I haven't slept again and woke early to get ready for hospital... well actually I was woken by a wet patch, my bag had leaked again!!
This is the only problem with Urostomy bags, sometimes.. they move, or lift during the night depending on how restless a sleeper you are... with me this tends to be happening far too often and I keep say I'm gonna get in touch with a stoma nurse... but I haven't.
"Shit, shit, shit" it was five am and here i was hopping on one leg trying hard not to fall over my night bag whilst trying to secure the stoma bag to me with the other hand so I wasn't getting too wet... and failing at it miserably....in the end at five fifteen I was having a shower trying to wash the smell of old women off me!! I still think I stink of wee all the time and am constantly asking close friends if I do... they all say no but I do wonder if that's just out of politeness... I can smell it... well... i think I can!
It seemed pretty pointless going back to bed so after the shower I got dressed and went down and put on the kettle all I have to do now is wait an eternity for it to bloody boil! I have a whistling kettle you see.... yes one of the old fashioned ones... The dick...(Dave the ex) decided whilst showing off one day on a shopping trip that he would buy me a kettle and a new coffee maker. Kettle purchased from Le Creuset to be posh, followed by a coffee maker from Gaggia... I sold the coffee maker ages ago! The kettle is still here and I do intend to get rid sooner now rather than later cos I'm sick of waiting for it to boil. Problem is you see... I'm a matching freak. Everything has to match.... all the accessories in my kitchen are currently country cream. Toaster, tea, coffee, sugar, plates, bowls, etc. So I need a cream kettle an electric one that doesn't take an eternity to boil like the one from Le Creuset!! Yes it was expensive and it looks nice but when you want a quick cuppa I'm quicker driving to my mums and waiting for her to put the kettle on!!! So another thing on my bucket list is a cream electric kettle preferably by Morphy Richards in cream and silver to match the toaster... and I will get round to buying one before i die!!
Krystyna got stuck in traffic on the way to pick me up so when she arrived it was just knocking on for ten. We headed to the petrol station first but she refused to take any money off me for petrol. I will make her before the month is out!
We got to the hospital for about twenty to eleven.. this time I had no idea where I was going so I asked at reception. Fifth door on your left the receptionist told me.
So we headed for the fifth door on the left, booked in and were then told to proceed to waiting area three... which was next to the reception we'd just come from.... there is something very wrong with walking aimlessly up and down corridors... it just doesn't sit right. So we sat in waiting area three and Krystyna told me about Leah her eldest who's nineteen and we compared notes about her and my eldest Jenna who's twenty. Conclusion... all older girls...(or perhaps first born children in general) lie through their teeth about everything, eat crap junk food all day long, sleep a lot and are the messiest creatures on earth!!! All fifteen year old boys...(or second born children possibly) Krystyna has Joel and I have Logan, are straight A students, very neat and tidy and hate cuddles from their mum in public cos it ruins their street cred... and are tidy ... in their own spaces!!! Weird!!
"Loraine Mooney"
"Yep that's me" I jumped up.
"Can I come?" Krystyna asked.
"Are you a relative?"
"No just a friend"
"Well if Loraine wants you here then you're welcome". We followed the nurse down to the pre-assessment room.
"Right Loraine I have to go through a series of questions first, then we'll talk you through you're treatment and whats going to happen tomorrow and answer any questions you have".
"Okay fine".
"So have you had any previous surgeries anything like that before now?"
"Where do you want me to start? I suppose most relevant" I said answering my own question. "Okay last year. I was diagnosed with a squamous cell carcinoma of the bladder which led to a radical cystectomy so i have a urostomy bag, they also did a hysterectomy..."
"Was that cos of spread?" the nurse asked.
"Yes it spread to my cervix, small bowel and lymph nodes whilst I was waiting for the cystectomy to be done so I had a partial bowel dissection and lymph nodes around my bowel and bladder were removed.."
"Ah so you've had chemo before then"
"Nope I couldn't have any. Until now"
"Right..." she looked puzzled. "Its palliative care only" I told her. "Not a cure.."
"Well you seem to be handling it quite well Loraine"
"I don't have much option do I?" I replied. "Its get on with it or give in... and I have too much to do to give in just yet!"
"Good that's what I like to hear", the nurse smiled.
"Lets talk you through your chemotherapy" she told me and smiled. I took it in this time.. according to her I would have treatment day one, day eight, and day fifteen and then a week off.
"I have crap veins" I told her... but whether I was heard or not she didn't say anything.
"So whilst you're having chemotherapy I do have to advise you if you or your partner are intimate he needs to wear a condom"
"Oh right... why's that then?"
"Because the symptoms can be transferred from the chemotherapy so there's a chance he could suffer the effects of chemotherapy... i.e. loose his hair. I laughed and Krystyna laughed.... she knew what I was thinking before I said it.
"God that would be so funny if we woke up and all his hair was on the bed" I screamed with laughter and Krystyna followed.
"Ha well I did tell you" the nurse Lizzy smiled and I grinned.
"No its fine I will tell him... but god that would be so tempting to someone you really hated wouldn't it....?" I grinned at Krystyna and she grinned back we both knew I was thinking about an ex of mine... he so deserved it.. lol.
"I just need to check your weight and height again next Loraine, so we know how much chemo to give you" she took me over and weighed me.
"Right I'm pretty much all done have you got any questions"
"Will I loose weight?"
"Not necessarily you may do but some patients put it on"
"Oh no really?" I grimaced. "I thought there would be at least one plus point in all this ... i.e. weight loss!!"
"Well if you're poorly i.e. have the sickness and diarrhea symptoms all the time then the chances are you will loose weight but you'll feel pretty poorly so its weighing it up really. I mean which would you rather feel really poorly and loose weight or feel okay and perhaps put it on?"
"Feel poorly and loose it" I told her grinning. She laughed.
"Get out of here!" she grinned. "Go get your bloods done then you can go!"
"Ha ha okay see you next time!" We left me giggling to the blood room. Suprisingly she got my blood first time.. there was hope for me yet!!! Onwards and upwards chemo tomorrow!!!
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