To all of you that have been reading my blog I have to apologise. I was going to try and catch up and have been doing my best over the past week. However, hiccups keep on happening. No I don't mean I have the hiccups... just a week of disasters that has left me with little to no time in which to catch up. So here it is as much as I can remember of the last few days squashed into one blog.... I will keep up from now on... promise xxx
On Sunday... much to my horror my Fridge freezer broke.... its only two years old and under extended warranty... its on of those big ones with the water and ice dispenser at the front... Samsung... supposedly a good make. I was gutted...well I'll be honest with you all I sat and bawled my eyes out over something as stupid as my fridge freezer breaking down. What a nutter? I'd lost all my freezer stuff and most of the stuff in the fridge. I wouldn't mind last week it was the dryer.. its still not fixed and now the fridge freezer goes on me. I'd gone over to sues with some diced pork, chicken breasts, and a frozen beef casserole. Luckily she'd had room and stored them for me. I'd rung them but no one could come out until Wednesday that was the earliest date and it was an all day call out anytime between eight am and six pm.
On Monday I went into Wakefield with my elder sister Lorna (thought I'd get the elder bit in ha ha makes me feel good lol). I had bought the cream dress from H&M whilst in Wakefield with my neighbour Sue on Saturday. Me being me I couldn't be bothered to try it on and when I'd gotten it home it was far too big. So my first stop in town with Lorna was H&M. I hurried over to the rail but there were no size 12's.
"Why don't you try on the 12?" Lorna asked me.
"Me a 12? You have to be kidding... no its okay it won't fit" I told her.
"The changing rooms over there try it anyway" she urged me again.
"Okay, I'll try grab this will you" I gave her the bag with the size 16 dress in it that i was returning along with a bottle of water. "Stay around so i can show you"
"Okay".
I couldn't believe it when it fit and was quite shocked that I'd dropped two dress sizes.
"Oh yeah that looks really nice".
"You think"
"Yep". I practically skipped to the til point to hand the size 12 over along with the size 16 in the bag.
"Hiya I got this dress on Saturday but its way too big can I swap it for the smaller size?"
"Yes no problem" she replied and smiled.
When I got back home the Macmillan nurse Linda had arrived and was talking to Jenna.
"Hi sorry I'm late" I told her. "I thought we said half twelve?"
"We did I was early" Linda told me.. " Don't worry".
"Okay so everything okay?" I asked.
"Yes its great" Linda replied.
"Right I'm off upstairs for a bit" Jenna announced.
"So how are you?"
"Okay. Well no actually I've been a bit sick with the anti sickness drugs" I told her. "And I'm still taking 10ml of the Oramorph during the day and I'm worried that's a bit much" I replied.
"Well as I said before its not an issue but we do want to lower the oramorph if we can so I will up the dosage on the Zomorph tablets to 30mg, morning and night, twelve hours apart. And I'll change your anti sickness to Cyclizine".
"Okay that's great thanks".
"So are you okay in yourself?" Linda asked me.
"Its not a bad day today but yesterday was horrendous my Fridge/freezer broke down and I sat and bawled like a baby... I felt like a right fool afterwards".
"Loraine, the crying wasn't about the fridge it was just the straw that broke the camels back... that's all" Linda smiled. "Anyway I have sent the Macmillan grant forms off and I have something to show you" Linda pulled out a leaflet from her bag it was called the willow foundation. "Its a charity that runs special days etc for people and their families who are terminally ill ages eighteen to forty. Anyway they pay for a day out of your choice with your family... to go see a show in London... go to Disneyland and they also pay for family parties... I was thinking your wedding reception" she grinned.
"Ooh you mean I could apply for them to help?"
"Exactly! I've filled my bit out you just need to do yours and send it off... if you get it you get it if you don't you don't. All I would say is because you're due your birthday get it sent off asap".
"Great thanks yes I will. So did you have a chat with Jenna"
"MM I did and you're right there's a lot off stuff she needs to talk about so I will refer her for counselling with Nina at Wakefield the waiting list is about eight weeks but it will still be quicker than going through your GP".
"Okay great thanks Linda."
"Right I have to be going so I will ring you next week before you go away again".
"Okay thanks see you then" I showed Linda out and immediately began filling out my application for the willow foundation.
It was later on Monday afternoon when I realised I still wasn't sure how I was getting to St James's the following day. Sue was coming with me but I wasn't sure of my appointment time or if transport had been arranged, Sue was meeting me there. I rang Sue but she wasn't sure either so I rang the number for hospital transport to check.
"Yes your appointment is half eleven transports been arranged" the voice on the other end of the phone said. Shit! Shit! Shit! I put the phone down Sue wouldn't be coming with me she would be at work cos she started at dinner time. I rang her anyway...
"No you're right I can't come with you I'll be working.."
"Okay I can ask Lorna or the other Sue its not a problem" I told her.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I'll get off and ring them now"
"Okay talk to you later".
You and I couldn't arrange a piss up in a brewery Sue wrote later on facebook.
Tell me about it!! Lorna coming with me had to cancel transport as I don't think she's allowed in transport with me.
Sue and I are pretty useless I think that's why we get on with each other so well cos we're both dizzy cows ha ha.
Tuesday I was up at eight ready to go pick Lorna up at nine forty five one good thing with st James's was that I didn't have to pay for parking as you get a free pass when you leave the appointment. I warned her in advance that we could be waiting a while.
"As long as I can go somewhere for paintbrushes on the way home I don't mind" she told me. She was in the process of painting the bathroom. Why? I have no idea its not long since it was refurbished by the council... but apparently it needs doing again.
We sat in the waiting room for two hours at st james's oncology outpatients unit before we got seen I went in to see Dr Collinson again.
"So how have you been?"
"Okay I guess. Kids aren't good though. I'm afraid my eldest Jenna has taken it quite badly we're trying to get her in to see a counsellor. Macmillan think they can get her seen in about eight weeks" I told her.
"Well it is gonna be hard on the kids there's no doubt about it" she replied. "Have you made a decision on chemo yet?"
"Yes I'm gonna have it" I told her. "I decided Christmas isn't long enough I have way too many things to do before then".
"Good I think that's a really good decision. So we will schedule you in for chemotherapy the way it works is that you will have two infusions on day one, one infusion on day eight, both of which will be from approximately 8.30 til 6pm. Then on day 21 the cycle will begin again".
"So in effect the longest I'll go without chemotherapy will be 13 days?"
"That's right yes"
"Oh..." my face fell. "Lee proposed to me when we got the news and instead of me going to live in Cyprus he is coming to live here. We will be getting married on 14th January 2012. How does that leave me with regards to the chemotherapy as that means I should be having a session on the Tuesday before we get married on the Saturday and obviously I don't want to feel crap."
"We will work round you Loraine, there is lots of things we can do to avoid you having treatment on that Tuesday so don't worry about it".
"Can I ask a question?" My sister spoke up.
"Yes of course"
"Is there any chance Loraine's condition could be hereditary? I mean should we be tested and her children?"
"Its a really good question but in all honesty we don't believe bladder cancer is hereditary and especially in your sisters case as she developed a rare form of cancer."
"Oh right"
"We believe Loraine's cancer has developed due to her continually problems with reflux of her urethra's tubes and the issues with her bladder and frequent infections".
"Right okay."
"Is there any clinical trials open to me?" I asked.
"No due to the type of cancer you have the only thing we have to use is chemotherapy".
"And is there a chance it won't work?"
"There is" the doctor looked at me. "obviously we ask every patient to think positive as this can have a massive effect on recovery and timescales. However as you already know the type of cancer that you have is rare and there is a chance that the chemotherapy won't have any effect on the cancer you have".
"And when will we know that?"
"Well, you will begin treatment on 11th October prior to that treatment beginning we will have an up to date CT scan done. This will show us what the growth has been since your last scan which was done in July. We can measure that growth rate and give you chemotherapy that we think will be beneficial based on the speed that the cancer is growing at. After nine weeks we will repeat that ct scan to see if the chemotherapy we are giving you is having any impact. If its not we could perhaps re jig the chemotherapy providing you haven't had any really bad reactions to it. But you will always be given the choice and when it becomes too much you can always request that we stop."
"Is there a chance you will make the decision to stop"
"There is yes, if we think the treatment is having no affect or harming your quality of life then we may make the decision to stop. But this will always be thoroughly discussed beforehand".
"Okay then".
"Right I have a consent form here to say you agree to have chemotherapy regardless of the side effects are you happy to sign it"
"Mm yes I guess so."
"Right have you had your ct or bone scan yet?"
"No. I haven't"
"I will chase those up for you then Loraine if you haven't got an appointment by the 20th give my secretary a ring and she will chase it up for you, okay?"
"Okay" I passed her the form back.
"Right I think we will see you in clinic again on the 4th is that okay with you?"
"Yes although I have a appointment in the afternoon that day".
"Okay so I will make it an am appointment"
"Okay thanks".
"It won't be with me though because I'm moving departments it will be Mr Jagdev he's very nice".
"Okay thanks".
"Right and good luck".
"Thanks". We headed out the door and for reception and booked in for ten am on Tuesday the 4th of October".
"How do you feel?"
"I'm okay" I replied. "But I'm knackered mind if we just go home?"
"No that's fine, you look tired".
"Thanks".
"You know what I mean".
When I got home I rang Lee asked him if he was happy with the date 14th January 2012.
"I am Mrs Mcevoy"
"Great I'll start making the arrangements then". So the announcement went on facebook. Loraine Mooney and Lee Mcevoy would like to announce their wedding date of 14th January 2012. Everyone get your hats ready!!!The comments came flooding in everyone seemed really happy for us both. So the next thing on my list was to ring Teresa, Stephanie's new mum. Stephanie is my best friend Lisa's little girl. Sadly Lisa died of a brain hemorrhage when Stephanie was just ten months. Teresa is her new mum and we get on really well I have regular contact with Stephanie.
"Teresa its Loraine, do you think Stephanie would be my flower girl on 14th January"
"Ooh you've set a date that's great. I'm sure she'd love to why don't you ask her, I'll put her on".
"Stephanie its Loraine"
"Hi"
"Do you want to be a princess for me on my wedding day.. if i get you a princess dress?"
"Yeah" she replied sounding excited.
"Great well I'll have to take you dress shopping and you can try it on okay?"
"Okay" Stephanie was then replaced with Teresa.
"I think she's gone to tell everyone" Teresa laughed.
"So you don't mind?"
"No we will all be there for you hon glad you are happy".
"Thanks love".
Wednesday morning arrived and I eagerly awaited the arrival of the fridge freezer repairman.
"Its the compressor love,"
"Is that bad?"
"Well it will cost just as much to repair it as it will to replace it. Personally I think they will replace it it won't be worth their while doing the repair".
"Right, so what happens now?"
"I will put my report in by lunchtime. Then tomorrow give them a call and they will probably tell you they are going to replace it" he told me. When the fridge/freezer repairman had left i put a comment on face book saying
'I am so happy that a certain little girl called Stephanie will be flower girl at my wedding'. Teresa added the comment
'She hasn't stopped chatting about it even told her teacher she is going for a princess dress for a wedding so had to explain all to the teacher lol really pleased you asked '. Aw bless I am glad Stephanie is pleased having her being my flower girl will like having Lisa there for my wedding. Its a really nice feeling!
The following day, Thursday. I rang about my fridge freezer.... surprise, surprise they didn't have the engineers report....god why me? So i waited til lunchtime and rang them again.... still no engineers report.. I was getting madder by the second. When I rang back at three finally the report was back.
"Yep its here a compressors been ordered..."
"Pardon... I thought you were just going to replace it?"
"No if its fixable we'll fix it" she told me.
"And how long is this going to take?"
"Well the parts been ordered its in stock so will probably get to the engineer by Monday and then its up to him to arrange a time to come and fix it".
"I can't wait that long I haven't had a fridge since Sunday" I told her. "My son's a diabetic and I've got terminal cancer is there nothing else you can do?"
"No nothing".
"Great well thanks for your help" I got off the phone and bawled my eyes out. Pathetic I know but i did. No fridge for a bloody week and if i was away by the time they got the part no fridge for two weeks bloody great!!!
On Friday morning I got up early with Jenna to go to the doctors with her. She wasn't sure if they were going to take her implant out straight away or if she would need another appointment. So we headed off early once in the doctors we sat and waited. It was a female doctor Jenna was seeing and I've seen her quite a lot over the years. I think when she saw me everything fell into place about why Jenna was going through a lot of shit. Reality dawned on her face as I said
"I hope its okay for me to be here Jenna wanted me to come"
"Yes that's fine." She replied. "So Jenna things any better?"
"Not really no..." she began to cry.
"Do you want me to go so you can talk?" I asked and Jenna nodded through her tears so I upped and left. She left the surgery with two repeat prescription....none of which we could actually afford to pay for as I only had six pounds in my purse until she got paid on the 20th.
"We'll have to wait til you get paid on Tuesday and then you can get it I told her... .if I had the money I'd give it to you to pay for it".
"I know mum" we headed home and back to our beds cos we were both knackered! At around twelve the post arrived. I heard it land on the floor and Jenna rush to get it.
"Any for me?" I asked.
"Yep " she replied. So I went down to collect it. There was a lovely surprise waiting for me in an envelope a cheque from Macmillan cancer support for £300. Phew!! That would make things a bit easier for a while. Next I went upstairs to register for online banking as I had some new details through for my new bank account. But first I nipped on to check my natwest account... there was £250 just sitting there.. where was that from? Dla? Ooh...
I hadn't gotten any notification from Disability Living Allowance... However it looked like I was getting paid it.... interesting! I got on the phone to DLA and gave them my details.
"I've got a payment from you but no paperwork so I don't know what its for can you check it for me?"
"Yes a decisions been made Loraine. Its on its way out in the post to you. "You've been awarded the highest rate of care component and the highest mobility component so that payment is for two weeks you also qualify for the car tax refund so all the paper works on its way out to you. There should be another payment into your account of £125 next week to bring you up to date and then you will receive £125 every week from then on."
"Great thanks." I came off the phone and rang Lee... "they've given me the award" I screamed down the phone at him in excitement...."I've been given the highest rate for everything I'll even get a disabled parking badge"
"Aw love I'm so pleased for you cos I know its what you wanted."
"What would you like me to bring you a present anything".
"Aw darl surprise me"
"Okay ..."
"Or what about an engagement ring?"
"Okay yep if that's what you want get me your ring size and i will get you a ring" I told Lee.
"Okay I'll call in tomorrow and get you it" he told me.
"Right I'm off on a spending spree"
"You do that get yourself some new gear" he told me.
I arrived at Sue's at around 6.15 as we got stuck in traffic. It was after seven when we arrived at the fleece. The welcome was tremendous. Simon and Kimberley were sat down with the kids Theo and Lily Mae and John (Sue's dad) and Celia were standing at the bar. It was lovely to see everyone again. The golden fleece was also so warm and welcoming. I sat next to Kim and she immediately began talking about my wedding and the stuff she'd arranged for it with regards to invites etc. I was quite overwhelmed at the thought Kim had put into everything it was a great night had by all and I can't wait to come back to Howden and do it all over again!!
No comments:
Post a Comment