like hell" I told him.
"It was a last resort trust me" I replied and sat down. I hadn't been sitting long when I was called in for the x-ray.
"Mrs McEvoy" ooh someone got it right my surname is pronounced Mac-a-voy, the most popular one I've had so for is Ma-key-voy I sound foreign and I'm not lol. I got up from my seat leaving my stuff with Lee.
"I hear we had some difficulty getting your cannula in?"
"Yes its the same every three months" I told him.
"So you've had CT scans before then?"
"Yes I'm used to them" I told him. When I got into the scanning room the radiographer asked me if I had an underwire bra on and the answer was yes I knew there was something I'd meant to do.
"If you just bob behind the curtain and take it off"
"That may be tricky with one arm" I told him and he looked at my wrist.
"I'll get a female nurse to help you" he told me. A woman appeared at my side.
"I've undone it I just need help getting this right arm out it hurts when I bend my wrist" she looked at the Cannula in my arm.
"That's a tricky spot isn't it?"
"Yes it was last resort" I explained. Bra removed the male radiographer came back into the room.
"Right Loraine only difference with us to St James's is that we get you to go in feet first. I just need you to finish your drink and lay down with your head on the pillow. So I take it you know to expect it to be noisy don't you?"
"Yes, washing machine on a spin cycle" I replied and he laughed.
"It won't be long. I'll inject the dye slowly because I think it may hurt if I don't. Is that a PICC line you have in?" He asked.
"Yes"
"Its a shame we can't use it but the dye we inject can cause the line to break which is why we're not allowed" he told me.
It was time to go in the washing machine and a series of someone telling me to "hold your breath" then "breath normally" this went on for around twenty minutes until all the dye had gone. Then that was it I was finished and time to go home. I found a toilet to put my bra back on and then headed out to meet Lee.
"Finished?"
"Yep free to go, the washing machine spin cycle is over" I chuckled. We headed back to the car now to find our way out of Leeds on the one way loop system this would be interesting... It took us half an hour and we ended up at St James's but we knew our way home from there so it wasn't too bad. We called at the doctors on the way home and I made an appointment for five o'clock. Unfortunately it was with a Doctor that I didn't like.
"Hi" I called as I walked back in from the doctors. Logan and Lee's voices greeted me. "I've done your tea it just needs warming through, do you want it now?"
"Yes please." I replied. "He's changed my pain medication to Oxycodone but its only 5mg I can take up to 10mg but its only every twelve hours I can use the Oxynorm liquid as a top up if its needed but only every four hours. Lets hope it works. Have you had tea?" I asked Lee and Logan.
"I had a fry up" Logan replied "It was very nice" he added.
"What about you?" I'll have some bolognese later Lee replied as he handed me a plate. Lee did that regularly, skipping meals I hoped he would have some later. Logan wanted to watch a film so we agreed we would wait until Jenna came home to see if she wanted to watch it as well.
Sunday, 29 January 2012
23rd January - And for my next trick!!
I don't know how many of you in Britain are aware of this but even though we have a benefits system its quite crap for those people that don't normally claim! Yes I'm on my soap box again. I've been off work since August last year now when I was diagnosed as having terminal cancer, as a result of this, and having time off work in 2010 when I was diagnosed with cancer, I have huge arrears built up on my mortgage. Back in September I heard of a scheme that Wakefield Council were running called the Mortgage Rescue Scheme and met with one of their mortgage rescue workers called Jane. Wakefield council help people who have gotten into arrears with their mortgage by submitting these cases to Yorkshire Housing association, a charitable housing association who will then step in and buy your house before its put under a repossession order and rent it back to you at a reduced rent. It seemed like the ideal way of staying here but not having a mortgage to worry about. When their mortgage worker came out and looked the house over she reckoned market value would be about one hundred and twenty thousand which meant it would pay my mortgage off and leave me some money left over, even better!! So when I got word from them that Yorkshire Housing were coming out to see me on Tuesday 24th I was over the moon thinking we could get things moving and finally we'd have some money... however, my life never was that simple.
"I'm afraid the independent valuers report has only valued the property at one hundred thousand pounds" he told me, and my heart sank.
"But one hundred thousand won't pay what I owe on the mortgage I owe one hundred and one and then there's the other debts that I have outstanding, I was hoping we would have enough to pay those as well" I explained crying.
"Maybe I didn't explain properly but let me talk you through it" Kevin said softly. "We have to make some profit so we only offer ninety percent of the valuation, our offer to HSBC will be for ninety thousand"
"Oh god that's worse" I moaned.
"But, in my experience they will accept it. If they were to go to repossession and auction it off they'd be lucky to get sixty thousand they know that so I doubt they will risk it." he explained.
"But theres the other debts as well" I told him. "A loan with HSBC from when I worked with them, an overdraft from my old bank account and several credit cards".
"Loraine, although we can't promise anything once we are involved in a lot of instances other debts are written off" he told me. "Those that aren't will be offered a very minimum repayment".
"Okay" I nodded. He then explained how he would need to look around the rest of the property and put down any areas he suspected may need looking at. This would be submitted to his Clerk of works named Fred who would then come out with a construction worker for Yorkshire housing and they would draw up a list of repairs. He left me paperwork and went for a tour of the house with Lee, my heart was breaking. I have worked so hard over the years buying the house in 2002 after my divorce and working hard to keep the mortgage going and keep a roof over our heads for the next ten years and now... now what will I have to show for it? Nothing! No profit whatsoever... I can honestly say I am gutted but I have no choice but to go ahead. There are repairs needed to the house which I can't afford to get done, meaning my house wouldn't sell on the open market, its six months since I paid the mortgage and HSBC will soon be moving for a repossession order so I have to sell!! I can't get any help with the mortgage through housing benefit because I can't claim it for a mortgage as they stopped that and only provide housing benefit for rented properties now apparently. So I get cancer, get told I'm terminal .. and now I have to say goodbye to my house... sometimes... life really sucks!!
"I'm afraid the independent valuers report has only valued the property at one hundred thousand pounds" he told me, and my heart sank.
"But one hundred thousand won't pay what I owe on the mortgage I owe one hundred and one and then there's the other debts that I have outstanding, I was hoping we would have enough to pay those as well" I explained crying.
"Maybe I didn't explain properly but let me talk you through it" Kevin said softly. "We have to make some profit so we only offer ninety percent of the valuation, our offer to HSBC will be for ninety thousand"
"Oh god that's worse" I moaned.
"But, in my experience they will accept it. If they were to go to repossession and auction it off they'd be lucky to get sixty thousand they know that so I doubt they will risk it." he explained.
"But theres the other debts as well" I told him. "A loan with HSBC from when I worked with them, an overdraft from my old bank account and several credit cards".
"Loraine, although we can't promise anything once we are involved in a lot of instances other debts are written off" he told me. "Those that aren't will be offered a very minimum repayment".
"Okay" I nodded. He then explained how he would need to look around the rest of the property and put down any areas he suspected may need looking at. This would be submitted to his Clerk of works named Fred who would then come out with a construction worker for Yorkshire housing and they would draw up a list of repairs. He left me paperwork and went for a tour of the house with Lee, my heart was breaking. I have worked so hard over the years buying the house in 2002 after my divorce and working hard to keep the mortgage going and keep a roof over our heads for the next ten years and now... now what will I have to show for it? Nothing! No profit whatsoever... I can honestly say I am gutted but I have no choice but to go ahead. There are repairs needed to the house which I can't afford to get done, meaning my house wouldn't sell on the open market, its six months since I paid the mortgage and HSBC will soon be moving for a repossession order so I have to sell!! I can't get any help with the mortgage through housing benefit because I can't claim it for a mortgage as they stopped that and only provide housing benefit for rented properties now apparently. So I get cancer, get told I'm terminal .. and now I have to say goodbye to my house... sometimes... life really sucks!!
16th January 2012 - When will things get better?
Married life doesn't really feel much different if I'm honest, it does feel more secure somehow though. We went down for breakfast yesterday morning and unfortunately for Lee I knocked over my mug of coffee which flew across the table and landed on his legs, his jeans were steaming.
"Oh god I'm so sorry"
"Its okay" he replied picking up the cup a waitress came over with some cleaning cloths.
"What happened?" She asked us.
"I caught the cup with my arm and it just went everywhere I'm so sorry" I apologised.
"One day married and she's chucking coffee at me" Lee joked, she didn't laugh obviously no sense of humour.
"Sorry love" I apologised again.
"Its okay it was an accident" Lee replied and gave me a kiss. "Are Elle and John still here?"
"Don't know they may have left already I'll text and ask" I picked up my phone and got up from the table to get some breakfast.
"Not sure I want anything, I'm not feeling too good", Lee replied. He didn't look good either he was pale and shivery. My phone beeped a message from Elle "We're still here heading down for breakfast soon".
"Elle and John are on there way" I told Lee as I ate my breakfast of beans, bacon, sausages, mushroom and scrambled egg.
"Oh right"
"You're feeling lousy aren't you?" He nodded.
"I'll have this cup of tea and then I'm gonna go back up and lie down okay?"
"Yeah that's fine" Elle and John appeared and we chatted as I finished breakfast.
"Sorry but I'm gonna have to go back to the room, I'm not feeling too good" Lee told them and gave me a kiss before he left the table.
"I don't know if he's hungover or ill" I told them both everyone was buying him drinks last night so it could be a hangover, but there's a bug going around so who knows".
"Oh I hope he feels better soon".
"Mm so do I otherwise today's gonna be pretty boring" I smiled. We said our goodbyes shortly after and I headed back upstairs to the room.
Lee wasn't well all day we went down to the bar for a drink around three but he'd felt really ill and had left only minutes later to go to the toilet in the room. I got up there and found him dripping with sweat looking as white a sheet. I'd helped him to bed and lay watching TV before falling asleep myself. It had been a long week after all and we were both exhausted. We'd ate in the room that night in case Lee felt ill again but by nine o'clock he was feeling lots better. We left the hotel the following day at noon and headed to my mums to collect the car.
Over the next couple of days we spent as much time as possible with Lee's parents before they headed back to Cyprus. It was sad saying bye not knowing when we would see them both again and when we dropped them at their hotel on the Tuesday evening there were a few pairs of eyes filled with tears mine included.
Then it was back to reality I got through information from work saying that my ill health retirement would commence from the 15th January along with my P45 and SSP1 forms. I filled in my Employment and Support Allowance confirmation pack with the missing information and then looked at evidence required for both of us. They wanted my P45 and sickness forms from work and required our marriage certificate. For Lee they wanted me to provide them with evidence such as Aeroplane tickets or his stamped passport to show him leaving the country in 2004 and returning in 2011. I rang them discussed, questioned, and eventually lost my rag. If I couldn't provide plane tickets for Lee, which obviously I couldn't, I mean do you have tickets from a flight you took in 2004? Then they required his stamped passport.... his passport hadn't been stamped... mine hasn't and I've been to Cyprus four times in the last year and Spain twice. If I couldn't provide this they wanted a letter from the home office to confirm his immigration status.... he wasn't an immigrant he was a British citizen, for gods sake!! I was fuming. Any lack of evidence sent could delay our claim and we were living on £125 a week now until our Employment and support allowance and lee's carer's allowance could be sorted out. In desperation we emailed our local MP to see if they could help and awaited a reply.
The following day which was the nineteenth of January we headed to the local Job centre to see if they could help us. We walked in hopeful only to be disappointed.
"We don't deal with Employment and Support Allowance you can use the phone" we headed to the phones on the wall and I waited and waited for an answer. Eventually I got one they still required the evidence what a waste of time!! I advised I wasn't willing to send original documents and so they advised me to get the job centre to endorse them as originals and they would deal with the evidence they got and take it from there. After half an hour the documents had been photocopied and my application was on its way but I didn't hold out much hope. On Friday the 20th we got good news though the MP was going to follow up our case and send letters to Employment and Support Allowance and to the Carers allowance team to see why the evidence was needed and see if they could push through our claims. We are still waiting nine days later!!
"Oh god I'm so sorry"
"Its okay" he replied picking up the cup a waitress came over with some cleaning cloths.
"What happened?" She asked us.
"I caught the cup with my arm and it just went everywhere I'm so sorry" I apologised.
"One day married and she's chucking coffee at me" Lee joked, she didn't laugh obviously no sense of humour.
"Sorry love" I apologised again.
"Its okay it was an accident" Lee replied and gave me a kiss. "Are Elle and John still here?"
"Don't know they may have left already I'll text and ask" I picked up my phone and got up from the table to get some breakfast.
"Not sure I want anything, I'm not feeling too good", Lee replied. He didn't look good either he was pale and shivery. My phone beeped a message from Elle "We're still here heading down for breakfast soon".
"Elle and John are on there way" I told Lee as I ate my breakfast of beans, bacon, sausages, mushroom and scrambled egg.
"Oh right"
"You're feeling lousy aren't you?" He nodded.
"I'll have this cup of tea and then I'm gonna go back up and lie down okay?"
"Yeah that's fine" Elle and John appeared and we chatted as I finished breakfast.
"Sorry but I'm gonna have to go back to the room, I'm not feeling too good" Lee told them and gave me a kiss before he left the table.
"I don't know if he's hungover or ill" I told them both everyone was buying him drinks last night so it could be a hangover, but there's a bug going around so who knows".
"Oh I hope he feels better soon".
"Mm so do I otherwise today's gonna be pretty boring" I smiled. We said our goodbyes shortly after and I headed back upstairs to the room.
Lee wasn't well all day we went down to the bar for a drink around three but he'd felt really ill and had left only minutes later to go to the toilet in the room. I got up there and found him dripping with sweat looking as white a sheet. I'd helped him to bed and lay watching TV before falling asleep myself. It had been a long week after all and we were both exhausted. We'd ate in the room that night in case Lee felt ill again but by nine o'clock he was feeling lots better. We left the hotel the following day at noon and headed to my mums to collect the car.
Over the next couple of days we spent as much time as possible with Lee's parents before they headed back to Cyprus. It was sad saying bye not knowing when we would see them both again and when we dropped them at their hotel on the Tuesday evening there were a few pairs of eyes filled with tears mine included.
Then it was back to reality I got through information from work saying that my ill health retirement would commence from the 15th January along with my P45 and SSP1 forms. I filled in my Employment and Support Allowance confirmation pack with the missing information and then looked at evidence required for both of us. They wanted my P45 and sickness forms from work and required our marriage certificate. For Lee they wanted me to provide them with evidence such as Aeroplane tickets or his stamped passport to show him leaving the country in 2004 and returning in 2011. I rang them discussed, questioned, and eventually lost my rag. If I couldn't provide plane tickets for Lee, which obviously I couldn't, I mean do you have tickets from a flight you took in 2004? Then they required his stamped passport.... his passport hadn't been stamped... mine hasn't and I've been to Cyprus four times in the last year and Spain twice. If I couldn't provide this they wanted a letter from the home office to confirm his immigration status.... he wasn't an immigrant he was a British citizen, for gods sake!! I was fuming. Any lack of evidence sent could delay our claim and we were living on £125 a week now until our Employment and support allowance and lee's carer's allowance could be sorted out. In desperation we emailed our local MP to see if they could help and awaited a reply.
The following day which was the nineteenth of January we headed to the local Job centre to see if they could help us. We walked in hopeful only to be disappointed.
"We don't deal with Employment and Support Allowance you can use the phone" we headed to the phones on the wall and I waited and waited for an answer. Eventually I got one they still required the evidence what a waste of time!! I advised I wasn't willing to send original documents and so they advised me to get the job centre to endorse them as originals and they would deal with the evidence they got and take it from there. After half an hour the documents had been photocopied and my application was on its way but I didn't hold out much hope. On Friday the 20th we got good news though the MP was going to follow up our case and send letters to Employment and Support Allowance and to the Carers allowance team to see why the evidence was needed and see if they could push through our claims. We are still waiting nine days later!!
Thursday, 26 January 2012
14th January 2012 - I do I do I do.
I awoke feeling happy and nervous at the same time... it was here our wedding day...I was due at the hairdressers first at quarter to ten.
"How you feeling?" Sue asked me.
"I'm crapping myself" I replied.
"Would you like a bacon sandwich?" Mum asked me.
"Yes please".
"How you feeling?"
"Nervous, crapping myself" I replied. We pretty much sat in silence until I was due to leave for the hairdressers. I was shaking like a leaf. It was only when Sue parked up that I remembered I'd left my tiara at home.
"Its okay its okay where is it I'll go get it for you?"
"Next to the bed" I told her and headed for the hairdressers whilst Sue headed back to mum and dads.
"Hi, I've got an appointment for Louise at quarter to ten"
"Okay I'll take your coat and if I can ask you to put this on please" the girl held out a black cape for me to put on and then showed me over to the sinks. "If you could sit on the second one for me please".
"Thanks" I followed her and sat down. Then Louise came over.
"So, how you feeling?"
"Nervous" I replied, "can't stop shaking" I added.
"You will be fine" she told me.
"Sue my friend and photographer has gone back for my tiara I left it behind in the rush. She wants to do some photos is that okay?"
"Yes no problem. I won't be drying your hair but Amy will and then I'll do the rest".
"Okay thanks".
"So are we going ahead with what we decided on the practice session?"
"Yes"
"Right then I'll leave you to get your hair washed".
I heard Sue arrive as I was getting my hair washed she took a seat and waited I was glad she didn't take photos as it was getting washed. Amy showed me over to a chair when Vicki came round the corner.
"Loraine I didn't realise you were coming in at this time, if Lorna wants to come earlier then she can if you want to give her a ring".
"Okay yes I'll ring her"
"Lorna its me Vicki says she can do your hair earlier than half ten and you can come now if you want?"
"Andy can you take me to hairdressers now?" I heard her ask. "Yes Andy says that fine tell her I'll be ten minutes"
"Okay." But Vicki had disappeared. "Sue can you tell Vicki Lorna will be up in ten minutes?"
"Yes no problem I'll tell her".
"Do you want a coffee?" Amy asked me.
"Yes coffee with milk and one sugar please"
"Sue?"
"Same please".
"Can you get me two coffee's please?" Amy asked a colleague, she nodded and went in the direction of the staff room to make them.
Louise appeared after Amy had dried my hair with a pair of straighteners and asked for some hair grips and then the process of putting my hair up began and Sue began taking photos. Then Lorna arrived and started getting her hair done by Vicki. It was eleven o'clock before I was finished just in time for the beauty salon where I was due at 11.15. As we left the hairdressers I bumped into my neighbour also called Sue.
"Well, what do you think?" I did a twirl in the town centre whilst grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh Loraine it looks gorgeous"
"Thanks, I will see you at my wedding later I've got the beauticians next".
"Ooh busy busy busy, see you there".
I walked through the town centre my tiara on my head feeling like a princess and we headed to the beauticians. As Sue and I entered Katherine the owner of the shop greeted us.
"Hello, ooh is it today you get married"
"It sure is" I laughed.
"Oh your hair looks gorgeous. Katy is waiting for you upstairs I need to pop out and get some sugar."
"Sue wants to take photos of me getting my nails done is that okay?"
"Of course it is anything we can do to make it go smoothly for you we will do". Katherine replied. "Go upstairs and take a seat". I walked up the stairs and Sue followed Katy waited smiling broadly.
"Your hair looks fantastic".
"Thanks".
"How you feeling?"
"Nervous my hands are shaking" I replied.
"You will be fine. So I'll do your feet first, okay?"
"Yep that's fine" I replied "It might relax me".
"Well I'm not taking photos of your feet" Sue said.
"Good I don't want you to" I laughed.
"What colour do you want for your toes?"
"I don't know really I'd not really thought about it"
"Have red" Sue said and we both laughed. Katy looked puzzled so I explained.
"Lee is a Leeds fan, hates red because he hates Manchester United so I was very tempted to wear red knickers today" I laughed and Katy and Sue joined in. "But, I won't have red, how about a hot pink?"
"This one?" Katy held out a pink.
"Yes perfect".
"Am I doing a french manicure on your fingernails?"
"Yes but not the bright white, the off white"
"No problem". It was going on for twelve before my feet were done and Katy started on my nails. Sue had already discovered the boys were in the Maypole in Ossett
"I saw Lorna's hair earlier it looked lovely and you look absolutely stunning" she told me. "Give me a hug" she held out her arms and we hugged. "Have a fabulous day love you deserve it".
"Thanks Anita".
"Ooh you look lovely" my mum told me as she came to the door and gave me a hug.
"Thanks mum, now where's that champagne I need a drink" I told her laughing.
"Whens Kim coming to do your make up?"
"Just after two. Louise is coming to get me dressed at two. What I'm gonna do is go up and change my stoma bag have you got a dressing gown I can put on?"
"Yes love I'll get you one".
"I have to go at two" Sue told me. "If you want me to take those bags for you get them packed now and I'll put them in the car for you".
"Oh yes right thanks Sue" I headed upstairs changed my stoma bag and packed my overnight bag for the hotel then handed it to Sue.
"Right I'm gonna go take some photos of the boys and I will see you at the venue".
"Thanks Sue ooh give us a hug. See you there" we said our goodbyes and I gulped down my champagne just as Louise arrived to get me dressed. I don't know if I've mentioned Louise before at this point but she is a mobile seamstress who did the alterations to my dress (which were needed due to the amount of weight I'd lost and because all wedding dresses are made for someone approximately five foot seven inches tall as apparently no women are five foot three ha ha), anyway Louise had seen the PICC line in my arm and the bandage that I was so desperate to cover up and had offered to come and get me dressed and use the wrap that came with the dress in a way in which it would cover my bandage. I'd been grateful to accept her offer and here she was.
"So how are you feeling?"
"Shaking like a leaf I just need to get my stockings and shoes on I won't be a minute I told her and continued to dress in the back bedroom whilst she took her coat off. Being a bride is a bit like having a baby you don't care about being nearly naked in front of a stranger. Anyway underwear on I was ready and Louise took my dress off the hanger and held it out in front of me.
"Ready?"
"Ready" I replied.
"Right this time instead of lifting your dress over your head you are going to step into it Loraine, I don't want to spoil your hair".
"Okay" as Louise held the dress still I stepped into it and she zipped it up at the side and then started on the ribbons of the corset at the back. It took a good fifteen minutes before she walked around the front of me.
"That looks fabulous, you look great, lets just sort out the wrap for you before you look" she placed it around my arms and tied it at the back and then fastened it with a broach. "Right that's it you're done" she told me. I grinned at her and opened the bedroom door and emerged into the hallway. Lorna was upstairs getting ready along with my mum.
"I'm ready just the make up to do" I said and they all emerged into the hall.
"Stunning, you look beautiful, oh mum how lovely" were just a few of the comments I received. I beamed back at all of them.
"Any sign of Kim yet?"
"A car has just pulled up outside" my dad answered.
"Jenna get the door I think Kim's here".
Kim arrived along with Simon and Krystyna, closely followed by Helen from Amaryllis with my flowers from our local flower shop.
"Come in" I said holding the door open as one by one they came in, Helen followed a big box in her hands filled with my bouquet, the bouquets for the bridesmaids and my mum and dads buttonholes. She showed my mum how to put the buttonholes on before leaving to take the remainder of the buttonholes up to a waiting Lee at our house.
"Right make up," Kim said in professional mode "can you sit on a chair by the window for me Loraine, its better for light. Can we have a towel?" she asked my mum, "no second thoughts can we have two towels, I can put one on her lap then make sure we don't get any make up on the dress".
"Yes no problem I'll go get you some" mum replied.
"Do you want champagne?" Lorna offered and Krystyna and Kim accepted.
"I'm driving" Simon replied.
"We have Coke?"
"No I'm fine thanks" Simon replied. The towels appeared and Kim began making me look gorgeous... as you may understand... it took a while ha ha. By three o'clock my make up was done, along with a couple of glasses of champagne as we waited for the cars. My dad appeared downstairs just as the cars arrived outside.
"Kim can you give Rosie a lift?" I asked. In all the rush I'd forgotten to arrange a lift.
"Yes course we can, come on love" Rosie smiled and followed her Krystyna and Simon to the car.
Next went Jenna and Lorna and my mum and I looked at my dad, "Ready?" he asked and I nodded. As I got outside I spotted Helen an old friend from HSBC she'd come to see me off and take some photos it was at that point I wished I'd invited her. There were tears in her eyes as she approached me.
"You look gorgeous" she said and gave me a hug.. "Have a fab day you deserve it".
"Thanks Helen" I stepped away and headed to the car waiting for me, dad was already inside. Carol my mums neighbour over the road came out and waved then my mums other neighbour also called Carol came out and waved too. I was giddy by this point the driver of the car gave me a hand to get in the car and I sat next to my dad. I felt like a princess and couldn't wait to see Lee as we set off.
When we arrived Sue took a few photos before letting us go in and we arranged with the driver to wait til we were married and then drive us to the hotel where we would check in and drop our bags off. Then I entered the building with my dad, we were greeted by Jane our wedding coordinator at Woodkirk and the registrar marrying me and Lee.
"Sorry we're a little early. I just couldn't wait any longer"
"Well we are all ready you can wait ten minutes or we can go ahead everyone is seated anyway"
"No that's fine we can go ahead now but I need to just nip to the loo and sort something out first"
"Do you want me to come help you?" Jane asked.
"Would you mind?"
"Of course not" she followed me into the toilets. "Whats wrong?"
"Its my stocking its almost around my ankle" I laughed. "God I'm nervous"
"Here you hold your dress and I'll pull it up." she instructed and hitched the stocking up for me."There is that alright?"
"Yes that's fine" I nodded and we headed back outside where my bridesmaids were waiting. Keeley a child of one of Lee's friends was wearing a dress similar in colour to my bridesmaids and he had talked her into being a flower girl for us. She stood smiling with Lorna and Jenna.
"Thank you for this Keeley" I smiled at the little girl and she smiled back. Bon Jovi Bed of roses faded out and our song by Lonestar, Amazed began to play I took some deep breaths as I listened to the introduction.
"Ready?"
"Ready" I smiled a nervous smile and watched as the bridesmaids began to walk in front of me. I grabbed hold of my dads arm a little tighter and we began to walk slowly behind them.
Lee turned to look at me and I grabbed his hand he had tears in his eyes just like me. I squeezed his hand tightly.
"You look stunning"
"Thanks you don't look so bad yourself" I replied and smiled. All our guests became quiet and the music stopped and our ceremony began.
"We are here today to celebrate the marriage of Lee McEvoy and Loraine Mooney. On their behalf I would like to welcome you all to Woodkirk Valley Country Club. I am sure it means a great deal to them that you can be here to share their happiness on this occasion. This place in which we are now met has been duly sanctioned, according to law, for the celebration of marriages. You are here to witness the joining in matrimony of Lee McEvoy and Loraine Mooney. If any person present knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage he or she should declare it now".
Silence. I smiled at Lee and we turned to face each other his eyes were still brimmed with tears as were mine and I willed myself and him not to cry.
Lee and Loraine before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman, voluntarily entered into for life to the exclusion of all others. The purpose of marriage is that you may always love, care for and support each other through all the joys and sorrows of life; and that love may be fulfilled in a relationship of permanent and continuing commitment. Today Lee and Loraine wish to publicly affirm this commitment and offer each other the security that comes from legally binding vows sincerely made and faithfully kept. Now I am going to ask each of you in turn to declare that you know of no lawful reason why you should not be married to each other.Will the bridegroom please say the following words after me." Lee looked nervous as he repeated the words of the registrar.
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I Lee may not be joined in matrimony to Loraine". Then it was my turn and I smiled nervously as I looked at Lee and repeated the words.
"Now the moment has come for Lee and Loraine to contract their marriage before you, their witnesses, family and friends. Will all that are able please stand?" Then she turned to Luke "Can we have the rings please" he pretended to have lost them which lightened the mood and everyone laughed.
"How you feeling?" Sue asked me.
"I'm crapping myself" I replied.
"Would you like a bacon sandwich?" Mum asked me.
"Yes please".
"How you feeling?"
"Nervous, crapping myself" I replied. We pretty much sat in silence until I was due to leave for the hairdressers. I was shaking like a leaf. It was only when Sue parked up that I remembered I'd left my tiara at home.
"Its okay its okay where is it I'll go get it for you?"
"Next to the bed" I told her and headed for the hairdressers whilst Sue headed back to mum and dads.
"Hi, I've got an appointment for Louise at quarter to ten"
"Okay I'll take your coat and if I can ask you to put this on please" the girl held out a black cape for me to put on and then showed me over to the sinks. "If you could sit on the second one for me please".
"Thanks" I followed her and sat down. Then Louise came over.
"So, how you feeling?"
"Nervous" I replied, "can't stop shaking" I added.
"You will be fine" she told me.
"Sue my friend and photographer has gone back for my tiara I left it behind in the rush. She wants to do some photos is that okay?"
"Yes no problem. I won't be drying your hair but Amy will and then I'll do the rest".
"Okay thanks".
"So are we going ahead with what we decided on the practice session?"
"Yes"
"Right then I'll leave you to get your hair washed".
I heard Sue arrive as I was getting my hair washed she took a seat and waited I was glad she didn't take photos as it was getting washed. Amy showed me over to a chair when Vicki came round the corner.
"Loraine I didn't realise you were coming in at this time, if Lorna wants to come earlier then she can if you want to give her a ring".
"Okay yes I'll ring her"
"Lorna its me Vicki says she can do your hair earlier than half ten and you can come now if you want?"
"Andy can you take me to hairdressers now?" I heard her ask. "Yes Andy says that fine tell her I'll be ten minutes"
"Okay." But Vicki had disappeared. "Sue can you tell Vicki Lorna will be up in ten minutes?"
"Yes no problem I'll tell her".
"Do you want a coffee?" Amy asked me.
"Yes coffee with milk and one sugar please"
"Sue?"
"Same please".
"Can you get me two coffee's please?" Amy asked a colleague, she nodded and went in the direction of the staff room to make them.
Louise appeared after Amy had dried my hair with a pair of straighteners and asked for some hair grips and then the process of putting my hair up began and Sue began taking photos. Then Lorna arrived and started getting her hair done by Vicki. It was eleven o'clock before I was finished just in time for the beauty salon where I was due at 11.15. As we left the hairdressers I bumped into my neighbour also called Sue.
"Well, what do you think?" I did a twirl in the town centre whilst grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh Loraine it looks gorgeous"
"Thanks, I will see you at my wedding later I've got the beauticians next".
"Ooh busy busy busy, see you there".
I walked through the town centre my tiara on my head feeling like a princess and we headed to the beauticians. As Sue and I entered Katherine the owner of the shop greeted us.
"Hello, ooh is it today you get married"
"It sure is" I laughed.
"Oh your hair looks gorgeous. Katy is waiting for you upstairs I need to pop out and get some sugar."
"Sue wants to take photos of me getting my nails done is that okay?"
"Of course it is anything we can do to make it go smoothly for you we will do". Katherine replied. "Go upstairs and take a seat". I walked up the stairs and Sue followed Katy waited smiling broadly.
"Your hair looks fantastic".
"Thanks".
"How you feeling?"
"Nervous my hands are shaking" I replied.
"You will be fine. So I'll do your feet first, okay?"
"Yep that's fine" I replied "It might relax me".
"Well I'm not taking photos of your feet" Sue said.
"Good I don't want you to" I laughed.
"What colour do you want for your toes?"
"I don't know really I'd not really thought about it"
"Have red" Sue said and we both laughed. Katy looked puzzled so I explained.
"Lee is a Leeds fan, hates red because he hates Manchester United so I was very tempted to wear red knickers today" I laughed and Katy and Sue joined in. "But, I won't have red, how about a hot pink?"
"This one?" Katy held out a pink.
"Yes perfect".
"Am I doing a french manicure on your fingernails?"
"Yes but not the bright white, the off white"
"No problem". It was going on for twelve before my feet were done and Katy started on my nails. Sue had already discovered the boys were in the Maypole in Ossett
"I saw Lorna's hair earlier it looked lovely and you look absolutely stunning" she told me. "Give me a hug" she held out her arms and we hugged. "Have a fabulous day love you deserve it".
"Thanks Anita".
"Ooh you look lovely" my mum told me as she came to the door and gave me a hug.
"Thanks mum, now where's that champagne I need a drink" I told her laughing.
"Whens Kim coming to do your make up?"
"Just after two. Louise is coming to get me dressed at two. What I'm gonna do is go up and change my stoma bag have you got a dressing gown I can put on?"
"Yes love I'll get you one".
"I have to go at two" Sue told me. "If you want me to take those bags for you get them packed now and I'll put them in the car for you".
"Oh yes right thanks Sue" I headed upstairs changed my stoma bag and packed my overnight bag for the hotel then handed it to Sue.
"Right I'm gonna go take some photos of the boys and I will see you at the venue".
"Thanks Sue ooh give us a hug. See you there" we said our goodbyes and I gulped down my champagne just as Louise arrived to get me dressed. I don't know if I've mentioned Louise before at this point but she is a mobile seamstress who did the alterations to my dress (which were needed due to the amount of weight I'd lost and because all wedding dresses are made for someone approximately five foot seven inches tall as apparently no women are five foot three ha ha), anyway Louise had seen the PICC line in my arm and the bandage that I was so desperate to cover up and had offered to come and get me dressed and use the wrap that came with the dress in a way in which it would cover my bandage. I'd been grateful to accept her offer and here she was.
"So how are you feeling?"
"Shaking like a leaf I just need to get my stockings and shoes on I won't be a minute I told her and continued to dress in the back bedroom whilst she took her coat off. Being a bride is a bit like having a baby you don't care about being nearly naked in front of a stranger. Anyway underwear on I was ready and Louise took my dress off the hanger and held it out in front of me.
"Ready?"
"Ready" I replied.
"Right this time instead of lifting your dress over your head you are going to step into it Loraine, I don't want to spoil your hair".
"Okay" as Louise held the dress still I stepped into it and she zipped it up at the side and then started on the ribbons of the corset at the back. It took a good fifteen minutes before she walked around the front of me.
"That looks fabulous, you look great, lets just sort out the wrap for you before you look" she placed it around my arms and tied it at the back and then fastened it with a broach. "Right that's it you're done" she told me. I grinned at her and opened the bedroom door and emerged into the hallway. Lorna was upstairs getting ready along with my mum.
"I'm ready just the make up to do" I said and they all emerged into the hall.
"Stunning, you look beautiful, oh mum how lovely" were just a few of the comments I received. I beamed back at all of them.
"Any sign of Kim yet?"
"A car has just pulled up outside" my dad answered.
"Jenna get the door I think Kim's here".
Kim arrived along with Simon and Krystyna, closely followed by Helen from Amaryllis with my flowers from our local flower shop.
"Come in" I said holding the door open as one by one they came in, Helen followed a big box in her hands filled with my bouquet, the bouquets for the bridesmaids and my mum and dads buttonholes. She showed my mum how to put the buttonholes on before leaving to take the remainder of the buttonholes up to a waiting Lee at our house.
"Right make up," Kim said in professional mode "can you sit on a chair by the window for me Loraine, its better for light. Can we have a towel?" she asked my mum, "no second thoughts can we have two towels, I can put one on her lap then make sure we don't get any make up on the dress".
"Yes no problem I'll go get you some" mum replied.
"Do you want champagne?" Lorna offered and Krystyna and Kim accepted.
"I'm driving" Simon replied.
"We have Coke?"
"No I'm fine thanks" Simon replied. The towels appeared and Kim began making me look gorgeous... as you may understand... it took a while ha ha. By three o'clock my make up was done, along with a couple of glasses of champagne as we waited for the cars. My dad appeared downstairs just as the cars arrived outside.
"Kim can you give Rosie a lift?" I asked. In all the rush I'd forgotten to arrange a lift.
"Yes course we can, come on love" Rosie smiled and followed her Krystyna and Simon to the car.
Next went Jenna and Lorna and my mum and I looked at my dad, "Ready?" he asked and I nodded. As I got outside I spotted Helen an old friend from HSBC she'd come to see me off and take some photos it was at that point I wished I'd invited her. There were tears in her eyes as she approached me.
"You look gorgeous" she said and gave me a hug.. "Have a fab day you deserve it".
"Thanks Helen" I stepped away and headed to the car waiting for me, dad was already inside. Carol my mums neighbour over the road came out and waved then my mums other neighbour also called Carol came out and waved too. I was giddy by this point the driver of the car gave me a hand to get in the car and I sat next to my dad. I felt like a princess and couldn't wait to see Lee as we set off.
When we arrived Sue took a few photos before letting us go in and we arranged with the driver to wait til we were married and then drive us to the hotel where we would check in and drop our bags off. Then I entered the building with my dad, we were greeted by Jane our wedding coordinator at Woodkirk and the registrar marrying me and Lee.
"Sorry we're a little early. I just couldn't wait any longer"
"Well we are all ready you can wait ten minutes or we can go ahead everyone is seated anyway"
"No that's fine we can go ahead now but I need to just nip to the loo and sort something out first"
"Do you want me to come help you?" Jane asked.
"Would you mind?"
"Of course not" she followed me into the toilets. "Whats wrong?"
"Its my stocking its almost around my ankle" I laughed. "God I'm nervous"
"Here you hold your dress and I'll pull it up." she instructed and hitched the stocking up for me."There is that alright?"
"Yes that's fine" I nodded and we headed back outside where my bridesmaids were waiting. Keeley a child of one of Lee's friends was wearing a dress similar in colour to my bridesmaids and he had talked her into being a flower girl for us. She stood smiling with Lorna and Jenna.
"Thank you for this Keeley" I smiled at the little girl and she smiled back. Bon Jovi Bed of roses faded out and our song by Lonestar, Amazed began to play I took some deep breaths as I listened to the introduction.
"Ready?"
"Ready" I smiled a nervous smile and watched as the bridesmaids began to walk in front of me. I grabbed hold of my dads arm a little tighter and we began to walk slowly behind them.
Lee turned to look at me and I grabbed his hand he had tears in his eyes just like me. I squeezed his hand tightly.
"You look stunning"
"Thanks you don't look so bad yourself" I replied and smiled. All our guests became quiet and the music stopped and our ceremony began.
"We are here today to celebrate the marriage of Lee McEvoy and Loraine Mooney. On their behalf I would like to welcome you all to Woodkirk Valley Country Club. I am sure it means a great deal to them that you can be here to share their happiness on this occasion. This place in which we are now met has been duly sanctioned, according to law, for the celebration of marriages. You are here to witness the joining in matrimony of Lee McEvoy and Loraine Mooney. If any person present knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage he or she should declare it now".
Silence. I smiled at Lee and we turned to face each other his eyes were still brimmed with tears as were mine and I willed myself and him not to cry.
Lee and Loraine before you are joined in matrimony I have to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage according to the law of this country is the union of one man with one woman, voluntarily entered into for life to the exclusion of all others. The purpose of marriage is that you may always love, care for and support each other through all the joys and sorrows of life; and that love may be fulfilled in a relationship of permanent and continuing commitment. Today Lee and Loraine wish to publicly affirm this commitment and offer each other the security that comes from legally binding vows sincerely made and faithfully kept. Now I am going to ask each of you in turn to declare that you know of no lawful reason why you should not be married to each other.Will the bridegroom please say the following words after me." Lee looked nervous as he repeated the words of the registrar.
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I Lee may not be joined in matrimony to Loraine". Then it was my turn and I smiled nervously as I looked at Lee and repeated the words.
"Now the moment has come for Lee and Loraine to contract their marriage before you, their witnesses, family and friends. Will all that are able please stand?" Then she turned to Luke "Can we have the rings please" he pretended to have lost them which lightened the mood and everyone laughed.
"Will the bridegroom please say the following words after me whilst holding the ring on Loraine's finger."
"Loraine I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage, as a token of my love and affection and as a symbol of our commitment to each other. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I Lee. do take thee Loraine to be my lawful wedded wife. I promise to love and care for you, honour and respect you and share with you all that I have but I've only got twenty quid in my pocket." Everyone laughed including those that had been crying and the registrar. Lee waited then continued "May we look forward to our future together with hope and happiness and always remember the feelings we share for each other on this our wedding day." Then it was my turn I was still laughing although my eyes were still filled with tears as I repeated the same vows.
"Lee and Loraine you have both made the declarations prescribed by law and have made your promises to one another in the presence of your witnesses here today. Let us hope that this day will form a special day in your lives to look upon with much love and happiness." The rings were on our fingers and we both grinned at each other broadly. Lee lent over to kiss me.
"Not yet!" The registrar laughed.
"Sorry" Lee smiled at her.
"Lee and Loraine it gives me great pleasure to declare that you are now husband and wife. Lee you may kiss the bride". We kissed and everyone clapped, cameras went off then we sat at the table to sign the marriage certificate.
We went for a ride in the wedding car to the hotel and Lee went to check us in. Sue and Nick had followed in their car to take photographs and Sue took a few shots as Lee was in the hotel with Nick. It was turning cold and Sue got in the car with me, whilst we waited for Lee and Nick to re-appear. Sue had a sip of champagne and I finished what was in my glass.
"I'm so happy for you"
"Thanks Sue".
"Do you feel any different?"
"Happier" I told her smiling.
"I noticed you haven't stopped grinning all day"
"I know" we hugged and Sue left the car just as Lee re-appeared and got back in the car beside me.
"The hotel room is gorgeous" Lee told me.
"Good can't wait" I told him.
When we got back to the venue the room was very busy. The bar was crowded and it was very loud. Jane sat Lee and I on two posh chairs to introduce us to the room, then Lee decided he needed the loo and off he went. After what seemed like ten minutes he re-appeared I'm pretty sure he was outside having a cigarette. Jane hit a gabble against the bar and introduced us to the room so we could go take our seats along with everyone else.
Unfortunately, a lot of the seats around the tables were empty, some people had told us and we'd filled their seats earlier in the week with people just coming during the evening. Some people however had let us know at the last minute and their seats were empty which I'd expected. However some seats now were empty due to people not bothering to let me know and that was quite upsetting especially as their meals were paid for something we could ill afford to start with. I was a little upset but the people here were the ones that mattered and I tried to put it out of my mind. The speeches went well, Logan even got up and did a little unprepared speech which I hadn't been expecting and I felt very proud. Everyone looked stunning around me and I was really impressed with the effort everyone that had turned up had made.
The meal was out of this world and the staff at the venue did us proud as the service was really brilliant. Everyone seemed to be having a good time Sue started taking group photos in the room where we'd said our vows and things were ticking along nicely. Just after seven our evening guests started arriving. I was thrilled to see old and new friends and introduced Lee to as many as I could but it was all a little hectic to say the least. It was after nine as the barbecue was getting laid out for our evening guests when I realised how little of them had turned up. We'd catered for another fifty arriving at night, however there were less than twenty evening guests that showed up, again another waste of money. We had had some last minute cancellations for the evening but only for twelve people, certainly not for thirty eight. However, the empty dance floor didn't put us off and we all had a great time. All too soon it was midnight and people began to leave Lee and I ordered a taxi and were the last to leave the venue as we headed to the hotel to check in.
"Oh wow its gorgeous isn't it?" I said to Lee as we entered the room.
"I told you it was nice" Lee replied as I opened the door to the bathroom, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Lee you have to come and see this" I laughed as he came along to the bathroom and I opened the door. The back wall of the bathroom was brick red... Lee's face was a picture.
"Did you arrange this?" He asked and I laughed.
"Sorry" I apologised still laughing.
"Its okay Mrs McEvoy I'll let you off".
"I'm so happy for you"
"Thanks Sue".
"Do you feel any different?"
"Happier" I told her smiling.
"I noticed you haven't stopped grinning all day"
"I know" we hugged and Sue left the car just as Lee re-appeared and got back in the car beside me.
"The hotel room is gorgeous" Lee told me.
"Good can't wait" I told him.
When we got back to the venue the room was very busy. The bar was crowded and it was very loud. Jane sat Lee and I on two posh chairs to introduce us to the room, then Lee decided he needed the loo and off he went. After what seemed like ten minutes he re-appeared I'm pretty sure he was outside having a cigarette. Jane hit a gabble against the bar and introduced us to the room so we could go take our seats along with everyone else.
Unfortunately, a lot of the seats around the tables were empty, some people had told us and we'd filled their seats earlier in the week with people just coming during the evening. Some people however had let us know at the last minute and their seats were empty which I'd expected. However some seats now were empty due to people not bothering to let me know and that was quite upsetting especially as their meals were paid for something we could ill afford to start with. I was a little upset but the people here were the ones that mattered and I tried to put it out of my mind. The speeches went well, Logan even got up and did a little unprepared speech which I hadn't been expecting and I felt very proud. Everyone looked stunning around me and I was really impressed with the effort everyone that had turned up had made.
The meal was out of this world and the staff at the venue did us proud as the service was really brilliant. Everyone seemed to be having a good time Sue started taking group photos in the room where we'd said our vows and things were ticking along nicely. Just after seven our evening guests started arriving. I was thrilled to see old and new friends and introduced Lee to as many as I could but it was all a little hectic to say the least. It was after nine as the barbecue was getting laid out for our evening guests when I realised how little of them had turned up. We'd catered for another fifty arriving at night, however there were less than twenty evening guests that showed up, again another waste of money. We had had some last minute cancellations for the evening but only for twelve people, certainly not for thirty eight. However, the empty dance floor didn't put us off and we all had a great time. All too soon it was midnight and people began to leave Lee and I ordered a taxi and were the last to leave the venue as we headed to the hotel to check in.
"Oh wow its gorgeous isn't it?" I said to Lee as we entered the room.
"I told you it was nice" Lee replied as I opened the door to the bathroom, I couldn't help but laugh.
"Lee you have to come and see this" I laughed as he came along to the bathroom and I opened the door. The back wall of the bathroom was brick red... Lee's face was a picture.
"Did you arrange this?" He asked and I laughed.
"Sorry" I apologised still laughing.
"Its okay Mrs McEvoy I'll let you off".
Monday, 23 January 2012
2nd January - 13th January - Wedding plans...
It is such a busy time organising a wedding and to be honest its driving me nuts. We need to get our final guest list and numbers in before 6th January and just when I think we are getting there ... it all falls to pieces again.
First of all there's the table plan. I've given Lee the job of designing it and I'm doing the organisation of the tables and who is sitting where...its trickier than I thought. Anyway we bought a big canvas board and lots of gold stickers to decorate it with. On the top Lee wrote Mr & Mrs McEvoy would like to welcome you all on our Wedding Day. That was quite funny as he kept loosing letters there were three of each. First of all he lost an M so we decided turn the W's upside down and use them, then we realised we wouldn't have enough W's and were just deciding what to do when the M re-appeared attached to the chair.... (I think it was Lisa's idea of a joke). I don't know if I've written in my blog about Lisa my best friend she died five years ago suddenly after collapsing she'd had a bleed on her brain and never came round. Anyway, I'm very spiritual and I feel her around me all the time. I loose things and just say out loud "Lisa, I've lost so and so, can you help me find it" and whatever I've lost will re-appear usually in a place I've already looked. Anyway as Lee worked on the table planner I concentrated on the seating. On the 5th January I got word that eight people we invited weren't coming, then the following day another two cancelled. I hurriedly moved people that were coming at night to the daytime so we wouldn't loose too much money. The venue was paid we had paid £20.50 for ninety people during the day and £14 for one hundred and thirty people to come at night. As Friday neared more and more people cancelled and I was really freaking out. What else could go wrong? My mum and dad re-assured me the people that were coming were the people who count but it didn't get any easier as more people said they were skint and couldn't afford to come. I was gutted.
We submitted our Table plans to the venue on Friday 6th January with as much detail of seating as we could. Our numbers had dropped from 90 to 80 during the day so we'd overpaid by two hundred pounds on the daytime reception. Evening guests had dropped by about twelve people but we hadn't catered for all one hundred and fifty invited anyway as we had counted on the daytime guests not being overly hungry after eating at five so we'd reduced the numbers by twenty and decided to keep these the same.
Then, the following Tuesday dawned and things went from bad to worse our DJ and his girlfriend advised they were too skint to make it. Lee was fuming and I was well gutted... what could we do? Four days before the wedding and no DJ we rang our venue and asked if there was anything they could do? They advised they'd get back to us luckily on the Wednesday morning and advised that their DJ could do it and we just had to ring him with our first dance song and any other song choices we wanted him to have available. Then Lee's parents rang they were flying to us via Heathrow arriving in Heathrow on the Wednesday and then flying up to Manchester on the Thursday. They had been seated on the plane for two hours when they were advised there was an engine fault and they had to get off. They were being put up in the hotel overnight in Larnaca but hadn't a clue when they would get a plane. Then I had the news that my flower girl and her family had cancelled we were another six down..that was another one £120 gone. And we had to find a further £120 to pay for the new DJ. Our one who had been coming was doing it as a present we hadn't allocated a further £120 and I was crapping myself about finding the money... but after moving this that and the other around we scraped the money together and I rang the payment through. Rosi our friend from Cyprus and Luke's ex girlfriend arrived on Wednesday evening. Lee had gone to the supermarket for some crisps and booze for us both. Jenna announced they were going out and I questioned how she could afford it, she had kept telling me she had money left but I had no idea why. Even though I'd been ill I'd been watching what she was spending and I was sure she had spent more than her wage. She re-assured me she has budgeted for our wedding and had money left so off they headed out for the night. Then finally some good news Lee's mum and Dad had left Larnaca and would arrive with us on Thursday around 7pm. And Luke, Lee's best friend was arriving on Friday morning. Things were coming together finally.
We met Lee's mum Steph and dad Barry at the train station on Thursday evening and took them to their hotel to drop their bags off. Only when we arrived we had the wrong hotel haha. They had booked in at the Premier Inn in Wakefield. Unfortunately they were three Premier Inn hotels in Wakefield I knew of two but not the third one...after having some food at the HolmfieldSteph and Barry along to meet them all prior to the wedding.
So, the following day we headed for the train station first to pick Luke up. We were waiting at Wakefield westgate when he text me to say he was arriving at Wakefield Kirkgate station. Lee and I jumped in the car and headed to pick him up. It was lovely seeing Luke again lots of hugging went on before we headed to pick up Steph and Barry they were at the Red Kite it was around 12.30 when we joined them. Barry bought a round of drinks in and we sat there for a while chatting about the wedding etc. I felt relaxed for the first time in ages I was still horrified that we had had so many people cancel but it couldn't be helped. We had a laugh before heading to our house around 3 o'clock. Logan was already there when we arrived and I told him we were going to head to the Maypole for tea however, there wasn't enough room in the car. I had my bag packed as I was staying overnight at my mums and Sue had advised me that she would be arriving around seven. Logan, Luke, Rosi and Jenna set off walking to the pub and we headed down in the car with Barry and Steph. There was a change in Logan I noticed it straight away he was so grown up suddenly and a lot more attentive to me. We had a lovely meal and a few drinks at the Maypole and headed down for my mum and dads around six thirty. It was a full house when we arrived. Aunt Magaret, Uncle Iain, Ross and Clare, Lorna, Andy and Aunt Mary and Uncle Douglas were already there. We parked up the car and headed in. Lee, Barry, Steph then Rosi and Luke were all introduced and we sat drinking and chatting. Everyone was getting on and Barry even took an interest in my dads soldier collection he was beaming as he proudly showed them off. Then Missy Moo arrived complete with camera equipment and folding bed to sleep in. My dad was greeted as Victor (she calls him Victor Meldrew) to be fair I can see a resemblance in the way they act. My dad greeted sue as Sue, Sue, barney mcgrew, cuthbert, dibble and grub he's done that since they first met, they wind each other up and its amusing to watch. Shortly after Sue arrived my Aunt Mary, Uncle Douglas, Aunt Mags, Uncle Iain, Ross and Clare left as they had booked their dinner for seven thirty. We all said our goodbyes and waited for the arrival of my Aunt Shirley, Uncle Alan and their son David and his girlfriend Jodie. Elle and John were coming but were going to stay at the hotel as Elle is six months pregnant so they would see us at the wedding. It was a lovely evening Lee and his parents stayed until about nine then headed off, Lee and Luke, Logan and the girls to the pub, and Lee's mum and dad to the hotel. Then Lorna and Andy left to collect Jordan from work and shortly afterwards my Uncle Alan, Aunt Shirley, David and Jodi left too. My dad disappeared to the pub and that left Sue, my mum and I. By eleven I was knackered and headed to bed leaving them both chatting downstairs. Tomorrow, is my wedding day...now the nerves are kicking in!
First of all there's the table plan. I've given Lee the job of designing it and I'm doing the organisation of the tables and who is sitting where...its trickier than I thought. Anyway we bought a big canvas board and lots of gold stickers to decorate it with. On the top Lee wrote Mr & Mrs McEvoy would like to welcome you all on our Wedding Day. That was quite funny as he kept loosing letters there were three of each. First of all he lost an M so we decided turn the W's upside down and use them, then we realised we wouldn't have enough W's and were just deciding what to do when the M re-appeared attached to the chair.... (I think it was Lisa's idea of a joke). I don't know if I've written in my blog about Lisa my best friend she died five years ago suddenly after collapsing she'd had a bleed on her brain and never came round. Anyway, I'm very spiritual and I feel her around me all the time. I loose things and just say out loud "Lisa, I've lost so and so, can you help me find it" and whatever I've lost will re-appear usually in a place I've already looked. Anyway as Lee worked on the table planner I concentrated on the seating. On the 5th January I got word that eight people we invited weren't coming, then the following day another two cancelled. I hurriedly moved people that were coming at night to the daytime so we wouldn't loose too much money. The venue was paid we had paid £20.50 for ninety people during the day and £14 for one hundred and thirty people to come at night. As Friday neared more and more people cancelled and I was really freaking out. What else could go wrong? My mum and dad re-assured me the people that were coming were the people who count but it didn't get any easier as more people said they were skint and couldn't afford to come. I was gutted.
We submitted our Table plans to the venue on Friday 6th January with as much detail of seating as we could. Our numbers had dropped from 90 to 80 during the day so we'd overpaid by two hundred pounds on the daytime reception. Evening guests had dropped by about twelve people but we hadn't catered for all one hundred and fifty invited anyway as we had counted on the daytime guests not being overly hungry after eating at five so we'd reduced the numbers by twenty and decided to keep these the same.
Then, the following Tuesday dawned and things went from bad to worse our DJ and his girlfriend advised they were too skint to make it. Lee was fuming and I was well gutted... what could we do? Four days before the wedding and no DJ we rang our venue and asked if there was anything they could do? They advised they'd get back to us luckily on the Wednesday morning and advised that their DJ could do it and we just had to ring him with our first dance song and any other song choices we wanted him to have available. Then Lee's parents rang they were flying to us via Heathrow arriving in Heathrow on the Wednesday and then flying up to Manchester on the Thursday. They had been seated on the plane for two hours when they were advised there was an engine fault and they had to get off. They were being put up in the hotel overnight in Larnaca but hadn't a clue when they would get a plane. Then I had the news that my flower girl and her family had cancelled we were another six down..that was another one £120 gone. And we had to find a further £120 to pay for the new DJ. Our one who had been coming was doing it as a present we hadn't allocated a further £120 and I was crapping myself about finding the money... but after moving this that and the other around we scraped the money together and I rang the payment through. Rosi our friend from Cyprus and Luke's ex girlfriend arrived on Wednesday evening. Lee had gone to the supermarket for some crisps and booze for us both. Jenna announced they were going out and I questioned how she could afford it, she had kept telling me she had money left but I had no idea why. Even though I'd been ill I'd been watching what she was spending and I was sure she had spent more than her wage. She re-assured me she has budgeted for our wedding and had money left so off they headed out for the night. Then finally some good news Lee's mum and Dad had left Larnaca and would arrive with us on Thursday around 7pm. And Luke, Lee's best friend was arriving on Friday morning. Things were coming together finally.
We met Lee's mum Steph and dad Barry at the train station on Thursday evening and took them to their hotel to drop their bags off. Only when we arrived we had the wrong hotel haha. They had booked in at the Premier Inn in Wakefield. Unfortunately they were three Premier Inn hotels in Wakefield I knew of two but not the third one...after having some food at the HolmfieldSteph and Barry along to meet them all prior to the wedding.
So, the following day we headed for the train station first to pick Luke up. We were waiting at Wakefield westgate when he text me to say he was arriving at Wakefield Kirkgate station. Lee and I jumped in the car and headed to pick him up. It was lovely seeing Luke again lots of hugging went on before we headed to pick up Steph and Barry they were at the Red Kite it was around 12.30 when we joined them. Barry bought a round of drinks in and we sat there for a while chatting about the wedding etc. I felt relaxed for the first time in ages I was still horrified that we had had so many people cancel but it couldn't be helped. We had a laugh before heading to our house around 3 o'clock. Logan was already there when we arrived and I told him we were going to head to the Maypole for tea however, there wasn't enough room in the car. I had my bag packed as I was staying overnight at my mums and Sue had advised me that she would be arriving around seven. Logan, Luke, Rosi and Jenna set off walking to the pub and we headed down in the car with Barry and Steph. There was a change in Logan I noticed it straight away he was so grown up suddenly and a lot more attentive to me. We had a lovely meal and a few drinks at the Maypole and headed down for my mum and dads around six thirty. It was a full house when we arrived. Aunt Magaret, Uncle Iain, Ross and Clare, Lorna, Andy and Aunt Mary and Uncle Douglas were already there. We parked up the car and headed in. Lee, Barry, Steph then Rosi and Luke were all introduced and we sat drinking and chatting. Everyone was getting on and Barry even took an interest in my dads soldier collection he was beaming as he proudly showed them off. Then Missy Moo arrived complete with camera equipment and folding bed to sleep in. My dad was greeted as Victor (she calls him Victor Meldrew) to be fair I can see a resemblance in the way they act. My dad greeted sue as Sue, Sue, barney mcgrew, cuthbert, dibble and grub he's done that since they first met, they wind each other up and its amusing to watch. Shortly after Sue arrived my Aunt Mary, Uncle Douglas, Aunt Mags, Uncle Iain, Ross and Clare left as they had booked their dinner for seven thirty. We all said our goodbyes and waited for the arrival of my Aunt Shirley, Uncle Alan and their son David and his girlfriend Jodie. Elle and John were coming but were going to stay at the hotel as Elle is six months pregnant so they would see us at the wedding. It was a lovely evening Lee and his parents stayed until about nine then headed off, Lee and Luke, Logan and the girls to the pub, and Lee's mum and dad to the hotel. Then Lorna and Andy left to collect Jordan from work and shortly afterwards my Uncle Alan, Aunt Shirley, David and Jodi left too. My dad disappeared to the pub and that left Sue, my mum and I. By eleven I was knackered and headed to bed leaving them both chatting downstairs. Tomorrow, is my wedding day...now the nerves are kicking in!
21st December - New Year - A new year 2012
To those of you that are avid readers of my blog I apologise for such a long delay in my update. This will be an extremely long catch up blog but I will break it down into sections for you all, I promise lol.
Christmas Day... it was good all the family together, both kids Jenna and Logan, Lee, my mum and dad and Lorna my sister and her partner Andy and Lorna's son Jordan. However, Jenna's 20, Logan's 15 and Jordan's 18 so its kind of lost that Christmassy feeling if you know what I mean.... The kids didn't get much due to us both being skint and maybe I'm wrong but I think they were a little disappointed. Hopefully, someday, I will be able to make it up to them. Anyway we went to my mum and dads, Lee had volunteered to cook all the Christmas dinner for us all. It was beautiful but I was still feeling sick so I didn't eat much. We played on Andy's Xbox Kinect in the conservatory at darts which was fun and Lee played golf with him as well. It was a laugh but I was glad to get home so that I could be sick in my own toilet which I promptly did as soon as we got through the door!! I went to bed hoping the next day would be better
Boxing Day.... Logan left about 12 to go back to his dads. I was gutted to see him going but he had plans with his dad so off he went. I still remember him being born and being so tiny and now he's taller than me... I hope one day he will get his head round me being ill and visit more often. Or maybe come back to me. You never know... Anyway boxing day was a quiet affair just me and Lee watching Christmas TV and for most of it me sleeping and being sick in between. Not a great day.
27th December.... Things are looking up. Woke up feeling on top of the world we have so much to do for the wedding so its time to go get favours for tables pay the final instalment to the florist and Woodkirk Valley Country Club and get things moving. So off we trotted to Country Baskets to get the favours sorted out we got little bags to put on the table with chocolates inside and champagne bubbles... nearly had a heart attack when we got to the till they cost a bloody fortune hope all my guests turn up otherwise the money will have been spent for nothing.
New Years Eve.... We (Lee and I) headed to Missy Moo's (my best friend Sue Copeman's) for a bit of a party. Lee made an Egg and Potato salad and we took that with us. All of us attending made a dish, Tracey and Jon brought pizzas and beer (pizza's were burnt) lol. Kim and Simon brought spinach curry made by simon very nice and sue made chilli, lovely stuff. Nicks children Amelia and Grace were there they are both five year old twins as different as chalk and cheese. Amelia has straight brown hair to her shoulder and likes Dinosaurs and crafty things like baking and making things. Grace has blonde curly hair and just wants to be a princess, she loves dressing up and playing girly games. They are both very funny and cute to watch and love sue and their dad to bits. We arrived at tea time Sue was at her dads with Amelia but Grace was at home with Nick in her princess dress. She changed into a red flamenco one for the party or flamingo as Grace calls it.
Our evening consisted of Sue and Nick and Nick's twin girls Amelia and Grace, Simon and Kim and their two kids Lily-Mae and Theo, some friends of Simon and Kims and their daughter, I'm sorry to say I've forgotten their names and Jon and Tracey Beasley. We ate the curry, chilli, pizza and more and it was lovely we all had a fantastic time. A good evening with lovely people. The kids even said Happy New Year to each other it was lovely to see. Then Sue came in and cried on my shoulder I promised her I'd be around for next year as I knew that was why she was crying it had crossed my mind as well. I don't know how long I will be here for but I hope I will manage another new years eve.
New Years Day we chilled out at Nick and Sue's it was so relaxed we decided to stay another night. The girls went home at tea time and gave us both big hugs before they left. Why can't all children stay at that age its so cute? Nick and Lee and Simon had arranged to go out for a kebab to a place that Nick knows which does giant ones and Sue and I were waiting at home for them to bring us one back. Suprisingly the guys weren't gone for very long and soon arrived back with a Giant and I mean Giant kebab which Sue and I shared and there was still more than I could eat lol. Then we settled down in front of the tv to watch idiot abroad we (Lee and I) haven't watched them before we were all soon howling with laughter. Sue says they are on sky so I'm determined to find them when I get home.
Christmas Day... it was good all the family together, both kids Jenna and Logan, Lee, my mum and dad and Lorna my sister and her partner Andy and Lorna's son Jordan. However, Jenna's 20, Logan's 15 and Jordan's 18 so its kind of lost that Christmassy feeling if you know what I mean.... The kids didn't get much due to us both being skint and maybe I'm wrong but I think they were a little disappointed. Hopefully, someday, I will be able to make it up to them. Anyway we went to my mum and dads, Lee had volunteered to cook all the Christmas dinner for us all. It was beautiful but I was still feeling sick so I didn't eat much. We played on Andy's Xbox Kinect in the conservatory at darts which was fun and Lee played golf with him as well. It was a laugh but I was glad to get home so that I could be sick in my own toilet which I promptly did as soon as we got through the door!! I went to bed hoping the next day would be better
Boxing Day.... Logan left about 12 to go back to his dads. I was gutted to see him going but he had plans with his dad so off he went. I still remember him being born and being so tiny and now he's taller than me... I hope one day he will get his head round me being ill and visit more often. Or maybe come back to me. You never know... Anyway boxing day was a quiet affair just me and Lee watching Christmas TV and for most of it me sleeping and being sick in between. Not a great day.
27th December.... Things are looking up. Woke up feeling on top of the world we have so much to do for the wedding so its time to go get favours for tables pay the final instalment to the florist and Woodkirk Valley Country Club and get things moving. So off we trotted to Country Baskets to get the favours sorted out we got little bags to put on the table with chocolates inside and champagne bubbles... nearly had a heart attack when we got to the till they cost a bloody fortune hope all my guests turn up otherwise the money will have been spent for nothing.
New Years Eve.... We (Lee and I) headed to Missy Moo's (my best friend Sue Copeman's) for a bit of a party. Lee made an Egg and Potato salad and we took that with us. All of us attending made a dish, Tracey and Jon brought pizzas and beer (pizza's were burnt) lol. Kim and Simon brought spinach curry made by simon very nice and sue made chilli, lovely stuff. Nicks children Amelia and Grace were there they are both five year old twins as different as chalk and cheese. Amelia has straight brown hair to her shoulder and likes Dinosaurs and crafty things like baking and making things. Grace has blonde curly hair and just wants to be a princess, she loves dressing up and playing girly games. They are both very funny and cute to watch and love sue and their dad to bits. We arrived at tea time Sue was at her dads with Amelia but Grace was at home with Nick in her princess dress. She changed into a red flamenco one for the party or flamingo as Grace calls it.
Our evening consisted of Sue and Nick and Nick's twin girls Amelia and Grace, Simon and Kim and their two kids Lily-Mae and Theo, some friends of Simon and Kims and their daughter, I'm sorry to say I've forgotten their names and Jon and Tracey Beasley. We ate the curry, chilli, pizza and more and it was lovely we all had a fantastic time. A good evening with lovely people. The kids even said Happy New Year to each other it was lovely to see. Then Sue came in and cried on my shoulder I promised her I'd be around for next year as I knew that was why she was crying it had crossed my mind as well. I don't know how long I will be here for but I hope I will manage another new years eve.
New Years Day we chilled out at Nick and Sue's it was so relaxed we decided to stay another night. The girls went home at tea time and gave us both big hugs before they left. Why can't all children stay at that age its so cute? Nick and Lee and Simon had arranged to go out for a kebab to a place that Nick knows which does giant ones and Sue and I were waiting at home for them to bring us one back. Suprisingly the guys weren't gone for very long and soon arrived back with a Giant and I mean Giant kebab which Sue and I shared and there was still more than I could eat lol. Then we settled down in front of the tv to watch idiot abroad we (Lee and I) haven't watched them before we were all soon howling with laughter. Sue says they are on sky so I'm determined to find them when I get home.
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